I once fathered a bear cub.

Okay just imagine a nice quiet street block with a few kids playing at the end of it, two of those kids being my cousin and I. We were racing up and down the block on foot and on our way back, out of no where a german shepherd appears. My cousin and I begin to run for our lives and faster then ever, coming up on our right is a lamp post a little ahead of the dog we quickly jump and begin to climb for our lives. Now the dog is at our heels and right in the nik of time the owner gets a hold of the raging dog.
Only if I owned one of these sooner I might have been able to scare of that deranged animal.
:P

I can just see my cousin wearing this. He’s 16, 6 foot 8” and 350lbs. And the personality of a teddy bear to match.

So I thought long and hard about what my best animal related story is. Cue the lights.

My family just moved from Venezuela to Orlando and I don’t think any of our neighbors thought we were any kind of sane, but that’s another story. In an effort to make our neighbors like us more my mother sent me over to my next door neighbors house with some christmas cookies, so eight-year-old me is walking down the sidewalk and I notice that the cocker spaniels across the street are barking at me. So I start walking a little faster towards the neighbors house, and the dogs start coming at me. So I drop the cookies and start hauling ass down the street. And y’know how in scary movies, the victim always forgets how to run and falls flat on their face? Yeah, I fell and the dogs start barking at me and licking me and ughhh it was awful. By this time my (extremely overprotective) mom had noticed that I was screaming and came outside with a broom. So she starts beating these rabid, monsters of cocker spaniels with the broom. That’s how neighbors become friends in America, right?! SO. Cue the owners of the cocker spaniels walking out their door to see the weird new neighbor beating their dogs with a broom while I lay on the ground screaming bloody murder because some dogs barked at me. AND THAT’S MY STORY. Luckily, we didn’t stay in that house long and my mom learned that beating the neighbor’s dogs with a broom isn’t exactly a great icebreaker…

Blackey the immortal cat!

When i was younger me and my friends found a stray cat. Not being very creative we just named it Blackey due to its color… Now Blackey had a very distinctive white tuft of hair and a white tipped paw. Blackey was our neighborhood stray she would come around periodically we would just see her and she would always let us come up to her and pet her or feed her.
One day on my way home frome school i saw a a cat in the middle of the street dead… I went to investigate and i swear it was blackey it even had the same white tuft and black front paw. But later that week i saw her again she had killed a rabbit and was eating it. She dint even try to run wheni approached, somthing a a stray cat wouldn normally do to defend its kill so i knew it was her she let me pet her and had the same markings.
A few weeks later one of my friends came up and said that blackey was dead they had seen her hit by a car. But u guessed it we saw her again later. She became legend not just to my small circle of friends but peopel who knew her from us playing with her. I think in total she has died like 3 times!! So she may be immortal but not very bright cause she was always road kill

My amstaff mix Kaci loves to go to the dog park with my best friend’s beagle Luna. They like to do “border patrol” where they sniff the entire perimeter. It’s pretty amusing to watch, b/c Kaci will get bored and run off then come back.

The only animal story I have is the reason we bought our dog. My little brother went to the pet store and got our puppy. Later when I asked him why he picked the girl instead of the boy he said “Well..She was licking the glass!”

When i was seven i was bitten by a dog. If i was wearing a sweater that made me look like a bear i don’t think i would have been bitten by this dog.

I went to a fancy dress party once, and one of my friends decided to go dressed as a gorilla. To maximise the effect, he decided he would make an entrance by climbing up and over the balcony on the second floor of the house. One of the other party guests, who may or may not have consumed some mind altering substance had a complete panic attack when, sitting alone on the deck for a bit of a timeout, a gorilla suddenly appeared and charged towards him. He hid in a bedroom for several hours after that.

last year my giant schnauzer ate one of my socks. we were hanging out with some friends and their 2 other dogs at a lake. i have dropped my socks to get my feet into the water. my dog Igor took one of my socks to play with and the other 2 dogs ran after him. i think my dog got jelous and swallowed the sock. my best friend took the other sock of the pair and before i could warn him no took give Igor the that one too… it was too late. my dog had one pair of my socks swallowed. Igor was quite good in shape. everybody was saying it will be fine, the sock would ‘erase’ in his stomach. a week later gor dropped 1 the usual way, and a day after he just vomited the other. the socks were in superb shape. i just washed the pair at 90degrees centigrade and still have ‘em. not wearing them tho’. lucky-socks??? maybe

grrrrrrrrr…iza want to be a bear!!!!!!

I HATE POSSUMS!!!!
While I was going to art school I was working as manager for a small pizza place in San Diego. At closing I would usually send the drivers and cooks home and stay behind counting money etc. with the front gate locked and the glass door to the place open for air. One night as i’m counting the register I see out of the corner of my eye something dash into the dining area and head for the front corner of the restaurant and under some aluminum tables, I go look and I see what I believe is a cat hiding underneath said tables, out of my reach. It won’t come out so I go back to finish closing up in hopes that by the time im ready to go so will he. as im counting I see a LARGE possum emerge from under the table and in what he thought was stealthy, slowly walk across the dining area attempting to head for the kitchen (where i had a pizza and some subs cooking for some hungry friends waiting with a movie at home) I grab a broom and attempt to direct the beast out of the restaurant, only to have him run back under the tables in the corner. What followed was 3 1/2 hours (!) of me quietly waiting in a darkened restaurant for a possum to try to periodically sneak into the kitchen at snails pace; each time me waiting a little longer before jumping out and attempting to lead him out. I finally cooked up some ham and placed it in front of the door and on the fourth or fifth attempt of me running at him with a broom to chase him out, he left. I ended up giving the pizza and subs to some nearby homeless folks and rented Mullholland Drive on my own. POSSUMS SUCK!!

Be careful ‘cause this is a really sad story.
I once had a hamster who goes by the name Rambo. At the age of seven, he was my hero and I was madly in love with this fur ball. It was a beautiful sunny day and I decided to put its cage outside, as he could play under the sun nearby I was playing with a friend of mine.

The hours passed and the the plastic cage, as a magnifying glass, literally burns the poor Rambo. Rambo died as a hero, I will never forget him. RIP, you poor guy!

my turtle is a ninja.

Born with a small, and yet unsightly, unicorn horn that protrudes from just above my hairline I am currently in the market for clothing such as your hoodie that would help me hide my embarrassing flaw. The incessant games of ringtoss, calls of “you’re going to put an eye out with that thing, and general wishes for me to fart rainbows have gotten to be too much. I fear that if I do not soon find a suitable means of achieving a suitable amount of dignity I will be forced to amputate. Please, I beg you, do not mar what could be the last of a long, proud line of “mythical” beasts.

When I was in high-school, my best friend Andy and I were keenly interested in the natural world. We also loved finding “treasures” on our hikes, like old milk cans, grist-mill wheels, pedal cars, etc. This led us, one day, to hike behind a local farm, along the Lamoine River. While we’d already raked the muddy banks, and had scoured the hillsides, it was decided to split-up on the way back—to cover more ground. Andy walked the banks again, and I ended up in the 7-foot tall wild grass in the flats. Much to my surprise, I heard something, low to the ground, coming slowly towards me. I stopped, crouched-down, and waited with a big stick for what may come my way. Steadily, I crept forward, adrenaline pumping blood in my ears. Mere inches away, the thing and I were within reach of each other. And then, as I parted the few remaining blades of grass… a pink snout snorted in my face, reared-back, and pulled a quick about-face before I could even allow the panicked, and shocked, shout to leave my lungs! Phew… thank goodness it wasn’t a coyote or puma! However, next time may not be so lucky. A Rocket World Shag Master Creature Hoodie could really save my bacon, when I rear-up with bear-ears, fooling the local fauna into believing that I’m no mere creature to be trifiled-with! Huzzah, and God Jul from Sir William Wesley!

So here are a few of my animal trama tales:

When I was 8 I had a hamster called Cleo, one day we notice that it had these two lumps underneath its belly. Our other friend had a hamster and her’s died of cancer to the belly. So being worried I convinced my mum that we should take Cleo to the vets. When we arrived the vet looked at Cleo and shook hiis head… ’ Im afriad you will have to change Cleo’s name.. as the lumps aren’t cancer but infact Cleo is a LEO!! has has just got really big balls’ it cost my mum £10 for the sex diagnosis.

One day I was out playing golf and i was on the 1st tee and put my shot into the thick grass. So i went away to try and find my golf ball when I could hear a high pitch squeeling… I stepped back and noticed a small SHREW screaming for its life, what had happend was that my spikes from my golf shoes had pierced a hole through its stomach and all its guts were coming out of this hole. There was the decision of do I kill it with my golf club and put it out of its misery or do i walk away… i walked away and left it!! That shrew still haunts me today.

Im no Dr Dolittle but i think i need a break… possible a new bear hoodie would do it!

Back in my crazy rave days I used to wear a hot pink gorilla costume. I had to make it myself and it held up for a few years. I retired it by burying it in the wooded area behind my house, it seemed fitting at the time considering how matted and dirty it had become. It makes me laugh thinking of the poor soul that unearths it, I can only imagine how disturbing that would look.

Yesterday, I caught my flatmate, Kirsty Macdonald, frying her goldfish Beajoo.

One time while pulling into Yosemite - I realized my entire car smelled of Salmon and became very frightened.

My cat is an indoor cat. though this doesnt stop him from bringing me presents. his favourite place to put them is on my bed…whether i am in it or not. Being an indoor cat this leads to funny improvization on his part…I’ve found everything from things i was sure he took out of the trash (empty toilet roll tubes), to pieces of my models I build in my living room (bad cat! models are not for cats!), to a variety of his toys…One night i awake to HORRIBLE screaching…in fact I awake to a HORRIBLE mass of squirming black under henry’s paws on my bed…as i am without aid of glasses while i sleep i had no idea what it was….just that it was HORRIBLE…After running out of the room and debating whether to never go back in there again, i find my glasses and peak…it is a bat…on my blankets! And henry is playing with him (much to the bat’s displeasure) Now bats are PROTECTED in my neck of the woods, so i actually had to rescue it from henry (much to his displeasure, and mine) and somehow get it back out through my open window (in a cereal bowl i have since bleached 5 times…bats are also dirty)…now as much as i am displeased with henry, and really happy he is an indoor cat…i now know that he will always protect me…albeit in his strange cat way. THE END.

My animal story: When I was about 8 years old, I was walking in the street with my grandpa and we saw a skunk, with its head stuck in an empty can. I kinda ran away to avoid being sprayed by the poor beast. My grandpa decided to save the animal, removed the can from its head, got sprayed and all stinky. Bath of tomato juice for him. Still, saved the skunk.

title: SAVE THE DOLPHINS

Hi, my name is Sung. My boyfriend (Dave) and I (were away in Los cabos), one night, were watching a little ‘tube’ and landed on a show on some animal network channel….with no particular show in mind.

Honestly, I’ve never was a fan of dolphins, I always thought they were too sassy and a little too happy for me ALL the time. (No interesting ‘character’ to them..ya know?)

BUT anyways, this very lovely and very convincing man by the name of Roger Payne had a documentary about is life’s work in trying to save them and why it was so important to try to save dolphins and whales…He explained how peaceful they were, how important they were for the environment and how…. all they do is make music! (Whales make music in the ocean by the way). He also showed horribly terrifying footage of whalers killing these innocent creatures and how laws are hard to pass to stop it, etc. He had dedicated his entire life to work towards this….

fast forward: Although I’m by no means a “dramatic, emotional” person, it was extremely touching and I even had made a promise to not eat tuna anymore. (Tuna is dolphins source of food.)

Tears started to trickle down my face as I tried to pretend I was wasn’t crying, Dave catches me. (damn!)

Dave: “oh my gosh, are you ok?…this was a very touching documentary.”
Sung: ((Sniffle))
Dave: ((petting sung)) “I know, it’s ok. If this man told me I was a dolphin, I’d believe him. When we get home, let’s do research and see what we can do to help.”
Sung: ((sniffle, wipe))
Dave: “you know..we’ll be like BRANGELIA! travel around the world, do good deeds, volunteer.. You like that?”
Sung: ((sniffle)) (nodding in approval)
Dave: “…it’s just that we’ll be known as …….DUNG!”

:)

Since that day, I’ve been a fan of dolphins and want to buy t shirts from the zoo with dolphin and whales on it.
I love stickers and animals. Thank you!

Oh man that Jacket rules! It would be insane to where this everywhere and freak people out. Anyways here’s my animal story. One night I had this huge party at my house. I was completely wasted and need to pee really bad. I went to the back yard where everyone was and started peeing on the fence. All of the sudden my friends starting laughing at me. Why you might ask? Our cat decided to attack my stream of piss with his front paws. Yea I peed on our cat. There was nothing I could do!

When I was 16 I encountered a bear while walking back to school after lunch, from a distance it looked like a large dog since it was partially covered by some shrubs (i was on a little shortcut trail). I didnt fully realize what it was until I was about 6 feet away.

I screamed and ran uphill. Perhaps not the wisest of choices, but it just sat there and watched me.

I was late for class and my English teacher thought I was fibbing, so I had to write a poem about “Why It’s Bad To Lie About Bears” and read it to the entire class. Right.

Firstable, please excuse my english…i am just a lil frog from Paris,

So the story, when I was about 15 years old, my friends and I used to skate board from mid day to night time. During summertime, it was bloody hot and the only shop open was pretty expensive, about 2,50 euro the can, by the time we didn’t have much money so we decide to buy a can for 3 of us.

Me and my friend decided to skate a lil bit more to fully enjoy the icy drink, My other friend took a sip and left the can …and it tooks 1 minutes for a F***KING pigeon to shit straight on the hole of the can!!! …we were devasted and thirstyyy… thanx bloody pigeon..I did have my revenge but that’s another story…

Back when i lived in the Netherlands we had what i think was one of the strangest collections of cats & dogs. We had Panic, the red and white dog who had broken 3 of her legs when she jumped over a wall that turned out to be a lot higher on one side than the other, Myata the black depressed cat for whom we had to buy cat-anti-depressants (yes, they exist…), Stereo the ‘i-am-a-dog-and-i-will-only-eat-broccoli’ cat, and last but not least Ruby and Robo, Ruby being the very gay brother to Robo the extremely adventurous but also extremely slow and stupid cat who after falling off of the roof 3 times ended up having braces to keep his jaw in place…

Sometimes the most amazing experiences I’ve had, have been doing very simple things. And sometimes, just sometimes, to appreciate these little things we need a ridiculuously complicated set up.

Diving is a very complex experiece.It involves freedom and fear in such symbiotic ways that in a particularly spectacular dive you forget about a lot of the things you originally set out to do. I was just down there to see the sea-life. I had the nevbulous idea of becoming some kind of sea life investigator, which i was later informed are also known as marine biologists.
We got to the botom, a party of six, and i immediately separated from the group with my instructor. It was a fairly uneventful dive. My instructor indicated we should go up. I checked my air tank-s pressure. I had been overly lax in monitoring and now it turned out i was not going to have enough to get to the top. As panic chilled my guts, the sweet air coming out of the tank started become more and more difficult to pull.
As floated there wildly gesticulating at my instructor, my mind paralysed with fear there appeared a a small red speck. Ina moment i saw it scoot accross my field of vision and in that moment the water was perfectly clear.
Clear enough to be able to see every last tensed line of the long thin legs and spindly tiny claws, the bright orange and pink reflections of the tiny creature, the simple beauty of this moving speck. The light highlighted it perfectly as it hung there suspended between two strokes, its tiny little body as unmoving as mine between two breaths of vital air.

And as i was slowly suspended there, face to face with this spider crab i remembered why i was down there: to see something simply beautiful.

My instructor gave me an extra tank, but i was never able to forget what my oxygen deprived brain had expereinced in that single moment.

What a wicked fleece. Ideal for hiking on colder days. On one of the warmer ones, however, my friend and I took once again to the hills of East Glacier, Montana. Having failed to spot a bear on our previous jaunts we’d pretty much given up. Imagine our surprise when, on one of the more open paths, we glanced across to see a black bear happily pawing at a bush a few feet up and across from us. The bear looked at us, we looked at the bear. The bear was unimpressed and returned to the task at hand. We leapt out of our skin when we heard the brush right behind us move thinking we’d wandered between two bears. The chipmunk that had made the noise looked at us, clearly pleased with himself at inspiring such fear before scampering up a tree drunk with power.

Last summer I was on a road trip to Yosemite, and on the way back I was driving on the freeway and out jumped a deer that scared the crap out of me. I ended up hitting it and totaled my car =(. Oh and the deer was dead too.

My cat can say “HAM!”

My friend and I were backpacking when we came across a bear. It had been rolling in the dirt enjoying itself when we walked right up to it. We realized that we had snuck up on a bear about the same time that it realized some people had snuck up on it. How far were we from it? Oh, I’d say a stones throw. How do I know that? We threw rocks at it! All joking aside though, we were about 30 feet from the bear. Startled, it dashed out of the clearing. After gaining our courage, we continued our hike and had a good camping trip.

this hoodie looks so irresistibly cuddly!

I have an adorable striped tabby cat and my mom brought home a stuffed pillow shaped and printed like a cat that looks just like him. Now whenever my cat is in the room with the pillow, which is made to stand up so it looks like a sitting cat, he makes sure to sit behind the pillow and keep an eye on it at all times.
I wonder what he’d think of me in this hoodie …

Dear Notcot,

I have put up with my owner for over 13 years. Need to find a way to escape, and this bear hoodie just might do the trick. The list of my suffering is long, and the sheer audacity of my owner’s cavalier attitude towards me clearly isn’t going to stop.
My owner:
• hoards my bags and cans of food and snacks around the kitchen, mocking my lack of opposable digits.
• sifts through my bathroom a few times a week. I find this creepy and sad.
• often uproots me from the best napping place in the house. Clean clothes smell good, why wouldn’t one want to sleep on them?
• chases me around the house with this large and very loud object. I don’t see the fun in wheeling that stupid thing across the floor.

I could go on forever, but my time is running short. Just heard something outside, which means yet another rough night of scheduled eating, napping, and playfully bantering around with this psychopath. Sure, the petting and daily massages are nice, but I’m wise to all of the old tricks to get my attention. Don’t they know who I am?! Using this disguise will provide me with a new opportunity, and further advance my aspiration to take over the world.

Thank you for your time and consideration,

Cat

My name is Julia. Julia Wolff, double ff it is. i am a nice wolff, a good one. But how would a wolff look like in a this hoodie? like a wolff in bears’s clothing?? i’d like to try it. May i?

I know which direction evolution is supposed to run, but I can’t say I’m always convinced. A good case for this exists in the monkeys that inhabit the E Mei Mountain in China’s Sichuan province (also known for pandas). My family and I took a trip to climb the mountain a couple of years ago and we had known about the monkeys and hired a guide to lead us through the trails. We knew the monkeys viewed it as their right to collect food from anyone traveling through their territory and we knew it was foolish to provoke them. They’re pack animals and can respond with a group force that could easily overwhelm a single person. Our guide, however, told us additional stories of monkeys, dissatisfied with stale crackers, who had taken apart cameras and forcibly removed trinkets from unlucky travelers. Perhaps the most dramatic story was one involving a human baby being thrown off a cliff. Google has failed to substantiate these stories and I hope the last one is, at least, an exaggeration. But it surely scared us enough to learn to keep to ourselves. Still, we were curious to see these creatures and we eventually met a group of them on our way down the mountain. They are notably at ease around people and don’t flinch or shy away from attention. Perhaps the most startling trait, though, was that they could seem to maintain eye contact. Our guide carried a large stick and would wave it at them whenever they monkeys got to close, but we readily emptied our pockets of all the food we had. I even gave up a rice cracker that I had triple wrapped in hopes of sneaking it past the monkeys as a last resort snack in case of an emergency. I was 16 at the time, and a single rice cracker actually seemed like a reasonable plan against unforeseeable tragedy. (Since then, I have invested in Cliff Bars.) While we played visitors to this group’s territory, we followed what seemed to be their rules and forgot for a while, what advantage our split evolutionary paths had given us.

My friend has this friend on Facebook, and this friends friends name, REAL NAME, is Squire Wells. Like squirrels? His name is basically Squirells. That deserves a prize.

So, I’m at the aquarium with some friends, and we decided to go to the “Interactive Zone”, or whatever it was called. There was, naturally, a huge line of kids and even a whole class with a teacher waiting as well, and the line slowly moved forward to pet/touch/stick your hand in the water and claim you touched the animal with large teeth. Well, I was at the front of my line of friends, right behind the teacher. We came to a little tank about waist-level against a wall that had some kind of tiny little fish in it, or maybe it was seahorses. I don’t remember very well, but what I do remember is that the fish jumped out of the tank as the teacher passed it, and she totally freaked out. It was hilarious, since the fish was so small and no one else but me and her noticed for a good 30 seconds. Even better, the little fishy was spazzing out on the floor until an infuriated aquairum attendant came over, glared at her, and put it back…

Hope I win! That’s a sweet hoodie.

One time, I was eaten by a bear.

when i was a kid, my neighbors had a fox they kept in their backward. one day me and my friend tried to lure the fox over to my yard by tying a piece of leftover fried chicken to one end of a jump rope. the fox took the bait but we couldn’t quite get it over the fence. it wouldn’t let go of the fried chicken though and we lifted it almost all the way over but after a few minutes of stuggling with the fox we gave up

I had a cat named Rex, we called him Rex the Wonder Cat. He was vicious, and outside cat, and loved to bite and claw. Rex was a fighter, and my neighbors left their garage doors open just a tad so he could come in and get warm during his roaming periods. Needless to say Rex is not with us anymore. A neighbor called me and told me she had my cat Rex. When I got to her house, he was laying there lifeless, and covered in blood. Rex had gotten in a brawl, a real bad one this time. His head was ripped open and you could see his skull, he also had a large part of his ear missing. We immediately took Rex to the vet, and everything was confirmed. Rex had kicked a Raccoon’s ass! The Vet said he might have even killed the Raccoon! (something about claw marks on his butt, I dunno) Anyways, Rex was amazingly given surgery, meds, and a lot of TLC at home. After that fight he was never the same. He was nice, wanted to be petted, and actually didn’t attack me ever again. He ended up dying from kitty Leukemia, but man I miss him. What a badass!

I have a dog named Waffles all he does is thirst for water, water and more water nothing more. one day at the beach he wanted water so bad that he went into the ocean and almost drown. I then went onto to save his life.

The End

I accidentally swallowed my goldfish, Skippy :[ I miss Skippy.

My imaginary boyfriend, who happens to be a bear during the full moon, threatened to break up with me unless I wear a catsuit. Can you imagine?! 8 years together has come to nothing but a feline fantasy. Grant me the ROCKET WORLD SHAG MASTER CREATURE HOODIE and that’ll teach him never to cramp my style.

pretty neat details. I particularly like the glow-in-the-dark skeleton detail.

the cubs lost, again.

Just recently, a friend of mine interviewed me for a video short that was to be part of a larger, collaborative project. The film was shown on Saturday and I went to see it and then to the closing reception. Three different people came up to me and said, “Hey, you were in the film, with the cat!” I had been interviewed on my front porch in the summer and behind me, my cat Armando had come to the window and stolen the show. Must be nice to be cute and covered in fur.

Ballin. And warm-looking.
Here’s an animal story: my nickname is “bear.”
Maybe because I’m cute and somewhat clumsy… maybe it’s because I regularly eat hikers.

When I was 4 years old I went to the zoo and my favourite animals were the monkeys and the gorillas. We were at the gorilla enclosure and I put my hand up against the glass to wave to the biggest one who was fairly close. He came over and placed his hand right over mine on the other side of the glass.

My boyhood friend had a parakeet with a malformed beak. His dad decided to fix it with a file and a pair of pliers. The bird was put under with something, not sure what. The dad then went to work with the pliers and file, and broke off the entire upper beak inadvertently. Fortunately the bird never came to. I head that years later my friend killed himself.

two hikers were on the road together, when a bear suddenly appeared ahead of them. before the bear noticed them, one of the hikers dashed for a tree at the side of the road, and climbed up and hid there. his companion, on the other hand, stood and faced the bear.

in the midst of the stand off, the bear struck the hiker with its paws, but the ferocity of the hiker made it clear that the hiker was not going to be an easy meal, and the bear left.

when the coast was clear, the hiker in the tree came down, and went beside his companion, who was lying on the ground, bleeding.

“why?” he asked.

“there is no greater love than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends” came the answer.

We had a dead budgie in our freezer for 4 years.

Shocking I know, but the short story goes: we had a pet budgie named Spice for 8 years. we loved this bird. he was never in his cage, he could talk, play soccer, sing to whitney houston songs and he could beatbox. one day, in a tragic accident, dad accidentally killed him (don’t read the next line if you are sensitive to the death of little birds) by closing the door behind him and not realizing that he had caught Spice’s neck, the poor thing was just being his usual self, trudging on the carpet on his feet just like the rest of us humans, and wanted to follow dad into the room. he didn’t make it. dad, fell to his little limp body, pounded his fist on the ground and yelled “noooooooo, Spiiiiiiiiiice” (true story, my poor dad). he was the VIP of the family, everyone loved him, neigbours, friends, one time visitors, everyone.

on the day of his death, after hearing the news everyone came home early from work/school to grieve. mum wanted to stuff him. we thought that was a little creepy. in the end, we all agreed to bury him in a pot plant so we could take him with us when we moved house (less creepy). so we put him in plastic soap container, wrapped him up in aluminium and cling wrap, placed that in a lunchbox and wrapped that up in more aluminium and cling wrap.

mum wanted the perfect pot plant to bury him in. She took weeks to find it..then eventually months, then eventually years.. I became known as “the girl with the bird in her fridge” to friends of friends, and some friends of friends of friends. yep.

but i’m happy to say, mum eventually found a beautiful pot to bury him in, and a plant to grow over him so Spice is finally out of his morgue and rested beneath some birds of paradise flowers.

see, happy story!

when i was 12 my parents bought us a baby budgie for a pet, it’s a pretty common pet in australia. but our budgie wasn’t common. his name was Spice and he was blue and white like the sky. he said a hundred things, ‘i love you’, ’ spice is a good budgie boy’, etc. he could beatbox (he would imitate my brother). he played soccer with a big yellow bead we had. and he went through a stage of singing along to Whitney Houston’s “Shoop” song. He also had friends in the outside world; they’d sit atop our fence, while spice stood on the floor in front of the fly screen and they’d chirp to each other. we loved him so. for 8 years he was the VIP of our family.

then one day, dad was walking down the hallway into his room, not realizing that Spice was hobbling on the carpet behind him, he closed the door… but felt like there was something in the way… when

I once wrestled a bear. We’ll be married this April.

I got sprayed by a skunk while taking out the recycling after a party last weekend… and i was wearing my favorite hoodie. this would be an awesome replacement for that rank thing.

Oh my gosh — a bear-hoodie for adults! Well, my boyfriend would be very grateful for this prize. Being naturally hirsute and “bear-ish” in his form, I am forever shaping ears from his hair to accentuate his adorable “bear-ness”.

My father worked in mining. Once he came back from the mountains with a huge Rhea (bird) egg (there are some in my country). Me ad my sister were so angry (we were 10 and 8 y.o.) we started screaming at him, because we thought the mother would be desperately looking for her lost egg. He felt guilty, so he put the egg in a box, with a lamp on it so it wouldn’t die. A week later it was born, we named him Guru, and it was the best pet I ever had.

When we were in college, my boyfriend moved into an apartment and the previous tenant had just taken off and left his stuff. So my bf was picking up the clothes out of the closet and there was a possum under there just snarling and baring its teeth at him. He said it was huge and terrifying. He got out of there and called animal control and when they came to get it, he saw it and it was just a little tiny baby. lol

Awesome hoodie!

Ok, so I hate spiders. Like really hate. One year, at the youth camp I volunteer at, one of my campers got my attention, pointed and said “there’s a spider”! I looked where they were pointing and on the window there was this huge wolf spider. I’m talking softball-circumference sized! I stood there paralyzed, only able to repeat in my head, “It’s on the outside…It’s on the outside…It’s on the outside…” ;) Fortunately, someone much braver than myself decided to take it on. From inside, I watched her take her tennis show and whack the thing to then see (from my view looking out the window) her beating the ground about 3-5 more times. Die, spider, die! It’s a miracle I still go back to that camp…really…

I like fat animals.

….
and cheerleaders.

When I was young, my older brother would play a tape of hyena sounds while I slept to try and make me have hyena related nightmares!

This would be perfect for these gusty beach winds here on the coast of Maine!
Good bear story = I was solo camping in the beautiful Green Mountains of Vermont and slept more soundly then I normally do in my little tent. When I unzipped my tent in the morning a large bear doo-doo was perfectly placed right next to the door. Maybe they were returning the favor?

I accidentally let our bird out of the cage once. It took me like 5 minutes to get him back in his cage.

Hey, I haven’t read the other stories so this probably isn’t the best one, but I’ll share it anyway, since the animal in question, a female cat, was really special to me.

I live in Lisbon, Portugal. When I was four years old, my parents brought home a very feisty siamese kitten for me and my brothers to take care of and learn how to be responsible. Each member of the family gave her a name, so she was called Gata Farrusca Fofinha Chabarneca Chanfrada, which is portuguese for Fluffy Crazy Wierdo Black-nosed Cat! Yeah she was REALLY crazy! She used to run super-fast all over the house, like she was possessed by some kind of alien-deamon, and she would run through all those places where my parents kept their expensive tableware, and wine glasses, and sculptures. And the girl never broke a thing.

We used to play with her all the time, and my older brother was specially annoying to her: he would scare her all the time, chase fer, tease her with a string or a feather, and he would hold her under his arm and throw her onto his bed, making her do double and sometimes triple-backflips. She always landed ok, and she never got aggressive with us, but she’d run like hell from him everytime he got those “crazy eyes” when he was looking at her.

When my brother got home from school, the first thig he would always do was to go to our room, close the door, lie on his bed (which was right next to the door) and take a little nap, while I was on the computer. Everyday. One day he was really tired, and like usual he got home and went to his room and went straight to his bed. What he didn’t notice was that our cat was creeping on top of a high shelf unit, waiting. Just creeping and waiting for my brother to fall asleep. She was patient and like a ninja-cat she was very quiet and well-hiden, with super-sharp atention to everything in that room. Then, when it seemed that my brother had fallen asleep, she slowly and quietly got up and - WOW!!! (I watched ALL this happen because my computer was facing the door)- she leaped to the top of the door that my brother forgot to close, making the door move slightly more open, but just enough for the door to be closer to the bed!! She rode the door and then, without any hesitation that I was aware of, she JUMPED like a ninja-guerrila-cat onto my brothers face, and pretended she was biting him in the cheeks and nose!!

He was REALLY scared, but my cat didn’t hurt him for real, she was just teaching him a lesson. After that, my brother was protected our cat, and respected her. We all mourned her death, last week, after 19 years and 8 months of happy-living in my parents’ house, my old home. She was really old (almost one-hundred), and she died calmly while being fed with the help of an IV. I trully believe she lived a happy life. And we did too, with her.

(sorry this was really long, though I kinda needed it.)

just realised my office story is also an animal story. two birds, one stone and all that. here it is.

once upon a time a dog got into our office. a small jack russell type dog. the place went nuts, everyone lost the plot. all of us from the second floor ran down to see it. it could not be caught. had to be chased towards the open door in the end. after several attempts it finally ran out the door into the lobby.

then the security guard jumped on it and shocked it with his stun-gun. that last bit didnt actually happen

This is sooo RAD! I used to have something like this a long time ago. The best part was it was thick enough that when I would play with my girlfriends cat its claws wouldn’t scratch. The cat was crazy for it. Lots of fun. I miss that cat. I would love to win this contest.

I’ve got perfect animal story..so yesterday I was in the zoo. I entered the hall with snakes just in feeding time. While someone from zoo staff was feeding quite small snake I saw that some of his food is running out. It was a little rat female wich I caught. Amazingly noone saw me..So I saved this little white pet rat live…Now she’s sitting in hers cage and eating delicacies

Me: OMG! Dave! DAVE!

You: Oh man! Jeeezus! WTF!

Me: DAVE! I think he’s dead, man.

You: No—he can’t be.

Me: Yeah, you freakin’ killed him.

You: Oh man oh man oh man. What did I DO?!

Me: It’s not your fault. You couldn’t have known.

You: Oh man oh man

Me: What the hell?! Why was DAVE going through your trash dressed like a freakin’ BEAR?!

This is a little sick, but…

As a senior in High School, I lived with my Aunt and thought it would be a great idea to volunteer to watch her dogs so she could go out of town for New Years Eve! Naturally, I had my boyfriend over along with some of my closest friends.

After ringing in the New Years ‘senior style’, I sent everyone home-except my boyfriend ;) Next day: Cleaned up the house, fed the dogs, took a shower, etc. All went as planned! When they arrived, they were happy about everything. The new year was off to a great start until I heard the weirdest/loudest cry. It was my Aunt-she was letting the dogs out and noticed one wouldn’t come out, because he was having a hay-day in the bathroom. He got into the trash and was chewing on used condoms. My Aunt had to pull them out of the dogs mouth and when she realized what she was pulling out, freaked! Ugh, very humiliating situation for an 18 year old :[

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! very cute!!!! I love the detachable ears and horns. I love the fuzziness. I love the patches. I love the pockets galore!!!! I just love it all! ^_^

This is Awesome!

Once I got attacked by a flock of angry pigeons on a park bench, on a date. It was terrifying, and, naturally, I didn’t get a second date with the girl.

Zuma beach , California. It was mid-winter and the water temp was in the low to mid-fifties. The wave height was shoulder to a foot-or-two overhead. the sky was gray and since the water was glassy, the matched the color of the sky.

I surfing with Bryan L. and Scott B.. It was a long lull between sets and I happened to look down at my reflection to my right and I saw a gray streak swimming towards at great speed and it had a dorsal fin.

Without thinking I just lunged with all fours onto my board. My two friends who were to the right and left me saw this and looked confused.

When the streak passed I calmed down immediately for I saw it’s tail and realized it was a dolphin and not a shark.

I said, “You not going to believe what I thought I saw.” The reaction was confused. Bryan, the guy to the right of me fell off his board in horror. He has an irrational fear of Sharks since seeing Jaws when he was 8-years old. I turned behind me to see what he saw and there was the dolphin’s dorsal fin mere feet from me. My other friend, friend cringed into a ball and I just laughed at both of them.

Now note this: Pacific coast dolphins don’t look cute. They look hydro dynamic, well designed, and they look formidable. The so called smile does not look like a smile, it looks like a design option for less coefficient drag. That dolphin could kick Flipper’s ass. He was a foot or two longer as well. There was nothing Disney or cute about it, it took 200-million years to come up wih that design and he practically owned the food chain. The only thing in the ocean that could kick that homeboy’s ass was an Ocra.

That hoodie is the best! I need that for the colder temps ahead.

Animal/adventure story, hmmm, I could tell you the story of back in Michigan, driving up to my cabin on I75 and I saw a 18 wheeler hit a deer that jumped out in front of it. I will never forget that sight: a full grown deer explode like a water balloon. No joke, like it wasn’t even there a second before it happened. I mean, yeah. very sad for the deer, but he never knew what happened, which is better; right?

And its not like I’m weird and was happy or anything but it beat out any Science class I had in school. It was pretty interesting to have experienced that, not many people do. Well that’s an animal story and it was an adventure: Amazing and scary.

Well, thanks for reading & I hope I get the jacket!

my boyfriend is totally into bears. maybe winning this would persuade him to put off that bear tattoo.

When I was 6 I had a little white rabbit (thumper, after bambi) and I loved him, but did not care enough for him my mother thought, she was doing all the cleaning, so he had to go. My grandfather came by to fetch him two days before christmas. Then on christmas day, come dinnertime, surprise, my mother had cooked a rabbit. Needless to say me and my sister didn’t eat a bite and were mad the whole time, regardless of my parents insisting it was “another rabbit”. What were they thinking?

Polar bears have furred feet. This provides traction on the slippery ice which surrounds them. However, on a trip to Alaska, I encountered a polar bear that lacked this important adaptive feature.

I traveled to a remote area of the Alaskan wilderness, enjoying the serenity and loneliness. I was so alone, in fact, that I began to realize my newfound longing to do things that I would not normally do back home, as there was nobody to judge or question me. I found a shoe and took a shit in it.

Soon, I encountered a cabin; it was a proverbial stain on the beautiful wilderness; it didn’t belong, like my shit didn’t belong in the shoe. As I approached the secluded, seemingly abandoned cabin, I began to hear a truly pathetic whimper. It sounded like a high-pitched fart that results from the high pressure of vacuum-sealed butt-cheeks. A slow, monotonous pitch tarnishing my silent trek.

I looked into the cabin window and saw the source of the noise. It was a polar bear, curled into the fetal position and in desperate need of a hug. I noticed that, in between bitching, the bear was chewing its paws. Raw paws, bloody and peeling. Poor bear. I walked through the open door, not completely sure about the bear’s attacking abilities. I tossed the used shoe at it; the bear did not appreciate the smell. Slowly, I approached the injured animal and noticed that the paws lacked hair, probably due to the bear’s constant gnawing. It was clear that the animal could not withstand the cold, slippery conditions outside the cabin. Luckily, I had a set of Norelco razors in my backpack.

I decided to take one for the team. I removed all the hair from my body, including the thick mesh from my pubic and ass regions. I then formed hair moccasins and epoxied them to the bear’s feet. The bear was quite cooperative, allowing me to wipe the blood off of its feet before I gave it the new shoes. I left, not knowing if the bear would survive.

A few days later, I awoke to a stench. My feet were extremely numb and needed warmth. I quickly stepped outside and slipped into my warm boots. I then wandered around trying to find the source of the smell. It seemed as if the smell was everywhere. Every step I took led to a more potent odor, yet I could not find the source. Soon I began to regain feeling in my feet. What’s that? My right foot felt like it was in a pumpkin pie. I removed my foot and found that someone or something had shit in my boot. It couldn’t have been a human…seriously, who would shit in my boot?

To this day I believe that polar bear came back and gave me a “thank-you” gift. A small token of appreciation for saving its life.

My boyfriend surprised me once by showing up at a bar wearing a reindeer costume. I had no idea that he dressed up as Rudolph for Toys for Tots during the holidays. This hoodie would be great so I can be like him and dress up like an animal. I don’t know how he does it because the reindeer suit was just too hot for me.

I often get mistaken for a bear on account of my extreme hairyness, please help me realise my dream of becoming manbearpig. I’m super serial.

My cat, Fetus, would love to snuggle with me in this hoodie. He ate a wild lizard whole the other day. Poor lizard.

My dog Jake, a weimaraner, like to chase lights. So to keep him entertained we sometimes attach a laser pointer to his collar and let him chase it around the house. Works well to wear him out.

I live in a city, but for some reason I have several neighbors that have chickens and roosters. One would think that roosters crow when the sun comes up, but these annoying creatures crow periodically throughout the day. The most disturbing crows occur when I’ve just fallen asleep.

Hey… None of my hilarious and prize-winning comments are showing up. Please consider this my “safety” entry. xxxooo

One time for Halloween I dressed up as a moose. Moosen definately get the best candy.

Great hoodie - my dog Lloyd has given me nothing but crazy stories for the first 6 years of his life so far…take your pick from me accidentally picking a dead mouse out of his mouth, or him jumping out of my kitchen window, or stealing an enormous cooked chicken breast off of the counter and practically swallowing it whole in 2 seconds, or pooping in lake michigan with children wading in the water mere feet away from him, or eating 6 cans of cat food by chewing the metal cans until all of the food squished out, or getting physically stuck inside the plastic cover to the litter box (my personal fav, and yeah i’m still kicking myself for not having a camera ready). He’s still the best, I don’t care what anybody says about him.

thru the grapevine, my gal pal heard about this tiny tiny tiny boxer pup who was being neglected, tied to a tree for 16 hours a day on a three foot rope, and sleeping in a beat-up paper box. so she and a co-conspirator picked me up from yoga class and we “rescued him.” right now, (two months later), he is sleeping beside my desk in his little bed, snoring like a freight train.

My animal story is from a long time ago. I was in the boy scouts and we were working on an igloo made out of the huge pile of snow that the road plows stack on the side of the road. I live in Vermont, so please don’t picture 15 little kids digging into a mushy brown pile of salty snow, i assure you it was clean enough to eat. Anyway after we had dug the inside of the igloo out through a small tunnel in the front one of the larger boys in our troup started to squirm out of the hole. On his way out he got stuck in the hole with his head and arms outside the igloo and the rest of his body inside. The scoutmasters and his son owned a very large golden retriever who was about 1 and a half at the time who had a small problem with leg humping. Upon seeing the strapped scout in the igloo, the retriever ran over to him and started doing the deed. Unfortunatly for the trapped scout we were all laughing way to hard, including our scoutmasters, to help him. Eventually the dog was pulled away. But that unlucky scout was never seen at another meeting after that.

One day Anastasia was playing in her back yard when she heard something in the bushes and it sounded like crying. She went to the bushes and pulled back the branches. There was a little bunny.

“Whats wrong little bunny?” she asked.

“I was playing and I got lost. Now I can’t find my mommy and I’m scared”, the baby bunny said.

“Poor little bunny, its okay I’ll help you find your mommy. But its too late to go looking for your mommy tonight.”

“But I’m so scared and I’m hungry”, cried the little bunny.

“Its okay, you can stay with me tonight and I’ll give you a carrot to eat”, said Anastasia

“Oh thank you so much. Can we go look for my mommy when we wake up?”, asked the little bunny.

“Of course we can”, Anastasia said.

Anastasia took the little bunny into the kitchen and asked her mommy for a carrot. Her mommy gave the little bunny a carrot and found an old shoe box for the little bunny to sleep in.

Anastasia took the little bunny and the shoe box in here room. She sat the little bunny on her bed while she found a small, pink blanket to put in the shoe box.

“Here you go little bunny. Now you have somewhere soft to sleep”, said Anastasia

“Thank you so much, its very pretty”, said the little bunny.

Anastasia tucked in the little bunny and climbed into bed.

“Good night little bunny.”

“Good night”, the little bunny answered.

The next morning when Anastasia and the little bunny awoke they looked out the window and saw that it was bright and sunny outside. They went to the kitchen where Anastasia’s daddy made breakfast for them. After they ate Anastasia and the little bunny set of to find the little bunny’s mommy.

They walked through the bushes and across the creek where they saw a blue bird.

“What are you doing?” asked the blue bird.

“We are looking for little bunny’s mommy, replied Anastasia.

“Well I just saw a mommy rabit looking for her little bunny”, said the blue bird.

“Can you tell me where you saw her?” asked the little bunny.

“Just over the hill ahead”, answered the blue bird.

” Thank you!” shouted Anastasia as they ran towards the hill ahead.

Anastasia and the little bunny climbed up to the top of the hill. When they got to the top of the hill they looked down into the valley to see if they could find little bunny’s mommy.

“I see her! I see her!” shouted the little bunny.

“Is that you little bunny?”

“Oh mommy I missed you so much and I was so scared. I’ll never get lost again mommy, I promise”, said the little bunny.

“Thank you so much for bringing back my little bunny”, the mommy rabit said to Anastasia.

“Your welcome”, replied Anastasia.

“I will come see you real soon Anastasia”, said the little bunny.

“Okay, I’ll watch for you”, said Anastasia.

And the next day and every day after that the little bunny went back to play with Anastasia.

animal story…hmmm…well the only recent animal story I can think of involves my bosses cat. One afternoon I saw her drinking an exceptionally large cup of espresso and ask why she was so sleepy. She said she had been at the animal emergency room all night with her oldest male cat (see has several cats) I joked about how expensive that must have been and she told me that one time the same cat had stayed in the hospital for 17 days. In my head i am thinking this lady crazy, just let it go. Turns out joke was on me, the next day she came in and asked if I would adopt this cat because he couldn’t be around other cats anymore.

One time my mini-schnauzer dog Herbie was limping for a few days. We couldn’t figure out why he was limping so we took him to the vet. The vet looked at his leg, felt it and couldn’t see why he was limping either. We walk outside the vets office and Herbie begins running around without the limp.

We think he was faking the limp to get some extra attention!!

a friend of mine once made a sweater just like this one not too long ago. our church went to a picnic once and chris had his sweater and brown pants. when he was nappin, people thought he was a bear forreal. we threw rocks at him.

hmmm i have powpow he’s a mini dog coloured like a panda.
he keeps me happy but he often goes off on trips abroad to purchase oddbits
at fleamarkets.

getting such a jacket i can look more like him … but brown and it could also serve as a sleeping bag

thank u! + ting!

well this is really related to bears. first off bears are scary. and on another note, their pretty damn cool, and cute.

well one time i was backpacking in the northwest, and i came around the corner on a trail. i look up and there in front of me is a black bear. well i freaked out and it freaked out and we ran away in opposite directions.

Then i look back and see the bear is running after me. downhill. which makes it faster. well i found a boulder, and climbed up, and stayed there for a few hours. bears tend to like to stay and see what happens. luckily there was enough light get to camp, 7 miles away.

so in a sense i like bears, but if i had this apparel, maybe, just maybe i won’t be chased.

Person 1: Look! A bear! Cool!
Person 2: Wheeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrgggggggggggggg…
Person 1: F****** s***!

It just reminds me of my fish :( Unfortunately, they were killed by my 5 year old brother ‘accidentally’ as he thought the aquarium on the small desk was a closestool and….. he pissed into it.

I had a mutt of a dog when I was a boy who would impregnate all other dogs in the neighborhood, chase cats up trees, bring me dead moles and rats and place them at my feet during Saturday morning cartoons, get muddy, muzzle bloody, and was by far the manliest most adventuresome dog ever…His name was Rastis and he will live forever in my heart

I grew up with a wonderful creature named Bully. Bully was a siamese cat rescued by my dad. Bully had two broken back legs when my father took him in. He was just a kitten. This was supposedly because the dog his former owners had jumped on him when they were playing- but the story was questionable. Anyhoo- Mr. Bully dragged himself around with his front legs for quite a while until he healed. This made him a super-turbo big body builder cat when he grew up. He looked a bit like a feline pit bull. Bully’s favorite game was “The Claw”. All you had to do was look at him from across the room and say “Bully- The Claw!”, and make a claw with your hand. That cat would leap through the air and attach himself to your arm and bite and bicycle-kick. (Ok, it was more fun for him than us.) Our neighbor’s Doberman used to wander into our yard and Bully would leap down from a tree and attach himself to the dog’s back with his nasty claws and ride that dog like a bronco while he yelped and ran circles around the house. I loved that cat.

kawaii desu ne!

i come from Québec, where legends of aventure have been around for years & years. There’s a very popular folktale that goes by the name of “La Chasse Gallerie,” which, loosely translated, means The Flying Canoe … Here it is, in a very short version :

Long ago, up north near Gatineau, it was New Year’s Eve. It had been a difficult winter for the lonely lumberjacks working at the “chantier.” They worked hard, but they were lonely for the women they had left behind.

On New Year’s Day, it snowed so hard that no work could be done. The men huddled in their camp and spoke longingly of their home. Suddenly, Baptiste Durand said what they were all thinking. “I wanna go see my girl in Lavaltrie.”

They all thought he was crazy. It would take them more than a month to get there by horse-drawn sleigh.

But Baptiste said they would go by flying canoe. They’d all be back the next morning but to do so, they had to make a pact with the devil. While in the chasse-gallerie, Baptiste and his companions could not say the name of God or fly over a church or touch any crosses, or the canoe would crash and their souls would be damned forever.

The men got into the bark canoe and said the magic words : Acabris ! Acabras ! Acabram !

The canoe rose into the air and the men began to paddle their way through the sky to Lavaltrie. Soon they began to see the lights from the village. The womenfolk where so glad to see them ! They celebrated long into the night, drinking and dancing. It was close to dawn when the men realized they had to return to the lumber camp by dawn or forfeit their souls.

The men got back into the canoe, but a whole slew of them were pretty drunk, including Baptiste. They bundled him into the canoe and spoke the magic words and paddled away. Knowing that Baptiste would start swearing if they woke him, one of the men tied him up and gagged him so he would not speak the name of God at an inopportune moment and crash the canoe.

When Baptiste awoke, he sat up, struggling with the ropes that bound him. He managed to loosen the gag, and shouted: “Mon Dieu, why have you tied me up?”

At the name of God, the canoe took a nose-dive, plunging towards the ground. It hit the top of a large pine tree and all the men tumbled out and fell down, down into the darkness just before dawn.

And they were never seen again.

I wish I had had a furry bear fleece like this when out taking photos of grizzly bears on Knight Inlet, B.C. a couple years ago. it was pretty cold and I needed some more laters of warmth.

But enough of that, bears are awesome and very hungry in late September.
http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y254/ssk77077/bc_trip_2006/bearlastbite.jpg
http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y254/ssk77077/bc_trip_2006/bearwalk.jpg
http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y254/ssk77077/bc_trip_2006/bearswimminghole.jpg

When I was living in Santa Barbara ten years ago, I had an interesting run-in with a “cute” woodland creature turned University trash-digger, aka a raccoon. I was standing outside my apartment complex waiting for a friend to stop by at around 9pm. I’m just standing on the edge of a planter (whose nasty foliage was overgrown and uncared for) when I hear a rustling a few feet away. I look and I see a raccoon walking out from the shrubbery onto the edge of the planter with his nose pressed hard against the old wooden surface sniffing away in the dark. Of course, he was heading perfectly in my direction. I make noise and start to move, assuming it will hear and/or see me and turn away. Nope. He inches closer. I get louder and try to bounce so he’ll feel that there’s a large creature in his path and turn away. Nope. By the time he’s a foot away I figure I shouldn’t make any dramatic, sudden moves so he doesn’t freak out and rip me to shreds; maybe he’ll just walk on by. He comes all the way to my foot, presses his nose hard against it—no really, it was hard enough that I felt the pressure—and sniffs. He looks up immediately and hisses. Crap! He stares…frozen for a good thirty seconds. I’m thinking, “I’m toast…I wonder if I have to go to the ER for a rabies shot right away or if it can wait til the morning.” Perhaps realizing my size, the raccoon turned tail and darted away.

Things I learned: (1) Raccoons truly are blind. (2) Raccoons are apparently deaf and insensitive to bouncing wooden planters. (3) The stench of my feet are offensive. (4) The raccoon couldn’t smell that I was Vegan at the time and hadn’t harmed an animal for nearly four years to that day. (Or maybe he did and that’s why he split.)

I have an orange dog and a scooter- i need this so we can match when cruising down the city streets ;-)

I would just like to say please, and thank you!

I need this so I can get camoflaged when I’m at my campsite. Silly squirrels aren’t fond of my tent when it covered their cache. Started throwing twigs and pinecones down on us out of frustration. Silly thing actually got my butt when I was zipping the door shut.

Too much fun to have furry ears in the woods!

The last time something covered my head, it was a gorilla suit in December. We had house party, and I hit on the side of the road, jumping out @ vehicles going down the side street. It was clearly not a good idea, but given the mental dysfunction at the time, was brilliant.

Wow—-I would like to get this for my son—-he just finished his CJ degree—did an internship with a local PD in a small town—had to rotate through all the departments including animal control!! We live in a rural area so he ended up chasing a bear in the city with a catch pole—he even got his picture in the local newspaper. People at his college could not believe he and the bear got out of this alive. They even called him bear for a little while ,he is 24 years old. He would love the Rocket World Shag Master Creature Hoodie because he is also a gamer and hangs out with a lot of interesting people.

This summer I adopted a small kitten from a shelter who was super tiny and underfed and weak, but had a sparkle in her eyes, so I took her home. Now she’d a big, healthy, lovable cat who runs through the house from end to end, chasing invisible creatures and hunting yarn. Her official name is Adie, but both my boyfriend and I call her Bear because she’ll look at you with her mouth half open and try to meow at you, and it only comes out as a little squeak, but she looks like she’s trying to be super-ferocious.

I was on vacation with my girlfriend and her family at a summer house in the outer banks of North Carolina. It was dark outside and we were just hanging out on the porch. My girlfriend heard a whimpering dog in the distance.

It looked like the dog had been lost on the beach for a couple of hours, since the doggy had been panting the whole time until it found its way toward us. It immediately started drinking the water out of our empty cooler.

My girlfriend was moving closer to the lost, tired, and scared dog, when it started to pace back and forth on the porch. Peeing and pacing. I had never seen anything like that. I wish I could walk and pee at the same time with out getting any urine on me. Maybe I can. I never tried.

So we had a cat we swore was half rabbit when we first got her. She would bound around the house so fast, you’d hear a squeaking noise coming from the pads on her feet as she tried to stop or turn. She calmed down as she got older, but we never forgot those silly moments.

In the fourth grade, I went with my class on a field trip to the San Francisco Zoo. As we passed the elephant enclosure, one of the elephants decided it was the perfect time to relieve itself… one of the ummm… male elephants… Let’s just say that I considered it a pretty damned educational trip. Also, there were bears, but they were too lazy doing what that guy is doing in the second photo.

i was camping with my parents when i was about 6. we were staying in our RV and were sleeping for the night. i was getting cold in my bed, so i decided to crawl in with my parents. the shuffling woke my mom up and she reached over and felt the hair on my head. she leaned over to my dad and whispered urgently, “ben, it’s a bear!”

if i win the hoodie, i can do an even better job of bear-scaring!

I learned not to run from dogs at a very young age. When I was about 6 or 7 years old my neighbors huge dog was running down the street. I started running and next thing you know the dog starts chasing me. It was just about to bite my ass until I climbed over my fence.

Once, my lab/shepherd mix figured out he could scale his outdoor kennel to escape. He then chased my cat up a tree. My cat climbed up to the top (at least 3 stories) and wouldn’t come down, so my father decided to start cutting down the tree with a chainsaw while my mother and sister held an inflatable raft underneath in case the cat fell. (Yes, my family is a little crazy). The tree fell into another tree, which my cat proceeded to climb into even HIGHER. She did not come down for four days. While she was in the tree, we watched her through binoculars eating leaves.

A few years ago, I went on a spontaneous, two-and-a-half-month, cross-country road trip with my best friend. It was totally amazing, and totally chaotic. While in Yosemite National Park, we decided to hike Half Dome. It was spur of the moment, and we didn’t really prepare, but we did have a few Cliff bars and some Spaghetti-Os, and thought we’d be just fine. Needless to say, after 9 miles straight up and a night on the ground, we were exhausted. Of course, the top of Half Dome is a giant rock that you must scramble up, clinging to little metal cables for dear life. I decided to use my last Cliff bar as motivation for completing the ascent. We left our packs at the bottom of the cables and went up. Fantastic! One of the greatest things I’ve ever done. We admired the view from the top, spoke to a few fellow climbers, and then descended (which was even scarier than going up). As I reached the bottom of the cables, I triumphantly turned to my pack, ready to enjoy my celebratory snack… only to see a small hole in the canvas, several feet from which was crouched a happy chipmunk with a lot of crumbs and a guilty look on his face…wearing a Cliff bar wrapper as a cape.

there was something in the road. like a deer in head lights but with a glow patch. it wasn’t a bear, but maybe. i slammed on my breaks and threw my open can of green soda out the window. i was trying to scare the poor thing. bears don’t have horns do they?

Notcot,

This is what I have been waiting for. Look here :

http://www.sandycarson.com/index.php?content=displaycontent§ion=search§ion_type=StaticPage&keywords=Dark%20Maze

[ you have to click on the thumbnail ]

I broke both my legs skydiving and for months I had that metal thing sticking out of my leg so one day I thought to myself : “this wouldn’t be so bad if i was a bear playing the mandolin. Bears can bear anything. ” — so there you go.

i am a lot better now and things are just right, but bears have a special place in my life. i could definitely use that hoodie here, and my two little cubs would love it too !

hoping to hear from you,

K

That hoodie looks so warm. I’ll be needing one of those this winter! All of my other hoodies are falling apart.

The most interesting thing about this entire product is that I never go on any “adventures” without first dressing myself from head to toe as some sort of animal (usually a vole or marmoset). That’s how Mom did it and that’s how I do it.

I freakin love this thing.

Actually, my favourite animal story is of a friend of mine back in school. Well not her, but her parrot.

Her parr…pardon, parents, got a little green parrot that the pet shop guy said would learn to speak. Well speak he never did, but he was most ingenious in reproducing the sound of the toilet flushing (his cage was next to the bathroom door) – to the point where it got really freaky when we knew nobody was home, but the toilet was obviously flushing. How this small bird made this amazing sound is still beyond me.

So, full of awe for this little bird, one time when I was invited over there I bought some fun looking bird food for him – little wooden sticks covered with honey nuts. Well he took the things in his claw, peeled off all the nuts within 2 seconds until they were all scattered on the floor of his cage, & then chewed on the wood for the rest of the day.
Well he seemed happy, and the toilet didn’t flush that day.

this. is. adorable.
i wish i had an animal story worthy of winning.

When I was a boy, we used to have a week-end home near a farm. I grew up with the farm boys and quickly got used to manual work in the stables, the woods and also to hunting. One day a larger group of hunters was invited for duck hunting. I was with one of the hunters hiding behind a wooden shield to protect me and my fellow from shots in our direction. When dawn progressed the ducks came and sat on the lake. After a while one of the hunters shot in the air one time to chase the ducks, so they would fly off and be shot when trying to escape. One of the hunters was a very old aristocrat who had appearantly fallen asleep and when he awoke from the shooting, he just started firing away in our direction. So my fellow and I stayed low and hoped our shield would hold up, which it did. It was still quite scary to listen to the pellets hitting the wood just in front of us like steel rain. However sometime the shooting stopped. When we slowly got up, I heard a sound behind me and turned around. Just a few steps away stood a roe deer with it’s fawn blankly staring at us for a second before dashing into the woods. That short moment with the sparkle in those moonlit eyes, the four of us were comrades, just enjoying having survived.

A couple of years ago I was house sitting for my parents and heard a strange tapping noise outside in the driveway. I looked out the window to see what was making the noise to find a guinea fowl pecking at it’s reflection in the neighbours ground floor window. It seems really upset that the other guinea fowl wouldn’t leave and was puffing itself up more and more. Eventually it gave up and walked away.

A friend of mine had a tiny wee Yorkshire Terrier puppy that he called Lucky. He used to write the numbers 1 to 45 on scraps of paper and then put them in a pile on the floor. He’d put Lucky in the middle of the pile and she’d go nuts scrabbling about until she picked a number and brought it over to him. He won £1000 once. Aptly named, that dog.

i was almost mauled by a cow once. watsonville, ca. not pretty. who knew those things could be so vicious.

Due to terrific wether here in Sweden, we got about 40cm of beautiful white snow, every day out is an adveture for my little 1 year old girl.
But her father ( who is a geek by the way ) have no good cloting for this nice weater, and to dress up like a bear might increase my geek status..

I live in Hong Kong. We do not have bears in Hong Kong. Let me be the only bear in Hong Kong.

There once was a man from Nantucket,
who had stolen the LOLrus’ bucket,
as the man fled the scene,
the LOLrus he screamed,
“stop him, he’s stolen mah bucket, he’s mean!”
A friendly bear stopped the man when he had heard the LOLrus’ cries,
“that’s not his bucket,” the man replied, “the LOLrus, he lies!”
The bear became quickly unfriendly and skinned the man alive.

So let this be a lesson to all who seek a bucket to steal,
make sure there are no bears around that may make you his meal!

I had a cat, a cat called Levis (custom made collar, made from the pocket and orange tab levi tag)… he was a special cat. My cat could talk…Seriously!! Every saturday afternoon when i came in from the butchers, he’d stride up to the fridge and sit there making a sound..that sound or word was “HAM”
Without fail he’d be there as soon as i got home already waiting for me. It’s just a shame that he ran away when my ex became pregnant! I never figured out why…

by far the coolest hoodie i’ve ever laid eyes on

I’m stationed in Antarctica and off continent I always get asked about polar bears…Antarctica MEANS no bears; we don’t have polar bears, not a single one. Penguins, whales, and seals yes, but no bears. That being said it would be pretty cool to have a bear hoodie to keep me warm out here.

I’ve had the same winter coat for three years. This looks very warm, and it has cute little ears.

on my 7th birthday i chased a baby raccoon down the street and up a tree, when w made eye contact with both fell out of the tree and ran opposite ways, i cried but i dont think the raccoon did.

(*read with an english accent - it’s more fun that way*)

Once upon a time there were three bears. They lived a happy life frolicking through the woods & eating berries all day. Then one day a small girl with golden girls came and poisoned them with evil berries because she was envious of their luscious coats. Once they had drifted off she skinned them to try on their beautiful skin, only to find that the first was too big, the second was too gooey..but ahh - the third, that of the baby bear was just right. The girl with the golden curls cackled with an evil gleam in her eye because she new she had the most awesome bear coat in all of the land.

But No!! the little girl suddenly awoke to find this had all been a dream, and she did not in fact possess the most awesome bear coat in all of the land. Whatever will she do?

I just saw the most heart-breaking video with Spanish sub-titles about a Beagle that was adopted by a duck. The duck unfortunately passed away so the owners had it stuffed so the dog could play with what used to be his best friend. By “play” they meant “dragging a duck corpse through a field”. Nice owners. My story? I have a really cute adopted best-friend puppy named Raleigh, who I love, and would hug while wearing that super fuzzy jacket. And if I die I promise I will never have myself stuffed and make my wife drag me by a rope and traumatize our dog.

Well I was camping in the Kalahari and a pride of lions spent the night playing in our campsite - very scary - if I had one of those hoodies I could scare them right back

I have a mixed Rottweiler named Pepper. She loves chasing cats for the sake of chasing cats, but would never ever harm one (or anything at all really). If a cat in pursuit would stop in his/her tracks, Pepper would stop as well and just sit down in front of the cat, occasionally barking at it hoping it would continue to run. One day i heard her outside the house barking. Upon investigating, i found Pepper sitting in front of a little white kitten who was too scared to run. I got Pepper to go inside the house and went back to the kitten, who started following me. I tried to walk about the neighborhood, looking for where he came from but to no avail. Still following me, i decided to adopt him (much to the annoyance of my dog)… and that is the story of how my dog, indirectly adopted a cat into the family.

OMG, Joe that’s so sad about Scuffy! We had a similar incident, my brother was 10 when he descovered our dog had tried to leap the fence while leashed, and hung himself. He was always a pretty stupid dock though. He ran into trees regularly.

My mom bought two Russian dwarf hamsters for my sister when she was in high school. They multiplied ot about 2 dozen (they must be very fertile!) When she got sick of them, she gave them to my youngest brothers (aged 5 and 8 at the time). Mauricio, the 5 year old disappeared one afternoon. We discovered him on the balcony, throwing the hamsters off the 20 foot drop! When we asked him why he would do such a thing, he simply said “piggy fly!”

Thinking about it now makes me laugh so hard.

I LOVE animal ears. I made myself a panda beanie as part of a panda halloween costume this year, and I am a little obsessed with wearing large fuzzy jackets (I have one big fleece that’s called my bear’s cave. seriously). This would be amazing to wear to class when it’s cold and gloomy.

My school is located at a city with the highest deer population. They have no natural predators and they are protected by laws to prevent illegal shooting. Nothing stops them from eating tree saplings and flowers in the school’s preserve. My environmental studies teacher hates them and rants about how they are destroying the forests and pretty soon, there will be no new trees to replace the old ones. I’m also sure that he despises them for another reason; they eat his kale and carrots that he grows in his back yard. How do they thank him? They scatter pellets all over his backyard.

As the semester slowly comes to a end, the money in most students’ meal plans quickly disappears. My friends and I sometimes joke that we should go out deer hunting when we run out of money. Not only are we helping the environment, but we are helping our starving tummies. Of course, it’s all a joke or so they think.

If I get this jacket, I can disguise myself as a bear, grab myself some venison and run the hell out before anyone sees me. Consider this as a friendly gesture for a poor, starving college student!

True story. While on a mission trip in the bush of Tanzania… we were being shown a hippo pond which if I may say it was pretty HIP. Well I decided I venture around the whole thing. As I walked the waters edge (looking out over the hippo’s) I came face to face with a HUGE croc!!!!! I was standing just a few steps from its mouth. He scared me away… but maybe with this… I would have scared him. If you’d like to see the pic I took before I ran… let me know.

So for over 12 years I have worked with kids and adults with disabilities, until just this past spring the government did some “redistribution of funds” and closed down the group home I worked at. Feeling like I needed to try something completely different, I ran away with the circus. Yes the Circus! A fire performance, stilt walking, juggling, theater acts, crazy circus that travels to festivals all over the Western USA and Canada. I was to be a performer and the official bus driver of a converted old school bus that was painted green and had horns mounted on the front(oh did the border guards love us.)

Well when one ventures into wild lands with many an interesting creature, fashion and comfort are of the utmost importance. So to keep me warm in the hours of the cold night. Whether I was in the deserts of Nevada, along the coast of California, in the sand dunes of Oregon or in the mountains of British Columbia, I had my trusty fuzzy purple “pimp style” jacket that I picked up from a neighborhood garage sale for 5 bucks.

Now this was no modern fashion but it fit in quite nicely with the likes of Burning Man peeps and Fairieworlds folk. And not only did it assist me in blending in with the temporary locals but it also kept me warm at night as a jacket or as a cozy sea of purple shag draped over me while I slept in the most bizarre of places.

Well, after traveling with up to 12 people and a wolf(yes a wolf) for over 3 months and having the jacket protect me from dust storms, hail, freezing temperatures, rain, patchouli covered hippies, dirt, etc, the jacket has acquired it’s fair share of wear and tear. Now it has many a stories buried within it’s threads and lining but sadly it has not much more than that left in it. It no longer has the ability to stay in one piece and to be honest it doesn’t really fit in with the local fashion (a.k.a the real world). On top of that, I live in a city where the winters get quite cold and so warm clothing such as the Rocket World Shag Master Creature Hoodie would be the perfect piece of awesomeness to keep me cozy in my post fuzzy purple jacket days.

I remember being a terrified 11 year-old boy with his first pet/cat. Norma Jean wasn’t very happy to be in my room that night, hissing at me from the floor as I lay under the covers of my bed. She made an attempt at scratching me as I tried to open the door to the room to let her out. Even kittens leave scars.

haha animals. i have three dogs living with me. i have few great experiences at various zoo. but the craziest animal is my buddy name junu ahn. he such an animal whenever he needs some loving. he wags his hands as if they were a tail while jumping up and down. he licks peoples faces with drooling bumpy toungues. to calm him down you just give him a kiss on his cheek, pet him a few times. he would calm down for good 20 minutes. PLEASE save my friend with this beautiful jacket. he will feel the true-self in this furry clothing i am sure and finally find his real identity as an animal.

My dog Jabber’s favorite stuffed companion was a toy lobster whom we named Duncan. Everywhere she went, Duncan was always by her side. Then one day, the fickle love between lobster and dog went awry. I came home from work to find Duncan in pieces. So, as tribute to Duncan the Lobster, Jabber’s best buddy, she was a lobster for Halloween.

http://www.andrewtrommer.com/gallery/v/angelaImages/Year+2008/Halloween2008/DSCN1402.JPG.html

My girlfriend has a cat by the name of Kurt who masturbates all the time. The worst part about it is, Kurt likes to stare as he’s doing the deed. It’s almost as if he’s thinking of you while he caresses his red crayon.

One time my girlfriend (name not to be disclosed) and I were doing the horizontal polka when I felt a constant movement of the bed, but it wasn’t coming from us. I look to the side and sure enough…, it’s Kurt. Now at this point my girlfriend (name not to be disclosed)was very very close to “releasing the weeks tension” so being the good boyfriend i am, i didn’t stop. in the end Kurt and my girlfriend (name not to be disclosed) came at the same time… creeeeeepy huh…

When I was a little girl, my cousin and I were walking down a street in nothern Maine, near Mt. Katahdin. The area was somewhat marshy and as we walked past a small pond and all of a sudden something HUGE rose from the water moving branches and water all over the place. Utterly convinced it was a bear, we took off running and screaming full speed down the road. We ran for what seemed like miles and turned around. It was a crane.

one day me and my best friend went on hiking.
and holyshiznit!! we saw a bear approaching. i was sooooooo scared and then i didnt know what to do!! then my friend was already up on the tree!
bastard! i tried to follow him but he kicked my face and i couldn’t.
so i had to pretend dead. and the bear came. started to sniff around my hair, my face and my ass.. (it felt a little ticklish but some what good)
so i kissed it back.
thats how i lost my nose.

i got a headache, i tink i need some bear aspirin!!!

i have alot of stories with animals, but i think the best one was stepping on a lobster and living to tell about it.

my dad’s a fishermen, and when he surfaced he put a lobster on the boat and my dog was interested in it, i was on the ladder and a big wave came by and knocked me off and i landed on the lobster with the flat sole of my foot. bloody and cut up.. i couldn’t swim for the rest of the day and was PISSED.

now i can’t really wiggle my toes because of the scar tissue.. now whenever i eat lobsters. I EAT WITH ANGER..GRR

Once I went to the zoo on a class trip. We were by the elephant area and all of a sudden people were like ‘duck!’. WAM! We were hit with elephant poop. Yey.

I can “bear”ly contain my excitement. I’m foaming at the mouth looking at it. And now I’m craving salmon…

This would go well to match with my black bear hoodie :)

I used to have a cockatiel who loved to sing to paper. Not to me, not to my parents, but to any kind of paper or magazine we’d put on her cage. She also used to hide under the newspaper that lined the bottom of her cage (when we would just change it, of course) and sing away to herself. She also used to mimic the microwave :)

I miss her.

If I won this gift, I would wear it and started hunting a human by starting from my friends and freak them out.

I was in South Africa, in a town called Hermanus. It was early morning, and some friends and I were nursing a wine tour hangover down on the rocky ocean shore. We were just joking around, getting our heads back on straight. For shits, I decided to shoot some footage of my Captain Haddock doll, of Tintin fame, that I purchased in Cape Town. He was perched on a rock, his back against the swelling tide of the Southern Atlantic/Indian Ocean. All was going swell (so lame, I know!) until, through the viewfinder, I witnessed our wooden pal being swallowed by the crashing surf. Stunned, I looked on in disbelief, the camera still rolling, as he began drift out to sea.
I did what any ice-loving Canadian would do and striped down to my gotch and dove in after our 10-inch, poorly-carved, African statue. The water was cold but nothing I hadn’t experienced going for a skinny dip or two during Canadian thanksgiving. The tide was strong however, and I had to power about 30 feet out to our floating friend.
After reaching him, I turned back to shore to see my gang waving their hands in the air. It seemed they were just as excited as I was that I had been succesful in my rescue effort. What I had forgotten, or what had slipped my mind, was that Hermanus is also a world-renowned whale watching launch point. For some reason, the souther right whales love to get freaky on the shores of Hermanus.
And so I turned around to see what all the fuss was about, and no more than another 30 feet out, two whales had just breached. Beautiful and terrifying. Two immense dark masses, gracefully boinking and bobbing in the cresting surf.
So I got the hell out of there. But I still have Haddock here to laugh about that one.

i had a Newfoundland/lab/Rottweiler mix as a child named smokey, when he was a year old he weighed well over 100lbs, he was a gentle giant. we would always visit with my aunt on her farm in Vermont. she had just bought a goat to keep back the weeds. smokey thought the goat was the best thing since ice cream, the goat didn’t… he started to ram into my dog knocking him over. smokey thought it was a great game, and they eventually began to face off like rams, butting heads, facing off backing up and ramming each other head to head, all the time barking and wagging his tail. that is, until about the seventh ramming, my dog kind of wobbled about dizzily, almost fell, and then thought better of messing around with that goat. After that he went back to harassing his less aggressive barnyard friends.

cute and aw.

i want to get a dog but cant because of my apartment. this sweater might make me feel beter!

One night in London, Ontario, around 2am, my boyfriend was driving me back to his place when we passed what we thought was a cat dragging something on a residential street. I made him go back to find out what it was & it turned out to be a skunk with a coffee cup stuck around its head, dragging its head along sideways down the road. So, being the animal lover I am, I had to save it. He parked, & I tried to get close to the skunk. It was scared & I didn’t want to get sprayed. Neither did my boyfriend, he never left the car except to toss me a towel. The neighbours started coming out of their houses to watch from afar. A police car drove by & questioned my boyfriend. He decided to sit & watch this all go down. I eventually got into position & grabbed the skunk under the towel which forced the cup off. It scrambled away without so much as a thank-you. But I felt like an idiot hero.

I spent a few months in Zimbabwe raising lions. Nope, not kidding. The lions were bred from captive lions, then raised by human families (ME) and taught to be wild and fierce lions. I worked with kitten sized cubs to great Dane sized lions! Best time of my life!

I’d met a hundreds of bears in my life.
And I married the most gentle bear among them :)
I’m living with him and a little cute bear now happily.

So remember drivers ed in highschool? Well my school didn’t offer the actual in car course and we had to seek it from a private company. Well as I was driving down the road(a particularly hilly, country, and dark road) on the last day the class I hit a cow. It was in the middle of the road after a turn and it was black. The car exploded, sadly the cow died, and I still got my license… The instructor said if he hadn’t seen it then he didn’t expect me to either.
I think the hoodie is amazing.

TAD gear rocks my socks!

Over the summer I went to Alaska for my vacation. Seeing the wildlife was definitely one of the highlights of the trip. My buddy Todd and I were driving around and exploring and we came across a park. In this park was a stream that went around the perimeter. We walked down to the stream and I saw my first wild Alaskan Salmon. In fact, I did not just see my first but also my second, third, fourth, and up to probably about 100. There were so many fish going through this stream we were able to reach in the water and catch them with our hands.

a few months ago, my cat woke me up by throwing a live mouse into my bed. i ended up chasing it into my closet, where it hid among my hundreds of shoes! i ended up having to take everything out of the closet and building a wall out of books to trap it. after much girly screaming on my part, my roommate finally caught it in a shoebox and we tossed it off the back porch. eek!

My friend would really like this. I wanted to get him the orginial, but they are impossible to find.

possums are the gnarly-est animals! i once had a possum make it’s way outside my apartment door. as we tried to pass by it bared it’s pointy teeth and HISSED! i mean, horrifying. i went out the back door the rest of the day. that possum owned me.

My dog is also my best friend. It’s cliche’ to say that but he really understands my emotions. Once when I came home from just a long day at work, I was just in such a bitter mood. As I kicked off my shoes to the side and sat down on my couch, my dog jumps up to my lap. Seeing the expression on my face, he quickly hopped down and randomly just started to run around in a circle, over and over. Each time he made a complete circle he would glance over his shoulder and look at me. After about a minute of watching him run around in circles I started laughing until I had tears in my eyes. As he made his final rotation, he jumped up on my lap again to see my expression. This time it was a smile and he stayed. I love my dog.

Perhaps I get this hoodie and run around with him next time. =)

It is cold in Seattle. I am from Florida…I need all the hoodies I can get.

when I was younger and I would go camping with my family. I would cross the river and explore the woods behind our tent, and pretend I was “surviving.”……..yes. that was my adventure story.

My friends and I were all enjoying a picnic at a lovely state park. There were some very cool old buildings there because it had once been an old hippie commune. My friend Lauren and I were wandering around and peeking inside a window of one of the abandoned buildings.

Then she started screaming and hopping about. I looked down and there was a raccoon wrapped around her ankle. She was kicking her leg trying to knock it off, and I swung my purse and hit if off with my purse. She ran while the raccoon was coming back for me. I knocked it away again with my purse and ran while it chased me.

We kept hitting it away and it kept coming back for us. We couldn’t believe how tough this guy was.

At one point it chased after a man on his cell phone, he hopped up on a picnic table while resuming his conversation. This raccoon was trying to kill him and he was still on his phone!

We called animal control and they came and got the raccoon. We had assumed it had rabies, but the animal control man said it was possible that it had a litter nearby and was protecting it’s babies. Either way, it had to be destroyed because of the attack. We felt so bad, we didn’t want it to be rabid, because it had scratched up my friend, but we certainly didn’t want to be responsible for the death of a mama raccoon.

Our mantra was “No Rabies, No Babies”

Turns out it had rabies, poor Lauren had to get a gazillion and one shots. And we were all left with a slight apprehension towards raccoons, cute and cuddly as they are.

GRRRRRRR…GRRRRRRRR…GRRRRRRRR…GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR…
It’s My bone.

This would be a perfect gift for my husband who has been after the elusive buck in the wood behind our house for the last 5 years!!

[true story alert]

So it’s November, it’s freezing.
At night, we’re in our arctic sleeping bags,
[out of place comnsidering
we’re just 2 hours north from
the Toronto]
obtained from DND for free,
but they stank of old men.

i just warmed up the bag to perfect
and they yell at us to wake up.
Some kind of capture the flag.
AT 1 IN THE MORNING.

i swear those kids are crazy.

After capture the flag,
we head back.
Nobody won,
but the stars were fcktastic.

And we’re walking, walking.
And i get yanked.
HOLY CRUDSICLES UHIUWHCGURFD
Literally kilometres away from everybody else,
and i’m scared fudgsicle-less.
The guy that grabbed me is
breathing hard but
i can’t scream
i can’t move
i can’t even walk.
Literally carried away.
i’m just a pack of marshmallows.

And then, the guy rasps out
SJAH FIND MY FLASHLIGHT.
and i almost piss myself
because it’s just Chan
blind, confused
Warrant Officer CHAN.
And he’s not even that good-looking.
Damn.
Completely anticlimactic.

woah. that would be the best christmas gift for my boyfriend…. part-time producer, director, shooter, emerging media genius… and part-time hippie, granola, kayaker, biker, hiker, adventure-seeker. it looks so warm and so un-assuming. i love it!

I will use this hoodie to finally capture and scare Stephen Colbert.

Animal adventures are the best kinds of adventures. My dad and I took this long hike on a deserted beach in New Zealand this fall (spring to them) and came across a baby seal chillin on a rock. He got scared and wiggled into the water, then followed us down the shoreline for a good 20 minutes. We named him cedrick.

i can’t think of any stories off the top of my head for me. However, my uncle was just up in northern Michigan hunting with my dad, and he said he saw a cougar out in the woods. Not the older lady looking to get somebody my age drunk have their way with kind of cougar, but the real rip you face off kind.

But if you think about it walking around out in the woods and you stumble across a field of cougars (the lady kind) seems like it could make for quite an interesting story.

My in-laws love camping and when they were younger they took their 4 very young kids backpacking in Yosemite. They didn’t have much money — they used garbage bags for rain ponchos — so they traveled cheap. The dad was the kind of guy that wouldn’t stop until it was, frequently, too dark to really set up camp. On one trip they finally found a dry level space after sunset to pitch their tents. Lots of drainage and not a lot of material to clear away. When they woke in the morning they found out they had pitched their tents in a clearing around a memorial for a woman that had been killed by a grizzly bear.

Chased By (possibly) Rabid Badgers:
A couple years ago I was riding my road bike through the wheat fields of rural Eastern Washington. I was lost in a podcast, and looked up to see a family of three badgers sitting on the side of the road.

I swore, then swerved to give them plenty of room. As I passed, they all hissed, then began to chase me. I was biking at about 15mph, but quickly accelerated. 18, 19, 20… it wasn’t until I hit about 25 that I began to outdistance the hissing wiesels.

After I put some distance between them and me, I stopped and began to inch back towards the ferocious beasts. They hissed and launched towards me. I turned back and pedaled away as quickly as I could.

That day, I was chased by badgers.

I’ve been to Iraq, I could have really used one of these things when we had stray animals on our base. I think it would have been the most helpful to scare our resident donkey. No one ever saw the donkey, but there would be donkey patties on the roads. It really wouldn’t have been that big of a problem, but when you only carry a small flashlight and walk around at night on dirt roads, they are hard to spot.

I used to chase crawfish in a creek by my house until they GOT ME and then I stopped.

/adventure

When I was in elementary school I took my dog for a walk. While on this walk another dog decided to greet us and try to attack my dog. I was very nervous and I slipped and fell on the asphalt, scraping up my entire leg. I was literally lying on the ground crying and scared that this dog was going to attack me. In the mean time a car drove by and just happened to stare, with people in the front and backseat,at me as if I was filming a movie or something. Then the really nice old man came out with a broom and beat the dog until he ran away. It was quite awful…

I’ve caught the fashion bug!
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There once was a bug from Manhattan
Whose homies would always be battin’
Because he pretends
To follow the trends
But truthfully only digs satin

…Bugs count as animals, right?

it was our first night in costa rica and we were really tired after a long day. just as we were trying to fall asleep, we heard this horrible sound…it was extremely loud and it seemed as if it was getting closer and closer. so we were all getting very scared, imagining all sorts of terrible monsters that were probably going to stampede our little log-cabin-room. I must admit that I was one of the people who was freaking out the most (I have an overactive imagination I guess). of course, the next day we found out that it was just howler monkeys.

Whats the URL: about? Do I need to be putting something in this section to win this bad ass hoody!? I want this!

nice jackets

You know some furry is going to win this.

We have mice in our basement. Now it’s important to note that in our basement is our storage room. We keep food down here, for example…pasta. One night we were going to have macaroni, whoever was sent downstairs to get it from the storage room came up with an empty bag. A mouse-sized hole was chewed into the bag, only a few pieces of macaroni remained in it. - We’ve been finding macaroni everythwere! Inside the container where my mum keeps her knittign needles we found macaroni. Inside a briefcase there was macaroni!

Apparently the mice were thinking ahead, storing food for the season I suppose..

I spent last summer in Monterey,California. Everynight I would walk along the shore and sit on the tall boulders watching the ocean waves, immersing myself in the sounds and smells. Occasionally I would hear a “click click click” and I would see sea otters floating on their backs trying to break open shells with rocks to get at the yumminess inside. They were the cutest things ever! One night I was on my usual walk when I saw an otter floating unusually close to the shore. I was exciting and even more so when it didn’t swim away at my coming. To my horror I realized that the otter was drowning. I pulled the otter on to the sea shore and tried to hold its head out of the water. I propped it up as best as I could on a rock and ran to my uncle. They called wilderness protection but still it took two hours for any help to arise. We were all in tears as we watched the helpless little sea otter. It died as the van pulled up to take it away. No one was able to muster a smile for the rest of the day.

I love the headphone port most of all! Practical and discreet as well.

I was 10. My father and I we were working in the flower beds behind the house. As I raked back the leaves, I uncovered a poisonous snake ready to strike. My father swiftly cut it in half with a shovel. The two ends of the snake wriggled a bit, then stopped. Pretty gross…and I still hate snakes.

this jacket is simply one step further to the inevitable future…. BEARSTRONAUTS!!!!

a few years ago i was on my way home from a major adventure to to shops. the entire trek went off without a hitch. the corner of the milk carton swung in the bag and poked a soft spot in my knee, but that was about it.

UNTIL i was steps away from the safety of home. while walking up to the door i felt some moisture in my right shoe. the heel to be precise. i glanced at my heel while opening the door but could not see anything to suggest there was a problem. once inside i checked the heel again, this time with the shoe off. what i found astonished me. the precision and stealth of the attack was so great that i only noticed some seconds after i had fallen victim.

a bird had dropped a bomb. it had landed in the tiny space between my heel and the bank of my shoe. i never found out what attacked me, but i blame the magpies.

I went to South Africa as part of a student ambassador program when I was 16.
One of the stops on our trip was a visit to an ostrich farm. They sometimes have ostrich races there, in which people ride them like horses (they are HUGE birds). So I got to ride an ostrich! But my ostrich was a feisty one and I didn’t get a good grip on his wings before he bolted! I only lasted about 8 seconds before pretty much rolling off the side of him.

I would love this to keep me warm during my snowboarding trips. My animal story is very simple. During the wildfire in Southern California last year, my job was closed down for 3 days. So I decided to go volunteer at the rodeo grounds to help take care of the animals that were evacuated to there. I got put on a sorta search and deliver supplies team. During our first run we came upon a goat that had been tied to a stake in the back yard of a house. The fire had come close to him, but no fire harm had come to him. He did have a nice cut on his leg, but seemed just fine about it. He had been without food and water for who knows how long. I was able to take him back with me back to the rodeo grounds in the cab of a truck. I was told that the owner never came for him, but the little guy was adopted by another family shortly after the fires. Now I have three goats in my backyard (not tied up to anything!)

The hoodies are amazing, I love the detail and the fun factor.

I was in Alaska in 2000 on a rafting trip. One early morning, I had to answer the call of nature so I slipped out of my tent and went off from the group at a discreet distance and walked right into a small brown bear! My heart was in my throat and I was frozen in my tracks and so was the bear. My first thought was to do what everyone tells you NOT to do, I raised my hands above my head and roared and screamed as loudly as I could-thankfully this scared the bear away. Needless to say I had to change my undies!

Thank you for the chance to win, good luck everyone-Jeff

I’m an ANIMAL!!! Graaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuwwwwwwwwwww

i love this hoodie! Here’s my animal story. I was backpacking in an area known for bears but I had never seen one in the wild. At dusk I went to hang my food away from camp and as I was concentrating on getting the rope over the tree limb, I heard a loud crash. I looked up and there was a giant black bear not more than 100 ft from me. I gasped quite loudly, he looked at me and took off, I ran in the other direction. So much for my bravery.

wow! nice tactical hoodie… does that even work in the same sentence?

would be great to wear this when skydiving from 13,000 feet, landing on a mountain with the I.W.G. Terminator Edition Custom Snowboard strapped to my feet and bombing down while being chased by a yeti…

So I think it is a cute coat. - My story is I had moved to a New town and only knew a few people. My parents were on their way to see my apartment and I had just put dinner in the over - when my friend called me and asked “How do you get a squirrel out of your apartment?”
My reply was ” How did you get a squirrel IN your apartment!?” She explained the door was open and one came inside. The remaining of the call involved her breaking at least one broomstick, and telling me if the phone went dead it was because the squirrel might eat the phone line….. but it all ended ok. The squirrel was chased out by her and her boyfriend… and she gets random squirrel presents to this day!

whoa cool, these were sold out for a long time

i used to have insomnia. i was kind of like the guy in fight club who couldnt sleep. i would watch infomercials. i knew about all the different coin collections and all kinds of specials on dell computers. there was this rerun of a video camera sale that used to haunt me.

i wanted to sleep and i was always having trouble. i figured out that i needed a buddy. i found a picture of this bear and we became friends. his name was tree cub and he could sleep in trees. i always got to see him sleeping before i went to sleep. if he could sleep in his tree then i could certainly sleep in my bed.

a friend of mine though it wasnt fair that we couldnt hang out together and made me a painting of tree cub for the holidays one year. he sleeps on the wall next to me now and he gets to share his dreams with me.

i love animals & fuzzy hoodies!

Two summers ago I was kayaking up Tracy Arm Fjord in SE Alaska. While watching 2 black bear cubs eat the mussels off the steep rocks, I saw a baby harbour seal on an iceberg. I kayaked closer to the iceberg and just watched wondering where the mother was. About 15 minutes later, the two black bear cubs were swimming in the water towards the iceberg. The cubs were trying to climb onto the iceberg for probably about 20 minutes. By that time, the seal pup had already swam away. It was hilarious. They gave up and swam back to shore. The sow was absolutely pissed…and I’m sure would have spanked them if she could!

My favorite Wild Thing story is the childrens’ book Where the Wild Things are by Maurice Sendak! When he’s sent to his room - he imagines he’s on an island with wild critters and he tames them all because he is the King of the Wild Things!

I was nearly attacked by a deer once. Well, I kind of spooked it as I was walking through the woods. She decided the best path of escape was the one I was walking down. She charged right at me. I froze. At the last moment she made a sharp left rather than attack me. If I had this hoodie, I think deer would be more frightened of me. That would be better for both of us.

I used to walk my box turtle across the yard every other day so she could get some sun. One day, a hawk came from the sky and landed on my turtle. I didn’t really know what to do, since I was afraid of birds, so I kind of just watched it in shock as it held my turtle and lifted off the ground. What I didn’t know about hawks at the time was that what it would do to get to the yummy turtle meat was to drop it from high up so the shell cracks. This hawk didn’t drop from too high, and as soon as my turtle landed, I grabbed it and ran inside my house. no damage!

I am from Alaska so I am no stranger to animal encounters. There is plenty of wildlife and I will never forget walking to the school bus stop in elementary school with my siblings and having to test our running speed in snow clothes to get past moose on the way.

So when i was little i tried to teach my cat to not be afraid of water. My genius method was to carry her out into the middle of a pool in my back yard with only my swimsuit to defend me from razor sharp cat panic. i Still to this day have a long line of a scar on my knee where she tried to claw into to stop from getting wet. I learned early on you can’t change things like that.

When I was a little kid we adopted a malnourish dog and named him “puppy.” He was pure white with a patched of black on his right shoulder. He became very loyal to us and would follow us to the market and wait for my sister and I outside the school. We had him for about three years but one day he disappeared and was never found.

i was once on my way to an undercover warehouse party in downtown LA…i wrote down the wrong address in my rush to get out of the house and ended up at a furry party. i kid you not.

one time my cat pooped on my bed so then i pooped on her bed

So it’s not a direct story between an animal and myself, but it’s animal… byproduct, so I think it’s related.

It was one day in high school back in Malaysia, and it was during the monsoon raining seasons so it was raining way past cats and dogs, more like cows and rhinos outside. I had to get back to class to change into my PE gear between classes, and we had a building with those open air courtyards, so to avoid the rain, I decided to walk to the class door via the edges of the courtyard. The concrete was pretty slick so I was trying hard to not slip as it was school dress code to wear all white canvas shoes. I was almost to the door and had to pass under our aircontioners, where pidgeons liked to perch themselves. As a result of their daily visits, there was quite a large collection of well, poo, on that portion of the concrete ledge. As I carefully tried to walk across it, my no-friction shoes gave way and I fell straight onto it and because it was raining and slippery I couldn’t get back up, so ended up sliding around for a while until I could prop myself up.

After the shock of that initial fall passed I had to regather my thoughts and go into class to grab my change (thankfully it I had PE that day, so that I even had a change) and there were 3 people in the classroom. The initial reaction was silence… then complete laughter with the realization of what was all over me. My uniform was a pukey yellow and forest green combination, so the white was a stark contrast on my uniform. It was horrible and I was called Poo Poo for the rest of that year.

Do not want … wait wait yes I do!

I could be fuzzy and wuzzy

its story time for notcot. well i’ll keep it simple. me + pa weather = freezing. this is a must!

when i was about 15, i went to the zoo for a day with my dad. we walked up on the hippo exhibit, which was basically just a chain link fence surrounding a pool with a little standing area. the hippo was right next to the chain link fence eating some leaves that had fallen off of a tree. i picked a giant handful of leaves off of the tree and the hippo immediately turned to me and opened his huuuuuge mouth. so i stood there feeding this huge hippo handfuls of leaves, petting his (gross) snout and not realizing that the only thing keeping this thing from charging me was a chain link fence. i visited the hippo for a few years and kept doing the same thing, until finally they changed the fencing to where i couldn’t do it anymore :(
speaking of chain link dangerous animals…i also went to an alligator farm where my friend and i stuck our hands through the fence to poke an alligator’s tail.
god i was stupid.

I will persevere! This is the best offering yet!

my dog runs after roaches.

Last summer I left the back patio door open at the cottage, I figured some fresh air from the lake couldn’t hurt right? I came back about an hour later to find the whole house over ran by about 40 Canadian geese.

I spent the next 3 hrs cleaning up goose droppings and feathers. I totally deserve this jacket for not breaking out the mossberg 500!

My Dad and I saved a baby raccoon this summer - we took care of it for about a week, until we turned it over to a licensed wildlife rehabilitator. One thing about him - the ears, oh those ears. Shaped exactly like the ones on this hoodie, it was hard to resist nom-nom-nom-ing them.

Pip the Waffle House bird. A strange thing happened over a lunch break when I met my husband at Waffle House for a quick bit to eat. We were enjoying our meal when there was a “bonk”. A small bird hit the window right next to us and landed on the ledge just outside the window next to us. I looked at it and noticed that it had an orange beak and orange legs and feet. “That’s not a wild bird,” I told my husband. It was a Zebra finch (I knew because I had an aunt that raised them). “Want me to catch it?” he asked. “Sure.” Amazingly, though those little birds are flighty little spitfires, he caught it mid-air as it was taking off. The employees at Waffle House gave us a box to put it in, we took it to a nearby pet store who confirmed what it was. We bought a cage and took him home. Turns out that we most likely saved his life, as those tiny birds don’t survive well in our area outdoors, especially in the fields with hawks nearby. Great little personality, our Pip!

Holy crap, I must have that. Consider me entered to win! :)

true animal story:
When I was a kid, my parents owned an ex-KOA campground, and I started a petting zoo. I had a female rabbit in my main pen, and then my dad got me a male rabbit. Well I kept the male rabbit in his own cage in that pen to prevent a bunny population explosion, but somehow fuzzies bumped. Long story short, there’s still a giant colony of bun-buns inhabiting a section of the Bitterroot Valley in western Montana.

Long ago at summer camp, I left my best friend buried in the sand when the beach was evacuated for a moose family to do its thing. She still hasn’t really forgiven me for those five minutes she spent unable to move anything but her head as the three huge moose walked across our play area, and I’d love to win this beastly sweatshirt and gift it to her as a long-awaited apology.

Back in junior high i was dragged down the street by a dog. My face was lacerated and my hand actually turned purple. To this day i have tons of scars on my left hand.

That dog was a poodle.

Try not to judge me too much….

This hoodie reminds of my pet raccoon I had a few years back. I found him when he was a wee lad, he had apparently fallen out of a tree and remained there freezing for a few days before I took him in. We raised him for over a year and he made a great pet! Very smart and curious! Got along with the cats and dogs and loved to play! We even had him potty trained.
We would let him out each night to roam around and do his thing, but one night he never came back…either he found himself a home in the wild, or found himself a splat on the highway…
I sure could use a nice fuzzy hoodie to tend the woes of my long lost fuzzy friend.

All of my animal stories are domesticated. (Hopefully this will change when I get this jacket, as I plan to make friends with the bears. I will slowly integrate myself into their community, until they have forgotten I am human. Then, I will adopt a bear cub, and raise him as my own.) Anyway, the story: Our usually well behaved dog one day decided to chew up a book while we are away. The book? A Peanuts collection titled Dogs are Worth it. I am still on watch for more messages from him. (One day, I believe, he will chew up a book called We as Dogs are Trying to Overtake the Humans: Fear us.) (Hopefully when dogkind overtakes humans I will be far away, enjoying life as a surrogate bear mother. If I do not win this jacket, dogs will devour me alive. Please help.)

When I was bout nine, my family went camping out in New Mexico during summer vacation. One night we awoke to a thunderous stomping and snorting that surrounded our entire tent. Soon we realized that the sound was coming from a massive heard of wild boar, the moonlight cast their shadows upon out tent walls, allowing us to see their razor sharp tusks in all their silhouetted glory. It took everything we had not to scream, realizing there were mere microns of woven synthetic fiber between a presumably ravenous impending doom and us. The stampede lasted into the wee hours of the night. Even after the last of their footsteps had echoed into the distance, the ground still shook as if whimpering with relief.

The next morning we cooked bacon.

“uuuh-uhh… little, funny comment.” - dwight schrute

My cat’s been licking all the glue off my lint roller for the past month. I could stop him but it’s not up to me. He has to want to quit. It’s the only way he’ll truly be cured of this horrible addiction that takes the lives of millions every single day.

I always dress up as a bear for Halloween and try to find any occasion to wear my bear hats otherwise.. My apartment went up in flames in October, so I lost all but one of my bear hats and this hoodie would help me rebuild my collection! :( That’s my sad animal story.

When I was 19 y/o my mother went on a trip to Mexico and needed me to watch her house and dog (weiner dog named Miles). On the 2nd night I was house sitting I came home from a party with friends were I had purchased 3 suger cubes laced with LCD (again, I was young and dumb). The sugar cubes were in a cellaphane (bottom of a pack of cigarettes)and upon entering the guest bedroom I was staying in I took everything out of my pockets and set it all down on the night stand. When I woke up the next morning, the door was open and the cellaphane that was holding the LCD was empty and I could see teeth marks. THE DOG ATE MY ACID!!! I could not locate my mothers poor little weiner dog anywhere!! I searched the house high and low and finally on the 6th night (5 days later) I found Miles hiding under the couch (which I had previously checked). He was extremely traumatized but slowly came down and begane acting normal. I did not tell my mother what happened, thinking that it would be one of the those deathbed stories I would tell her years later. Unfortunately that was not the case, 5 years later Miles began having back problem (walking with his back hunched up and couldn’t climb up or down any steps or jump onto the couch). So having heard that Miles was having major back/spine problems I accompanied her to the veterenarian. I started to remember what had happened to Miles years before with the LCD and remembered that one of the tests they do on humans for LCD is a spinal tap. I immediately got worried that maybe the LCD Miles had taken years ago might have done some major damage to his health, or more specifically damage to his spine. So during the visit to the Vet, my mother had to go our to her car, so I took that opportunity to tell the Vet about the LCD accident and wanted to know if she knew whether or not this might have been the cause of his recent spinal problems. The Vet was PISSED that I would be so iresponsible to let something like that happened and that I hadn’t told my mother about it. The Vet pulled out a HUGE book (Animal Medical Book)and looked up “effect of LCD on Dogs”. She said that it wasn’t an issue, but forced me to tell my mother. So when my mother came back in I had to tell her the whole story in front of the Vet and all the technitians that worked there. It was horrible and for a while I thought my actions were going to kill my mothers little weiner dog! But, alas Miles is still alive and his back problems went away with the help of Vet prescribed steriods. Although, every now and then Miles will randomly start barking and running around the house for no reason……flashbacks?? I’m not sure…..

I didn’t grow up with any pets, so I don’t have too many animal stories of my own… But my favorite animal tidbit is that sloths—who spend the majority of their lives in the trees—will climb down from the canopies of the rain forest and use the bathroom on the forest floor. It’s weird, but strangely endearing. So this hoodie may not protect me from sloth poop, but it would certainly be useful in the city when the birds come back in the spring!

No story… : (

At least it’s easier reading for you!

My uncle bought me a birdcage when I was about 5 years old. The bird did not go over very well with some memebers of the household, so the bird was returned and the cage sat in the garage for decades. I’m finally restoring the cage and will use it as a display for air plants.

My uncle bought me a birdcage when I was about 5 years old. The bird did not go over very well with some memebers of the household, so the bird was returned and the cage sat in the garage for decades. I’m finally restoring the cage and will use it as a display for air plants.

My friends and I were camping and I decided to run on all fours at three of the girls from across a clearing. It was nighttime, so they thought I was a bear Two of them jumped behind the third, and when they found out it was just me, I got punched in the arm. Good times.

pahleeeeeeeeeeze….hook a “commenter” UP

this jacket is like a hot beatttt…soooo hot, yet soooo cool

OH MY GOSH. I’m in love with this jacket! I’m from Alaska so I grew up hiding from a moose that liked our neghborhood and decided to hang out in our bus stop. It was crazy!

Man, the first animal story that pops in my mind is about an owl. A white owl. In the ocasion I was in school, 7 or 8 years old, some crazy freaking owl came flying through the window, into my classroom, all the screaming children and chaos, and, scared to death, the owl begun to crap over everybody, flying in circles above our heads. And after a minute of crap rain, books and hair properly “branded”, it flew away through the same window. But it was a gorgeous looking bird anyways. Yeah, the revenge of the animals, humans toss their junk in the animals´place, they come back to crap in our heads.

This looks so awesome. Makes me want to start a bike gang with sweet hoodies.

My wife recently lost her mind and decided that we need to add a token cat our menagerie, so we now have a token cat. A rather cute little boy kitten the she had contact with at the yarn store she frequents has now been added to our four footed family. We have four dogs currently and wouldn’t you know it, the kitten is best friends with the largest of our pack.

Now, I don’t know how much you know about integrating a new animal into an existing group, it’s now simply letting them loose and stand back. So for the first week the kitten lived in an unused dog crate, just so he would get used to the dogs running around, and getting sniffed and parked at. The dogs also needed to learn that kittens have SHARP claws. Our pointer mix found that out the hard way, he was presented with several scratches on his nose.

We have just gotten to the point where the cat doesn’t need the protection of the dog crate, now we need for him to learn the the big people need to be able to sleep in!!

**************************************************************
FUNNIEST ENCOUNTER WITH A DEER : SUZIE @ AGE 11
**************************************************************
I grew up in Western New York - middle of nowhere, horse farm, dirt road, etc. You know, The BOONIES!! I was out in the boondocks, but at least I had a boy next door. Except “next door” in the country translates to a five minute walk across a field full of burdocks. COUNTRY NEIGHBORS.
Here’s the story: It’s just after dark on a cool fall evening, and I’m headed over to Jeff’s to play a little GIN RUMMY. I don’t have a flashlight on me, but I decide to take the shortcut across the field anyhow. The grass is tall and brown and not particularly fun to walk through, but there’s a small foot path, almost like a deer trail! (hmm imagine that) It’s a little chilly so I kick it up to a jog. Little did I know- a herd of whitetail deer had crashed in the grass for the night and I’m about to stumble upon their liar! All of a sudden, a dozen deer pop up out of nowhere and I nearly pee myself. Not only that, but on their way out they nearly stampede me to the ground!! They’re as scared of me as I am of them and it’s DARK! One of the deer and I collide as we both try and flee the area. There’s gnashing of teeth and rendering of garments!!! I get up and haul ass home… bawling as I run. (Let me remind you - I’m 11. I’m ELEVEN and I’m wrestling deer in the dark.)

I never once forgot my flashlight after that. I also learned to whistle.

Awesome! An authentic prop from the film Better Off Dead!

This is a true story;
I was sketching one day, for a project due early next morning.
I hadn’t slept for at least 40+ hours.
I hadn’t been procrastinating tho, just full of deadlines on the same day.
My girlfriend came to vist me. She brought her chihuahua.
He’s adorable, I treat him like my son.
As soon as I was done with homework, we left him in my room, asleep, while we watched a movie to relax.
At one point she put her sweater on my table.
When the movie was over, i went back to my room.
The dog was on the floor, so were my sketches, at least what was left of them.
Next day, I presented what little was left of my work, and what I was able to re-sketch after the incident.
I had a few good and new ideas because of that.
When the teacher asked me what method i had used to inspire such concepts which he luved,
I said “my dog ate my homework.”

Boy, I sure could use a new sweatshirt! My darling little kitten (Theodore) has a nursing problem (I have to buy him a kitty pacifier.) It wouldn’t be a problem if he didn’t try to nurse on me and my clothing (and my socks and my bedding…) I’ve had to discard several sweaters due to excessive chewing and cat saliva, because he is just too cute to turn away when he is in snuggle mode. But this hoodie, I would treasure. I would keep it on the top shelf of my closet, away from grabby little kitten paws and teeth.

Oh my gosh, this hoodie is too funny. I wish I had one of these when I lived/worked at an Outdoor School in Colorado. It would have been perfect for the nights that the four of us interns went to the meadow to chase herds of elk…

I was on a camping trip during 9/11/2001 and didn’t even hear about the attacks until i think the 15th. I remember a group of day hikers telling me that someone had shot missiles at the pentagon, and thats pretty much the assumption I was under for a few days….

Anyway.. the animal story. Bear nets dont work, a fact I had learned the hard way. My friends and I filled our bag up with all our edibles and alcohol and tossed it up in a tree. When we came back from our day hike there was Momma Bear and Baby Bear going to town on our peanut butter, trailmix, dehydrated food and gatorade packets. As you know, you dont want to cross Momma Bear… so we chilled out… luckily they didn’t get to the Jim Beam. What was unfortunate however was the fact that we had about 1/2 a days food for the 2 day trip out.

as a kid I took my grandmother’s full length fox fur coat and used it to play in the front yard. I was some kind of play-pretend kid sized bear until she came home, smacked me, and took her coat back.

Well, the most interesting story I have is when I was driving home from work, and a pack (herd, murder, pride, gaggle?) of deer ran out of the woods right into my car. Whole side wrecked, $7000 in damage. Never knew deer could be such jerks.

what a cool hoodie! perfect for winter! I would Looooovve to have this!
I grew up in the redwood forest, so we always had lots of animals, raccoons, foxes, black bears, deer, and even cougars.
Growing up we had two cats, Shasta and Cocoa. Cocoa found us, she just showed up one day. Well Cocoa lived outside, and her food was always on the back porch, unfortunately raccoons would always come steal it so we had to be on look out to chase them away. However raccoons in my home town are very, very bold, and they would only run to the edge of the trees and wait for us to return to the house. Well one day much like many other days, there was a younger looking raccoon chowing down on the cat food, so of course I ran outside to chase it away. The raccoon ran to the back of our yard, and stopped, I ran after it. The raccoon darted back and leapt onto a redwood trunk, then scampered up to the first branch and sat staring at me.
I called it a chicken, it didn’t budge. I was going to call it quits when I heard it start growling, turning I saw the raccoon preparing to jump down, afraid it would land on me I ran back, indeed the raccoon jumped! luckily not on me, but obviously it meant business. I grabbed a brick from our fire pit and ran towards it, the raccoon ran farther back, then stopped again! This time about five feet into the forest, it turned around and took a step toward me, so I threw the brick and clonked the raccoon square in the back! it squeaked and fell over… it did not move. I immediately lost my killer instinct and was horrified. Did I just kill that raccoon? I poked it. It rolled over! Alive! what a tough son of a gun.
The raccoon took one look at me, and then ran… not to the woods, but back to the cat food dish!
I gave up. If it could survive a brick, it can eat some cat food.
you win this time raccoon.

Once upon a time there was a crazy insomniac bear. His eyes were so bloodshot, he saw the whole world in red. but since he lived in the forest where most everything is green, he thought he lived in a gray, forest of dead trees. He met a white nightingale who sang him to sleep, and when he woke up his eyes were all better.

Why I’d love this sweatshirt (besides the obvious reasons): When I was in middle school I LOVED llamas for some reason. One weekend my grandparents took me to a llama fair and it seriously made my year. Llama-pulled carts, walking llamas on leashes, llama-shaped llolipops, the bus they were driven around in called the Llamasine (with license plate “Llamabus”). And my awesome souvenir: plush llama ears. Now in the years since, I have found fewer and fewer occasions to bust out the ol’ llama ears… but with this hoodie I can just stick on some velcro and wear them all the time!

I do need a Rocket World Shag Master Creature Hoodie, its getting so cold in NY and I need something “cool and warm” to wear….

I just loved it!

Marcelo

A few years ago I got pet chickens. Yeah, they’re a little worse than bunnies (in my opinion) on the whole breeding thing. I have 3 generations of chickens at my house now. Well anyway, at one point when we had chicks the mother hen scalped one of them! It was pretty bad and I had to separate it from the rest. One of its brothers joined him. Thankfully, my mother was able to save him. It was pretty gross though, I could see it’s skull. Said chicken, who is now named Blondie, made a full recovery and is definitely one of our prettier chickens. She still can’t be with her mom though.

What if Dick Cheney shoots me… =(

Cute hoodie!

Well, a couple of years back, my mom bought 4 turtles for each of my siblings and I. We’ve had them for 7 or 8 years now. One of them died from and infection and the other 3 were doing fine until one fine summer day my mom decided to place them in the backyard for some sun. During the evening, she decided to leave them outside since it would be easier than bringing them back into the house.

Later that night, I noticed that there were a lot of noise out back, I peek out to see a pack of raccoons pawing at one of the turtles. I immediately turn on the backyard lights just to see them run off with one of the turtles in it’s mouth. I found one upside down on the ground with the front paws and tail missing. The other one is nowhere in sight. I brought the injured one in the house and washed it off. We ended up finding the missing one in the dirt somewhere unharmed.

Now the 2 turtles are living in my room but scared for life from that horrible experience. The one with the missing limbs is a fighter, he still swimming around like it use to.

I wanna be a big bad bear!
Those rock.

Last May we were camping in CT. and it was really cold. We put up our little dome tent inside of our walled popup so we’d be warmer. At about 5am there was the sound of footsteps(paws) across the blue tarp we had on the ground. I peeked out and there was a coyote, sniffing around our space. It kept going, then returned about an hour later. I clapped to scare it the second time.
If I had one of these bad ass bear hoodies, I could have scared the poo out of that varmint the first visit and gone back to sleep with no fear.

Although you asked for an animal story, my reason for desiring this hoodie is far funnier. On Friday I was a competitor in a drag show. Three of my girlfriends and I dressed up as a barber shop quartet and called ourselves “the Dynamic Dictaphones” and did a choreographed routing to DiVinci’s Notebook’s “Enormous Penis.” As if that weren’t enough we all had different names and characters that went with them, all of our first names were Dick… and my last name was Stroker. We had Dick Travels, Dick Cummings, Dick Trickle and Dick Stroker. I had a handlebar mustache in addition to our canes, suspenders, striped hats, bow-ties and matching outfits. Dick Stroker is a bear, he considers himself god’s gift to women, and very well may be. The Dick Stroker in me wants this hoodie. He wants me to let my inner bear out with this hoodie and a growl.

These remind me of the monkey costume that we made for my two year old son this past Halloween. My wife and I spent days putting it together only to have him refuse to wear it.

When I was a city slicker teenager, I went with a couple of friends to a little ratty town on the coast of Mexico, the locals took us to the beach where thousands of little turtles where hatching and making a run towards the ocean.

A lot of them perished either by seagull or crab, so we spent the next 6 hrs trying to help them reach the ocean while fending of their attackers.

Exhausted after the whole deal, the locals insisted on treating us to a delicacy… Turtle Eggs !!

Non-committal furrydom? Yes please!

This one deserves a good story, preferably a bear story, but the best I can do is a badger story.

I was camping, and we heard a rustling in the bushes. We’d been enjoying the squirrels, and assumed they were back, and going to start their amusing quarrels again. No, it was a badger, and let me tell you, badgers are a lot bigger than squirrels. He looked at us, and we were so shocked, we just stood there. He was clearly less shocked, and proceeded to meander through our camp site, checking out our gear, and where we dumped waste water, before continuing on his merry way. Fortunately we didn’t have any food out, or he may have stuck around.

once, when eight or so, a black bear got into the porch of the cabin we were staying in in northern minnesota. normally, this would not present a problem as the door to the cabin would be locked. however, the lock was broken and the door swung open easily. after trying to scare him away for about 20 minutes with pots and pans, we finally pushed my sister’s bed in front of the door, with her still sleeping in it.

she still hasn’t forgiven us.

Ok… I wouldn’t call him an animal…. a bear maybe… but I have this friend, who turns 18 like wednesday, and I haven’t seen him since July, cause he is in Venezuela and I am in Sweden, and anyway, I would like him to have this far to thick and warm jacket for Venezuelan weather just because it is so warm. Cause then he would have to go to somewhere cold to use it, hopefully to Sweden and visit me. :)

i my, i must have that. i’ve always fancied bear ears, tho they don’t like it much when you play the look i got ur ears game

jumping behind things.

little brother being tough w/ a goose. bad idea. jumps behind me in fear.
rabid baby squirrels chase me and babysitter into house. jump behind screen door in fear.
me and friend walking outside dorm in college. encounter cat, believe it to be a fox. i jump behind friend and play it off like she jumped in front of me out of fear.

Well, my latest animal story involves opening the back door this weekend to let Clive the dog in, only to have charge by me with something large and grey in his mouth. “Drop it,” I said, and he did—dead squirrel in the middle of the kitchen floor. That brings his squirrel tally to 4—surprising considering what a little fat-ster he is. Too bad they don’t make squirrel-style hoodies for dogs. He’d love the improved stealth factor.

And fyi, for anyone needing to de-skunk a dog. Forget tomato juice—Downy Fabric Softener is the stuff! Marinate the dog for about 10 minutes, and then rinse him or her off (thoroughly, the Downy makes their skin itchy). Stench no more, and the bonus is every time they get wet over the next couple months, they smell like laundry! My give-away to you.

Crossing my fingers, though, for the creature hoodie!

I would purposely take detours through the woods to get to classes in the winter just to make people a little curious. Maybe walk a little funny, kinda scramble, y’know? Plus, I would be super cuddly. How could you resist?

what a great hoody! cozy, nice color, and i LOVE the ears!

i have two little baby rats, frida and kiki, and they ride around on the back of my neck, occasionally adventuring through my hair (i have messy dreads, which they love) and they chatter back to me if i talk to them… absolute sweethearts!

I live with 4 dogs. I used to have one too but had to give her away. One of the dogs as OCD and will not eat her food unless its hand fed from my roommate. She also pretends to swim on the floor, then flips onto her other side and pretends to swim the other way. The other three dogs are a family of weiner dogs. Dash (Dad), Hazel (Mom), and Oscar (kid). Oscar is 7 months old but he’s bigger and fatter than the other two. He’s a bit of a rascal and chews up anything we leave in the living room. He also poops on my other roommate’s bed sometimes.
All four dogs get really excited when we have visitors and they run to the door and bark. One day I heard the doorbell and the dogs went mad. Nobody opened the door so I got it but nobody was outside. I asked my roommates if they saw anyone but then I realized they were watching Family Guy and the doorbell sound came from the show. My roommates never let me hear the end of that and they still tease me that I’m as gullible as the dogs.

It can be both cute and dark at the same time. I love it.

Being allergic to furry animals, I’m not able to gush the greatest furry pet animal story like my fellow readers here.

I do recall that i begged my parents for a dog for Christmas when I was little. humoring me, they bought me a lame Pound Puppies stuffed dog. Needless to say, Christmas was ruined for me that year.

But I guess that this will be the closest I can ever get to owning my own furry animal.

Plus I live in Pittsburgh. Wet, cold, soggy, mushy, crappy, cold weather.

That’s all I’ve got.

the animal story that is the most remarkable in my mind is when i was visiting my grandparents in china. my grandfather is a retired dentist but he will still perform dental work on anyone who knocks on his gate. he gets a lot of people who are down on their luck, and my grandfather will let them pay him any way they can. one day when i was 12 i woke up from a nap and walked into the living room to see him sitting on the couch, poking at something in a washbasin with a pair of chopsticks. it was a soft-shelled turtle that a farmer gave him in return for having some teeth pulled. a delicacy! i wish i could say that we had it for dinner but unfortunately the turtle died before we could kill it so it was unsafe to eat :(

Once my friend was dissecting a cat, and the girl he was with decided she wanted to see the brain. Before thinking the decision through she thought the fastest way to get to the brain would be to remove the head. Only after the head was finally severed did she realize the actions that she just took, and she dropped the head abruptly. It rolled to a stop staring back up at them, my friend then pointed out that she should listen to him the next time he insists on not decapitating a dead cat.

btw, that hoodie is definitely awesome.

Camping this summer we arrived at our cottage to find a bowl of fruit and a note that says, “Sundance may stop buy, he loves grapes.” Our minds began racing assuming that sundance must be an animal, but what if, what if sundance were some homeless hippie jesus person with an affinity for grapes. All in all sundance was in fact a golden lab, who upon eating grapes and patting his head would get, “overly excited” to say the least.

Did you know sheep has one of the best cooling systems of all animals? They can literally keep running for ever :)

I have a pet beagle named Ditto.
She has the kindest eyes.
Aside from the Internet she is one of my closest friends.

She arguably possesses a greater depth of knowledge and intelligence than most of my immediate family. 18 months ago she decided to do away with the confines of her domain at my mothers home and proceeded to “run away”. I use the term “run away” loosely, and only as necessary qualifier, for I believe her to be a spirit that at times needs to break-free from normal every-day life of grazing, sleeping, and grooming. We all need excitement some time!

Ditto was attacked by a cat, whom I will refer to as “Douchebag” from this point forward. Douchebag dug her claws into my little Princesses’ breast plate. Ditto’s response was to stare blankly in the face of the insidious creature and subsequently look back to me for support. Douchebag was too quick for my icey death grip and scurried away into the distant brush.

Ditto is a formidable creature. I believe to this day she choose not to retaliate for two reasons. She has and will always maintain a clear conscience; I on the other hand do not and subsequently easily seek revenge on Douchebag. I failed in her expectations and hope one day she will forgive me.

The second reason was more strategic and for which I have the new found respect for her: an infection followed and Ditto battled her way through months of treatment to her skin. She survived and following the process of being nursed to health she attained a new role in our pact. In fact, she likes to think we are now her servants and she is the alpha-female. But I’m still her man (the Alpha-Male also) and she will always be my B*tch. One small act of patience has now pushed her ahead of the previous alpha-femal (my Mother) and well beyond the stature of my siblings. What a brilliant lady!

It was a cold winter saturday night. Me and my cousin went out for a bike ride and we found a lot of bamboo tha were cutted down. We started playing with it and making that zoom noise with the bamboo on the vertical position.

Suddenly we realised that lots of bats started flying around the sticks.
The dummy bats started to throw themselves at the bamboo sticks in an attempt to suicide.

They started falling down after several hits, and they were still breathing alive. We catched a bunch of them and we took them into my house. When my mom came home we had 5 demi death bats to her surprise. We got beaten up by her but we had the opportunity to keep them. I still got some pics of them. Lovely animals!

p.s. - Send me these bear hoodies and I send back a bat for you guys.

My bed is covered with fluffies. There is Pang-Pang, sitting cow, found in a free store with a “Go (insert university name)” shirt, which was promptly removed. There is Marmalade, plumpy cat, replaced by a real marmalade, brought home in a colander. There is scrawny kitty, fallen off of the truck in China. Bear suit would bring it all home. True story

If I win this I will immediately put it on and run into the woods to live the rest of my life. I am also thinking I will have one horn and one ear just to mix things up a bit

My girlfriend and I used to own the meanest Shetland pony in the world. When he wasn’t terrorizing the dogs or eating hay, he was secretly planning how to destroy me. For some reason I was always the one that had to go out and feed him at night…though my girlfriend knew he was my arch-enemy. So, one night I went to complete my nightly duties…He was nowhere to be found…the night atmosphere was so quite it deafened me. I put the hay in his feeding area and started to walk back to the house. I felt as if someone was watching me…and I kept looking behind me to check and see if a killer was lurking behind me with a knife.

Almost back to the house, I heard the sound of a million falling rocks…or thats what it sounded like. I turned around to find one completely angry and determined pony running towards me with fire in his eyes.

I began to run the rest of the 40 feet back to our house and tripped on a root. As I tried to get up, Eeyore(the pony) had made it to me. I stood up and faced my enemy. Just then he bucked up and kick me like a ninja with his front feet. I was stunned and didn’t know what to do. He stood there as if to say “Yeah…THAT just happened!”

With 5 VERY large bruises on my chest, I explained to the officers that I was accosted by our pet shetland pony. My neighbor had called the police thinking there was a domestic abuse going on at our house…I guess in a way it was.

We no longer own the pony. He has a better home with other animals to pick on.

I saved a gofers life one time, at least i think it was a gofer. It was this big orange thing with buck teeth… ya, pretty sure it was a gofer. Anyways I was walking down the street with my girlfriend at the time when we heard a the sound of a tin can being slammed and scraped onto something concrete. We followed the sound for a minute and it lead us to a small gofer/ woodchuck type thing with a progresso soup can for a head. My guess is that he really wanted whatever was on the bottom of the can, because he managed to fit his entire head and neck inside the can. He scurried around blind and confused in the street, occasionally walking into the curb and heading the other direction, only to do so again on the other side… it was kind of like a live action version of pong, but with a gofer type thing. Anyways we both knew I was the one that was going to have to do something about this. Putting my mild to moderate fear of rabies aside I crept up on the little orange soup can monster as quietly as I could, extended my hand and grabbed the can. After a bit of a struggle his head popped out, and for a brief second he looked me right in the eyes, as if to say “shit man… thanks” before dashing off into the bushes. We later named him Henry Finkelmeyerstein, and told stories of his exploits often. And even though I never saw Henry again, I’ll never forget the time we spent together and the lessons we learned.

We have a puppy that is half beagle and aussie. Yes, she’s a baussie. And she really is very bossy to the entire family demanding the she be fed and worshiped. (I would almost think that she’s a cat in a dog’s body.) I would love to see her reaction to my daughter dressed up in one of these awesome hoodies! That’ll show the dog who’s boss. And hopefully it’ll also warn away any guys that might be having thoughts about my teenage daughter too!

I got my own creature hoodie a year ago after waiting for it for ages, and i love it to death, i wrote my entire dissertation wearing it, and it was so warm and couldn’t really afford heating at that point and it sorted me out! I would love to give this hoodie to my amaaazing friend/ex housemate Rory! I know he would love it and would really come in handy on the freezing cold isle of man where he live on a farm after finishing his film degree. He is the most amazing guy i have ever known and really is a big cozy bear himself.

My husband was the Gloomy Bear mascot for the San Diego Comic Con 3 years ago and I was dressed as his mauled up owner Petey. Does that count as an animal adventure?

Hey there,

So my animal story actually happened in the middle of the night last night, so this is somewhat of a coincidence for me. I was sleeping, when suddenly I wake up in a fright with my hand in my mouth and I’m biting down on it hard while growling. Luckily my hand was wrapped in my comforter, because i was really tearing into it! then i proceed to jump up on my bed and i’m growling and looking around like if something is going to attack me. Picture Jack Nicholson in WOLF. I jump off my bed and roam around my apartment, still growling, looking for an intruder or prey of some kind. I finally came to, and i was VERY confused. I guess this is the kind of thing werewolves go through. *shrug*

A few years ago we we’re hiking down MT. Marcy in upstate NY, it rained for about 2 weeks straight and we had absolutely nothing that was dry, all we wanted to do was make camp. so we did, ate some food and then put all the rest in a bag and threw it up a tree (thinking it was safe from bears). we we’re told brown bears were spotted in the area almost every night now for the past month, we were warry but not too worried seeing as how everything that gave off a tantalizing smell was safely in a tree. We decided to rest and about 5 hours later in the middle of the night we were woken up by growling and wat sounded like claws ripping cloth. we all grabbed our knives but were too scared to go outside. when morning came all our food was eaten. We were told by a passing ranger that apparently 4 brown bears came through the camp ground and ate most camper’s food. This was horrible news for us mainly because we were still 20 miles from anywhere, most likely a 3 day hike, well to cut this short we made it out slightly starving and headed straight for mcdolnalds for a supersized big mac. =)

Before I left for college, my parents adopted a portuguese water dog. Sadly, the big guy thinks he is a lap dog. So one day I’m sitting on the couch, watching some tv, petting him on the head when he decides to jump up into my lap. Fortunately I’ll be able to still have kids, but that was one kick in the jewels I won’t soon forget.

mountain biking on the top of Mt Lemon in Arizona. Figured there wouldn’t be much in the way of wildlife… In an open meadow it looked like there were hornets on every teeming surface. Ended up as we got closer they were ladybugs by the millions, streaming over everything. Biked through the mess with them streaming off of us and with a sigh of relief.

Until we saw the brown bear that was around the corner. He saw us. We saw him. We retained continence. He ran.

We biked fast.

The late Mitch Hedberg said “I had an ant farm once, those little f**kers didnt grow s**t.”

Here’s to you Mitch, if i win i wll mail this jacket to you in the afterlife because animals scare me. Except yettis,they are excellent drivers.

i so badly want some ducks as pets, but apparently no one else among my friends and family supports this enthusiasm for water fowl.

driving home one night i hit a deer. i gotta say it didnt sit right in my stomach but it was the most satisfying crunch i ever heard

i had a dog named burgy when i lived in the philippines. he used to tussle with all the other street dogs and come out on top, which is why all our neighbors hated him. one night, burgy hopped our fence and wandered the streets only to come back in the morning with blood drooling from his face. he was shot by the town government who was supposedly trying to clean the streets of stray dogs. we took him to the vet and he survived. a few weeks later, he came back to be top dog. burgy was one bad ass dog

my kitty chases dogs. he is a wild beastie!

We once went on a safari with our car and gazelles approached the car and we had some bread so gave them a few peices… they got their heads INTO the car and wanted more but we didn’t have anymore bread! they must have been hungry because they weren’t giving up and we drove for a mile with their heads still in the car!

I love the velcro spots on this hoodie, and the cable wraps too! It would be great for the cold Wisconsin winter I think we’re in for!

When I was in 9th grade, I had a pet mouse named C3PO (not that I was into Star Wars, or anything… I just liked the sound of the name). He was white with tawny brown spots covering a good part of his body. We were good friends, and he just loved the little pellets that I gave him for food. C3PO lived happily in my bedroom for a number of months, that is, until he figured out that he could chew through the rubbermaid plastic bin that I’d been using as a cage.

Anyhow, He Escaped. I was SO sad. He was my little buddy and I looked EVERYWHERE for the little guy. After a couple of weeks, I figured he’d been eaten by one of the outside cats or had made it safely to the sugarcane field next door.

Three months later, I was out of town for spring break, and I made the obligatory phone call home to check in. My young brother answered and when he realized it was me screamed into the phone:

“Melody! C3PO Had puppies!”

Apparently, SHE had gotten loose and made it with one of the field mice which had been living in or near our house. When I got back into town - sure enough, there was my little white and brown mouse with 5 little babies. Unfortunately, the births really took it out of poor C3PO. She only survived a couple days after they were born. :(

PS That Hoodie is AWESOME! I went as a wolf for Halloween, but my ears weren’t as cool… I love wearing ears (and horns)!

My girlfriend would LOVE this.

When I was little we lived in a house in the woods. I was playing a game one night and sitting with my back to our sliding glass doors. I heard a tapping on the window behind me and took off screaming for my mom because I was scared. Her and my sister went and turned the light on outside and started laughing.. a raccoon had gotten into our dumpster and got a pickle jar stuck on his head. He was looking in the window and it was the jar tapping against the glass of the door that scared me :(

Okay (since that hoodie is adorable)
I’ve been a long time animal obsessed person, and spent some time working at petco. My boyfried and i came home from hanging out with some friends.(we were living at my parents at the time) and it was around 2:30 in the morning.
I heard him hiss my name from the bedroom, his voice was much more serious from normal. So i walk down the hallway (since my parents and brother were sleeping) and see him pointing to a fuzzy little flying squirrel sitting on top of my desk.
He’s near-deathly afraid of almost all rodents, so we go about trying to scare it out of the room. We caused quite a lot of noise trying to get the little thing out, which led to my mother storming into our room quite angry.
“What are you doing!? It’s 2:30 in the morning!”
“There’s a flying squirrel!!!” I shouted, armed with a towel, trying to dig out all the junk in the corner that the flying squirrel was under.
My mother laughed at the situation and also grabbed a towel and we were able to get the little guy out of the house and into the yard unharmed.
So we went upstairs to find out how it had gotten in, to find a total of 13 more flying squirrels running around, jumping from the lamps and furniture. About an hour later (and some cookies for bait) I was able to catch all 13 flying squirrels and release them back into the yard, unscathed. We found a hole they had chewed from the attic into one of our pantry closets, and quickly sealed it up.
That’s my animal/adventure story ^_^

My family once included two basenji dogs, that in the cold winter nights of Iceland would crawl into my bed where we’d enjoy symbiotic warmth in the morning. The female, Daisy would crawl into bed first, and go lay curled up behind my legs, often resting her head on my ankle. The dog, Tigger on the other hand would curl up at my chest, facing my thigh and then slowly uncurl and lay up to against my chest as he got warmer. The catch to that was his ungraceful positioning, as when he got too warm under the thick duvet he’d roll onto his back and push the covers up with his feet, waking me up only to face the refreshing sight of balls in the morning.

Daisy has passed, but that hoodie would be awesome to wear when walking Tigger :)

this would have been perfect last year, i kept hearing noises from my heater closet. upon careful exploration of the dark space i found a brown bat tucked away in a corner. maybe he would have been scared off a little easier if i had bear ears.

I just want one. Thanks!

(the horned wooly hoody made me think of a scrap of fiction I wrote years ago.)

The world isn’t lacking in monsters, the world isn’t lacking in children who love monsters, the world is lacking in monsters who love children. The world is also kind of short on delightfully monstrous children. Digital television hasn’t opened up new colors- the coming of the new age forced us into black and white boxes. Monsters were divorced from closets and under beds, and eventually children will stop looking for them. And what happens to children who stop looking for monsters in the closet? They grow up and start hunting monsters.
So spill the tinker toys, a couple under the bed, because monsters were meant for breathing down the necks of little girls. And little boys were meant for being afraid of the woods when it gets too dark. When they get tall and grow hair on their faces, the boys will look for the glinting eyes, and when they see them, the smell of the woods will flood back and the pound of their hearts in their ears, the rush of adrenaline. Tall girls will have learned a trick or two from the monsters in with the coats and dress clothes- will smile with teeth like vicious knives when they feel the breath of a true monster. Tall boys and girls who knew monsters once, know how to play.
There is a continuum. We do not all fall into the blacks and whites of those who know monsters and those who
grew up into a hatred for the beasts. I myself, have yet to give up waiting for a monster in my closet- perched in the dark, blowing smoke rings and watching with sharpened teeth and flickering tongue. I refuse to grow up until I’ve called upon a Jabberwock.

So it wasn’t me but a friend who happened to be out one night with his little Yorkie. We live in the mountains and there are quite a few animals in the area. My friend had a few Yorkies at the time and had just recently lost one. They had assumed it had either run away or had been picked up by a passerby so instead of leaving the dog to run out and do it’s own thing he decided to walk her himself.

They had gone maybe a mile or so down the path through the woods when the dog lagged behind to do it’s business on the side of the road. My buddy was a bit preoccupied and wasn’t paying much attention when suddenly he felt the leash go taught. He figured the little yorkie had caught a scent and was trying to pull him along after it when he felt another, much harder, pull. He wheeled around to see his Yorkie about 6 feet off the ground, trying to be carried off by a large owl.

My friend freaked out. He tried yelling at this great night hunter to get it to let go but the bird would have none of that. So, still holding onto the leash as tight as he could he yanked on the dog and bird. The owl lost control and flew down towards my friend who then backhanded the owl which lost it’s grip and then flew away…defeated.

one time, I was riding a unicorn through the forest looking for my lost key. I was talking to my guide, gustavo the garden gnome, when all of the sudden an owl swooped down and picked him up and flew off into the sky.
I never ever found my key and I’m still stuck in the forest.

I remember being out west at Yellowstone, with my parents. We were walking a trail and we’d seen all these moose from afar in this lake the trail wrapped around, but we hadn’t yet seen any close up.
I went around a blind corner in the trail and found myself eye to eye with the largest face I’ve ever seen.
I backed up, quickly.
It swung its head around, taking in everyone who was on the trail, and then, calmly, continued on its way, down the trail from where we’d been, chewing something.
I realized a couple minutes later, that it wasn’t even a full grown moose.

Just the other day I had an encounter with a bird. It was a very brave little starling named George.
I was sitting at a restaurant in Halifax Nova Scotia, enjoying some french fries with a fond friend. My little pal George, with all of his bravado, decided that we wanted to share. He was jealous of our bounty and since it was obviously not our choice as two whether or not we would let him partake, he sat on our table. Staring at me hoping with all the hope he had, that I would be so kind as to lend him use of my hard earned meal. I caved, naturally, but not without a fight. George and I had a standoff. I was just as determined to catch him as he was to get my food, and escape without a trace. So proceeded a fifteen minute stalemate between a Twenty-one year old Male and a Two year old flying, chirping, bird-thing. There I was, food in one hand and the other one poised to scoop George up and hold him. A balance was struck, an equilibrium, where George was too timid to take the food and I couldn’t get close enough to cradle him without him taking flight, lost forever. What next? Another chip. With the potential reward doubled, George could resist no longer, dashing for the food as I closed in on his tiny body. He squirmed and chirped, but I held. He nipped and pecked, but I held. It was difficult at first, but as I collected his wings and legs in close to his body George became docile. I never knew that bids liked to be coddled, just like a child. So there we sat. Man and Bird. Co-existing with a plate of food. Both feeding each other. One with food, the other with curiosity. A dozen or so people had gathered to watch my feat, and were astonished by my patience, tenacity and gentle methods. It was just a bird though. It was just me. We were two beings, together; munching on a plate of fries.

I have a great desire to shave a monkey. Just imagine how it would look. Would it look like some kind of freaky foetus monster? Or maybe it’ll look a two legged rat? Who knows. I want to find out. Anyone has a monkey to lend me?

When I was 12, I finally managed to convince my momma that it was due time for me to have a kitten. So we went to the ASPCA, and my eyes went directly for the scraggly grey tabby. He was previously abused, and came with kennel cough. We wound up both being on the same medication for a little while, except his was bubble gum flavored. It took a very long time to have him become accustomed to us, but one of my main tools of getting him in laps, or for a cuddle? Fleece! 8 years later, he is still obsessed with it and will not leave me alone if I’m wearing something especially fuzzy. Could you just imagine the cute of me wearing this with a fat, fuzzy, grey tabby attached to it at all times?

Chris loved animals. One day he found a tiny baby possum. He took it to the animal shelter, because he physically touched it they wouldn’t take it. He decided to become its dad. would bring it to work everyday, it would crawl up into his long hair, it would perch on his cubicle. it got really really big. Now mature he had a huge outside cage for it. It escaped regularly and eventually had its own babies. Chris now has too many possums but loves them. They climb into his large avocado tree and hang out.

So we were at camp and walking along a steep trail. We were all trying to take it slow and not slide all the way down the hill, so we were going from tree to tree, using them to stop us. A friend of mine was in the front and went to lean on a tree…which she promptly pushed over. (yeah, a dead but very large tree) Under said tree was a snake and honestly if we all werent’ laughing to s hard, we would have probably have seen her race down the hill at break-neck speed, rather than just heard the rocks under her feet. From then on, we all called her Lumberjack Jen.

I am the extremest of Extreme Hunter hunters.

Racine Rabbinowitz was a striking black rabbit with a white fur star on her chest. Racine was a very resourceful bunny. We returned from Holiday shopping one evening to find Racine in the middle of the lving room nuzzling the gold pear ornament from the top of the Christmas tree, rolling it around on the floor with her nose. None of the other ornaments were disturbed. Only the golden pear from the highest branches near the white Christmas star at the top.

We were soon challenged to find fresh suitable naming conventions; pop icons, names in the news and anything that came to mind in sets: Bosco and Admira, Jasmine, Darjeeling and Oolong, Priscilla, Roscoe, Butch, Pattie, Maxine and Laverne, New York, Chance, Real, T-Bone, Whiteboy, Pootie, Goldie, Voltaire, Tyra, Nole, J. Alexander, Nigel, Kimora, Jaslene, Witney, McKey, Eva Pigford, Gertrude and Alice B. Rabbinowitz.

Survived by Racine, ShagMaster, Liqurious and NotCot Rabbinowitz and their little chihuahua, Flauta Flonase, of the home.

Years ago, friends of mine gave me the nickname : Wumpi the sunshine Possum. Then i met the most wonderful guy on earth… who was living in another country. As a love letter, one month after, he sent me a possum plush and now we’re living happilly together (ever after, and then they had tons of baby possums)

Just had to put our family dog down, so lets allow this story to keep his legacy going…

I grew up in the hills outside of South Bay LA (literally on a hill), and so at the edge of our front lawn you looked out toward the ocean / canyon and couldn’t really see much to the right, left or below our property. When the infamous Good Year blimp would pass through our view from the lawn, our dog would go tearing out to the edge and bark like crazy to try to scare it off. He truly thought he was one tough dog. Once the blimp was out of peripheral vision, he did a triumphant ‘shuffle dance’ before retreating back to the house. The dance would go on for a good few minutes.

It was classic. And, guests absolutely loved the spectacle.

RIP Charlie, we will miss you!

In high school I bought two hamsters for my boyfriend and we secretly kept them from his parents. They were two boys that we named Norbert and Dag from the tv show The Angry Beavers. He kept them in his bathroom that was connected to his room. Well he had them for about two or three months and he was getting concerned because the two of them started keeping their distance from each other while in their cage. If Norbert tried to visit Dag in his side of the cage Dag would viciously attack him. One day while I was playing video games he cleaned out their cage. As he picked up the cage all these little things came out! He started screaming louder and louder. I looked over and realized the store had mixed up and given us a male and female. His mom came running in his room and freaked.

A bird pooped on my head once when I was a little kid :(

So here it is … i was driving to Stetler (Alberta) this past weekend and there was a deer on a middle of the road, didnt want to go to the ditch and only saw him seconds before i heat him…i think it was so cold that night that he frose on a road…pour deer and my pour car….so i was thinking that it is getting cold here and that cool jacket would make me warm in a cold night remembering that dear deer!

i live in the mountains in the northen norway. and when i go out at the summer to play whit the bears, i just dont feel that i’m on of them.
The always say that i don’t talk, and look like them. nut if i get a Rocket World bear hoddie. i will never ever feel out side of the group.

I live in DC and I love seeing people wearing fun things! I could be the urban bear :)

MOST ADVENTUROUS ANIMAL STORY (with pictures)

I was walking in West Hollywood on Halloween when I saw this awesome woman fully decked out in a tiger costume.. at a second glance I realized that her skin tight costume was actually just a brilliant paint job. Everyone was taking pictures of her orange, striped vajayjay but I have one that is more PG (her friend is also painted)

http://img147.imageshack.us/img147/4753/dsc07374oj5.jpg

Talk about wild animals! Please offer me this hoodie because I know more than anyone that wild beasts should be clothed!

When I was in elementary school we moved to a house that had a large palm tree out front. Our cat a feisty manx we had found on the street when I was 5 (the options were pizza and no cat or tuna and cat, despite my love for pizza I picked cat) had a tendency to go off on his own, but we hadn’t seen him for a while… Then my father heard meowing coming from the large palm tree! Well apparently firemen no longer rescue cats from trees, so my dad put a very tall ladder up and tried his hardest to coax the cat from the tree- then he had the idea to get a paper bag for the cat to jump into still no luck… I had the bright idea to put cat food inside the bag, and the kitty just leapt in!
hoodie hoodie hoodie

When rescued our kitten, Orson, from the pound, he appeared to have a broken tail. We chose him because the folks who worked at the pound told us he might get put down because of the injury, which had not yet been treated. So we adopted him and the next morning we took him to the vet. They said they had to shave the tail to see the injury properly and whisked him off to a back room to do the shaving. A few minutes later we heard a short scream. A few minutes after that the vet returned to where we were waiting to tell us that Orson’s tail had fallen off. Apparently the matted fur was the only thing holding it on. After a little surgery to clean things up, Orson now has an adorable little 2 inch nubbin where his tail used to be. We think he is all the cuter for it.

It had been a year since our beloved Malamute had died so I figured it was time for a new addition to the house. I decided that I’d get a Labrador Retriever. It’s a breed I’d never owned but for whatever crazy reason, I had become fascinated with the idea of the whole retriever thing. No, I’m not a hunter but I quickly found that there were these contests, “field trials”, where these dogs could compete. So, I’ve never owned a lab, have no real need for a lab beyond a companion and pet, and beyond “sit” & “shake” have not real experience training a dog. Awesome. I’m all in.

So I get the dog and everything’s going along fine for the first year. Most of that time is spent on the basics of going to the bathroom outside, not chewing up my underwear, cell phones, or shoes. I had been working on some basics of retrieving: I toss a “bumper” (hot-dog shaped canvass bag), Tanner runs and picks it up, and I reel him back in with the 20 foot leash I’ve attached to him yelling with all the enthusiasm I can muster, “Here! Good boy!” After going through this little game of “toss and reel” I begin to feel more like some ranch hand trying to grab hold of a pissed off bull than a dog trainer, but then again, I don’t really know anything about either of the activities to comment.

So I continue to follow the myriad of retriever training books and we keep at it. At about a year and a half old, Tanner is now around 80 lbs. and solid muscle. I’m feeling pretty good about myself since he’ll now sit and stay while I toss the bumper for him to fetch. Admittedly, getting him to stay while watching the bumper arc out away from us is tough. He sits there, squirming his butt around, all tensed and coiled ready to go. Reminds me of a top-fuel dragster, revving its engine, waiting for that green light and when he gets it, he’s gone, the smoke and smell of burning rubber behind him. And although he’s retrieving well, I still keep him on a 25’ lead (leash) because while he’s got the fetching part down, he’s still a little confused on the whole “take the bumper back to my trainer” thing. So essentially, without a leash it becomes more of a fetch and then run around the neighborhood as fast as possible while eluding capture session. Fun for Tanner, not fun for me.

So during one of our sessions, I decide to really let him stretch his legs out. I give the bumper a good toss, watching it arc silently through the air and finally land about 40 feet away from where we’re standing. Tanner is sitting next to me, to my left. I’ve got the 25 foot lead laid out behind him, one end clipped to his collar, the other wrapped around my wrist. I let him sit, fidget, and twitch for about 30 seconds, his eyes glued to the bumper. Finally I give him the command, “Fetch!” and off he goes and before I can blink he’s already halfway to the bumper and has accelerated to top speed. It’s about that time I notice that there’s really not that much slack left in the lead. As Tanner gets about 2/3 of the way there, I realize that I’ve got 25 feet of nylon rope connecting me to that freight train of a yellow lab BUT I had inadvertently thrown the bumper out about 40 feet and I instantly determine that what is about to happen is going to be sudden, violent, and potentially very painful, and probably all for me since I am merely standing still, on two feet, and he’s charging full speed ahead running on four very powerful pistons. I have just enough time to lean back a bit but just before I can grab the lead with my other hand, I suddenly feel my arm yanked straight out in front of me and all my weight begin to shift forward.

The actual details of what happened I can only describe based on what I felt since my eyes closed before my feet left the ground and there were no neighbors around to provide an eye witness account. My best recollection is that after my arm was yanked forward and my feet left the ground, I experienced a sense of temporary weightlessness and for a fraction of a second it was actually all very peaceful, like a kite swaying on the end of a string. But just as suddenly I felt the ground again, but this time with my face and left shoulder as I came crashing down. Apparently 180 pound men do not make great kites, something about the lack of aerodynamics I believe. Anyway, I hit the ground and hit it hard and as I did I felt myself rolling several times across the ground before my forward momentum allowed me to pop back up to my feet quickly.

I stood there, dazed but coherent. I looked to where Tanner was and he was looking at me over his shoulder, bumper in mouth. He seemed fine and unfazed. I then turned to look at where I had just been standing and figured out that between my short flight and rolling across the ground I had actually traveled about 12-15 feet. I hurt, all over but despite all that all I could think about was “I wonder how far I actually traveled through the air?”.

After 3 years, Tanner is retired from the retrieving game. From time to time, we’ll go to the park with a few bumpers, but no lead, just for fun but we both agree that we’re both better off with his new career as companion and family pet.

So I commented already, but I just wanted to say that the creature hoodie makes for a great halloween costume. If you buy a spandex face mask and paint teeth onto it, you can have a black mouth with shiny bear teath. And then if you buy a leather collar, and leash, from any BDSM store, you can be a trained bear in seconds flat.

Also everyone tends to figure out that you went to a BDSM shop for the parts to your costume, because who makes that sort of leash for dogs? And the night only gets better.

Or better even, if your wife is in Vet school she’ll ask you to go to her ology parties and dress up as the “boner” virus. Making you wear a pink phallous all night (that happened to vibrate), and having women want to touch it. Veterinarians are weird.

So what do you do when your confronted by a bear. Two options, 1. Turn around wave arms make loud noises 2. Keep going, become one of those people you watch on the dicoverey channel who get mauled by bears while you sitting there on your couch saying he should’ve turned around made loud noises. Well I opted for choice two, not because me and my friend are bad asses, but I held a pretty big stick, and the intrigue is overwhelming. So to conclude, we walked on, the bear hid, and all was usuall, but for next time if I’m wearing this hoodie, the bear would probably invite me in for tea and biscuits with jam, and wouldn’t that be a way better story to hear…

So this one time when I was in highschool, a few friends and I were hanging out in this park, hiking around on the trails. Due to events that are a little, um, hazy, we got lost…

quick note: DON’T wander off the trail if you don’t have your senses about you.

Anyway, after about an hour, we made our way to this open clearing. Man, were we happy… and then it happened. We spotted a wild turkey just chilling out. I have to say, cool thing to see when you’re from the suburbs. Well, cool until it sees you. After the turkey saw us, it started gobbling and running at us. Scary stuff. Even scarier when it bit off a piece of my buddy’s jeans. We ended up getting out of there ok, but believe me, I will never look at Thanksgiving dinner the same way.

… If only we were sporting some Rocket World Shag Master Creature Hoodies, we could’ve pretended to be bears (or horned monsters) and scared it off… or we could’ve just gone fishing with our *bear* hands, or hibernated.

I should be watching my buddies dogs this week… Little does he know I hired a kid down the street to do it for me!!! Lets just say I made a cool $200!!!

Once when i was going to meet some friends for a night mountain bike ride in the foothills of the Bay Area. I cut through a park and heard something in the leaves to my right. I kept moving and the sound followed. I wasn’t scare just concerned that the little bugger might catch up to me, hopefully it was not a skunk. I moved on and I kept hearing the rustling in the leaves as I went. Eventually the sound retreated.

Perhaps ones of the most adorably fuzzy things I have stumbled upon recently.

I wish I had one of these when I was stationed in Iraq. Showing up to guard duty with the devil horns would have been priceless. The only animals we had available for pets were just as horrible as the experience; however, we did end up having a collection- Camel Spiders in old coffee urn terrariums, Scorpions in water bottle habitats, Rats in our C-huts and Rabid Dogs roaming the FOB.

OMG This fleece is everything an upstate NY college graphic designer needs to fight off the winter blues!!

So my deep dark animal secret is simple. I have a very short attention span.. BUT I think reptiles are cool.

So, wouldn’t it be awesome to have your own dragon?! The kind that can ride on your shoulder and make you feel like the potential for sword wielding danger is around every corner?! I sure thought so. I prepared for my dragon… built him a bad-a$$ habitat smack dab in the middle or my living room and brought him home. A baby bearded dragon, Leroy.

Well, turns out reptiles don’t do so much.. being cold blooded and all. Especially bearded dragons. He rode around on my shoulder just fine but I had to watch out for his posturing or I would get dragon poo all down my back! YUCK! Needless to say, I found Leroy a new home with a student at Penn State. His name is Harley now and I am back to entertaining myself with imaginary pets and trying not to feel too entirely guilty that I actually got rid of a pet because it was boring!

I have a talking dog!

I ask him “What covers a house?”, he answers “Roof!”

I ask him “How does sandpaper feel?”, he answers “Rough!”

I ask him “Who was the greatest baseball player of all time?”, he answers “Ruth!”

I ask him “What’s the coolest site on the net?”, he answers “Notcot!”

ZOMG!! Those are awesome!! I’ve had to crow like a rooster in front of a live audience, does that help the cause at all?

Alright a story huh. Okay, this ones not about any wild animal but here’s a shot. When i was smaller I use to sleep downstairs in my sisters room in the summer because it was cooler down there. Our cat Fidget always came with us. In the middle of the night I went to get a drink of water upstairs, and when i was coming down Fidget was in the hallway. He stopped in his tracks when he saw me and I did the same. Then I jumped to scare him and sent him running back into my sisters room. He tried to run under her bed but there bars there and he ran right into one, CONK.
It was really funny

this has to be the cutest, most fun and funtional hoodie i’ve seen. :o) how awesome!

I was working in Kenya with an NGO and on one of our weekends off we headed to the coast to soak up some of the Indian Ocean. The coast was full of monkeys, they’d follow you, they’d steal anything they could. Now keep in mind these monkeys were not much bigger than a toy poodle so they weren’t nearly as scary as baboons (that’s another story all together). One of the female staff was in the kitchen cutting up some fresh fruit (mangos, passion fruit, pineapple) for our breakfast. It was then that I heard her screaming, I jumped up and ran through our cottage and there she was holding the bowl of fruit while two small monkeys screeched and lunged at her.

I figured that my 6’2 frame with an intense yell and flailing arms would scare them off. I mean I had intimidated large angry dogs before. I’m sure these monkeys would turn tail and run. I unleashed a furious roar, the monkeys paused, looked at me with a “you’ve got to be freaking kidding me” and then proceeded to call my bluff.

“reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee” yelled one of the monkeys and lunged at us with more intent then before.

Having realized that I quickly needed to find some other way to fend of these primate attackers. I scanned the kitchen like I was Jack Bauer of the Jungle, my eyes settled on a pot of water that was sitting on the counter. It was worth a try.

I grabbed the pot and tossed the water at them. This time the Monkeys, realizing they were facing a formidable foe scrambled to stay dry, one leaving out the window and the other monkey taking the brunt of the gallon of water, it knocked him off his feet. He was confused, beaten, and soaked. He quickly bolted out of the door. My heart returned to a normal heart rate and I was relieved that I was not going to have to go toe to toe with them.

Well, actually, the story is not about bears, but it’s very funny.

A friend of my mom had a dog, American spaniel. These dogs like to eat junk and can eat all the time they see food. It’s OK for them if it’s not a food actually.
It was in Russia, in the period of time, when the stores were empty. Moms friend had a hobby — books construction (i don’t know how to say it more correctly). He bought 2,5 kilos of dry glue, made of animals bones, and left the bag with clue over the door. Of course, his dog sniffed the smell of the bones and ate all 2,5 kilos of glue in a minute! After that, dog felt very sick. Everyone thought he will die, but for two weeks poor dog drank only water and pooed glue for two weeks. After all, when the clue went away he felt himself much better.

Here’s an other story about this funny dog. He liked tomatoes very much, but eating tomatoes was strictly prohibited for him. But he found a way how to eat tomatoes without being punished: he took tomato and hid it in the bed. Not under the bed. And when everyone had went to bed, hid under the cover and ate tomato.

Sorry, for english guys. I’m still learning it :)

Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, Father, me dog is dead. Could ya’ be saying’ A mass for the poor creature?’

Father Patrick replied, ‘I’m afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there’s no tellin’ what they believe. Maybe they’ll do something for the creature.’

Muldoon said, ‘I’ll go right away Father. Do ya’ think 5,000€ is enough to donate to them for the service?’

Father Patrick exclaimed, ‘Sweet Mary and Joseph. Why didn’t ya tell me the dog was Catholic?’

My long story kicks all their long stories’ asses….
And just for good measure, mine’s short!

p.s. OooPps! my story just kicked another story’s ass just now.

I really dislike animals but I love this!!!

My friend was driving back home down a country lane one evening with two of her friends in the car. Next thing she knows is a deer jumps out of the hedge and onto the bonnet of the car scaring the crap out of them. They get out and find that the stag is dead and the car is a write off due to the engine damage. It is at this point the driver and front passenger realize that the third friend is still in the car screaming her head off. She was a vegetarian. LoL. Not that funny for the third friend but me and the driver had a right laugh about it.

My grandparents live in the hills where wildlife is mostly abundant for a suburban neighborhood. It would not be unlikely for you to see a lone coyote, a rabid raccoon, or a ratty opossum. One night, as my family was driving up the hill, the car’s headlights struck something peculiar with its beam. From where we were, it appeared to be a small carpet, rolled up, with a short length of pink rope attached to the end. As we got closer, we found out that it was an opossum who was crossing the road with a few oranges. When it saw the car coming, it was stunned and froze. As he stood in shock, he dropped the oranges. As the oranges rolled down the hill, the opossum took off to the other side of the street. When we finally drove away after laughing hard enough to pee out pants, I looked out the back window, and watched as the opossum sheepishly scurried after the runaway oranges.

this would be dope to wear while boarding

I got a cocker spaniel last year. His name is scout and I love him :)

I’m a green italian volunteer, i live near Milan. And where i live there’s a real Wild park with a lot of wild animals like boars & deers.
After two month of trying i’ve made a photo to a Martes Martes, my pic is the first clue after 130 years of the real coming back of this mammal out of Alps, every friday i’m out in the wood in search of new clue’s and is also snowy this week.I’m cold….. brrrrrrr

The other day a family of ducklings were on the wrong side of the street—far away from a happy pond. So a bunch of us got together and walked the ducks to the pond…across 8 lanes of traffic. Stopping traffic for a family of ducks on one of the busiest streets in my city was awesome.

I was in the far east of Russia over the summer and during a walk i came across a small black bird walking next to the path. I slowed down to look at the bird as he was not frightened by my presence as most wild birds would be. I stood there for a few moments curiously looking at him and then all of a sudden i heard some loud squacking overhead. I turned and saw a MUCH larger version of the same breed and he was MAD. I quickly realized this the daddy bird and i had been to close to his baby bird who was learning to fly. Not wanting to upset the bird family i started to walk away but i must not have been fast enough as the daddy bird literally started dive bombing at my head. he came with in inches of my head and i could feel the wind of his wings on my neck. I started to move much quicker after that but he dove at me 3 more times each time i had to physically duck down as I ran to not get pecked and clawed. SO that’s my story about getting dive bombed by a Russian Crow.

When I was little my twin sister and I were walking to school and this guy comes running out of the town hardware store (we lived in a tiny town), and scooped us up one under each arm and ran us back into the store. We were shocked and we asked what was going on but when we looked out the big glass window at the front of the store we could see the reason. A black bear had been stalking us. We were at the tail end of winter and someone had apparently woken up early from hibernation and hadn’t found anything to eat and had wandered into town. The town had bear proof trash cans most places to discourage bears so he or she had gotten a bit bold and was about to snag a small snack from the sidewalk.

Seeing this unique coat suddenly transported me back to my younger days when I chanced to have a friend named Fuzzy.

Now, it should come as no surprise that my companion Fuzzy was a bear; however the peculiarities did not end there for my ursine friend. You see, the unfortunate truth about Fuzzy was that, unlike most of his fellow bears, he himself had not a hair on his body.

Times were hard for my friend Fuzzy. In his hours of need, faced with alienation at ridicule at the hands of the other bears, I always tried to be there for him. Fuzzy never failed to shock me with how care-free and strong-spirited he could be. Indeed, after years of companionship I realized I had learned more from his confident ways then I ever could from my own sheltered lifestyle.

To this day, I think back to my old friend Fuzzy. I feel that we all could benefit from the extra layer of pride and comfort that a thick coat provides; and yet my dearest most brave-hearted friend Fuzzy proved to me that true pride comes from within. After all, he wasn’t very fuzzy at all, now was he?

love the thumb holes

One summer while backpacking in Mexico, I was walking the beach with my (then) boyfriend at midnight when suddenly we hear the barking of at least 6 dogs!! It sounded like the barking was coming toward us so my boyfriend, a very short (about 5’3”) Mexican, picked up a stick that was at least twice his size and wielded it toward the dogs shouting “WHO’S THERE” in Spanish. Just then, a flashlight comes on, scans us up and down, turns off and the dogs stop barking at us….needless to say, we ran!

5 minutes later we’re walking back to our camp ground (on the freeway) and because we’re in the middle of nowhereland Mexico, there were no street lights and the only time you could see anything was when a car would pass. So we’re walking along and all of a sudden I hear a loud CRUNCH under my feet…..in that minute, a trucker passed….I had unwillingly killed a blue crab, who was with other crabs. Being a good vegetarian, I cried the rest of the night.

Three days later, on the OTHER coast of Mexico, we’re staying in a hotel without window panes….suddenly in the middle of the night, walks in this crab and starts crawling up the curtain toward me…..I was CONVINCED this crab was the brother/mother/cousin twice removed of the crab I killed and again, I cried all night for the poor dead crab, expecting to be eaten alive by his vengeful family.

the end.

My animal/creature story:

I had three adorable pet madagascar hissing cockroaches: Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch, and Baby Love. One evening, however, I accidentally left the lid to their terrarium slightly agape, and Baby Love escaped. After initial hesitation at freaking out my house-mates, I told them, and we all kept our eyes peeled for 2 months for Baby Love.

But it was winter and dry, and I didn’t have high hopes for Baby Love’s survival in the extra-terrarium wilds of our house. Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches, being from Madagascar, enjoy humid tropical weather and forage for fruit and vegetable matter on the jungle floor. What would he eat? Where would he get water? Who would give him flour-baths to get rid of his mites? Would would lovingly switch on the electric blanket under his terrarium to make him snuggly at night and give him happy dreams?

Then, one day, I was in my kitchen, rustling through a paper-bag I store dry foods in, and lo and behold! There was Baby Love! Alive and well! Cockroaches truly are very very hardy creatures.

Did you know: Cops don’t like people walking into gas stations in dragon costumes in July.

How I learned this: Guess.

Sometimes the most amusing stories don’t need words, just a photo like this…
The worst behaved and arguably the most hideous Chihuahua, ever. I named her Courtney Love, for obvious reasons; she’s a ankle-biting train wreck!

http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=26252330&albumID=0&imageID=1848255

I NEED THAT JACKET MORE THAN AMY WHINEHOUSE NEEDS AN INTERVENTION!

I was thinking of treating myself to a peacoat for christmas…but now you show this….

I have the best animal story. Over the summer I went up to Mammoth, and then Yosemite to do some hiking and stuff. I went hiking along a bunch of trails with a couple friends in Yosemite national park, when we stopped by a little river with really cool waterfalls. My friends decided to take a swim, but since it was cold I refrained. They took off most of their clothes while I went down the river to take some pictures of the little waterfalls, when I came back, a bear, a real life bear was attacking their clothes for food while they looked on in horror from the water as their clothes were being destroyed! They were screaming and trying to get it to run away, but it didnt budge, its like it didnt even notice them, (i was hiding behind a rock, because im a great friend who doesnt want to be eaten). A family started to walk up from where I was, with their 3 little blonde haired kids, and they notice the bear, the dad was actually a ranger at the park and knew how to scare off the bear, the bear noticed them and ran off. My friends were 98% naked, in freezing water, with 3 kids under 8 watching them as I ran to access the damage of their clothes, all the pants were torn open. They got dressed when the kids left and we walked all the way back to the car. It looked like we had a very very raunchy “party” in the woods from where the giant holes in their pants were. I laughed so hard on the way back home because of how dumb they were….the lessoned learned is to never ever swim in a river where fish swim, especially if your clothes on the beach are filled with doritos and powerbars.

Ok, so about seven or eight years ago, I was about twenty-five, and I decided I was going to make a video to try and get on Survivor. You know, the “reality” show. Anyway, my parents have lots of wooded land behind their house, so I decided that would be a great place to do my thing. At one point in the video, I set the camera up on a little sand bar in a wide creek. As I was setting up, I noticed a pair of Canadian Geese a little way away from where I was and thought nothing of it. It didn’t occur to me that I may be invading their space until it was too late. So once the camera is ready, I was trying to figure out exactly what to shoot when I heard this loud buzzing noise. It sounded like a giant bee, and it was instantly disturbing. I turned to look, and there was this goose dive bombing me from the sky. It was swooping towards me, wings buzzing, and it was hissing as it came. If you have never been hissed at by a goose, you really can’t understand how downright wrong it is. At this point, it would be great if I could truthfully say I stood my ground, chucked a rock at it, or even just slapped it in the head as it came for me. No such luck. I pretty much did the “duck and cover”, and I think I may have been screaming like a ten year old girl too. Thankfully, not only was nobody around, the camera wasn’t rolling. Then again, I kind of wish I did have the footage. Oh well. Suffice it to say, the goose and I now had an understanding, and I kept my distance. But now that I’ve seen the Rocket World Shag Master Creature Hoodie, I’m pretty sure no stupid goose would mess with me with it on. By giving it to me, you could be saving my life. At the very least, I could win back a cool point or two.

That’s a cute hoodie! May I have one?..

I have a friend.
He has a cat.
His cat has a really high tech, expensive litter box.

This particular litter box has a sort of comb which scrapes through the litter and collects the poop 5 minutes after the cat breaks the sensor. The poop is then discarded into a little replaceable box, unfortunately, however, my friend has no sense of smell. So he doesn’t change it for weeks on end. His wife comes in to the room, and she says, man, you’ve GOT to change that litter box. And he said, oh, I’ll do it tomorrow. The cat had just pooped. So, as this conversation takes place, the comb starts moving down the track, and apparently, some cat poop had gotten stuck. So it made this loud, obscene noise, like a rusty gate. The comb shot that cat poop which actually hit the CEILING. …Ok, I’ll change the litter box.

sophomore year of highschool i rented a panda costume for a couple days. i shot photos riding around in the trunk of a car, in a shopping cart, on a swing, and pretty much everywhere else that i could think of. it was amazing.

awesome!!!!

When I was a young child, I would spend my weekends with my father and on occassion we would go to the house in the country. One such weekend, my friend Jasper and I went venturing into the woods up the hill from the house. Being such amazing adventurers we though we were, we thought we’d scale a huge hillside and wander off into the hills. In order to get up this hill we had to scale a rock cliff side but didn’t really think about how we were going to get down and that was going to bit us in the back later.

Once arriving to the top of the hillside, we found that the top was level and full of trees and went waaaay back into the forest. Jasper and I wandered back through the trees. Soon we came to a clearing that seemed a bit eerie. I wanted to act cool, but it became apparent that we shared that worry and decided to go back. Just as we turned around we heard a noise of branches and dried pine needles being stepped on and we froze. We turned around and saw a bear walking just behind the treeline on the opposite side of the clearing. Jasper and I freaked out. We looked at each other and Jasper took off leaving me behind; Not for long. I soon joined him neck in neck dashing through the trees back to the house.

Both of us swore we heard the bear dashing behind us. We both looked back thinking we saw a huge brown/black blur charging in our direction, of course it was most likely the shade and areas of dense foliage but in the heat of the moment all we thought was, BEAR!!!!

We quickly came to the edge of the cliff and with the fear still pulsing through our veins, we desperately clamored for the quickest way down the cliff. From the top it looked much higher but with the chance of being eaten alive or breaking a leg, the leg was far less worrisome. Jasper took the first leap and landed in a pile of leaves and rubble. He seemed unscathed and I decided to follow behind. I heard Jasper yelling and of course with the adrenaline pulsing, I thought I heard him yell “Bear!” and I launched off the edge. I landed on the same pile but caught a larger rock underneath the smaller debris and came away with a huge gash. I didn’t care. We were safe and away from danger. We jogged back to the bridge leading back to the house and passed out on the couch just as lunch was being made up. We were safe. We were not eaten and could brag that we outran a bear. We were true adventurers.

A friend of mine has one of their hoodies. They are pretty damn awesome.
Here’s hoping I win.
:)

fuzzy is nice

I don’t have any good animal stories… a dog bit my friend in both of her legs the other day? She was just hanging out outside, and the dog was playing, and it ran up and bit her. Pretty lame. I still like dogs in general, though.

I plan on using this to sneak up on unsuspecting citizens and scare them to death. Here’s how I plan on it going.

ME: *puts hoodie on*
ME: Lurks around a Popeye’s chicken parking lot
PEOPLE: Aw shit what the fuck is that a bear?!

Then I get shot.

well, there were bears here once but now they are extinct. so if my guy will have one we could start repopulating he country…

I love the creature hoodies, that’s why I bought one. Seriously, stop giving away stuff I already spent money on.

I can only imagine sitting around the campfire at my family’s cottage freaking out the people on the other side of the lake…awesome hoodie!

I have a cat.

But that’s not the story.

The story is that I started with 3 kittens. One tried to run across the road and got pancaked by a car. The second tried to sleep in the engine bay of my family car and jumped out when we were driving it. It got pancaked as well.

The remaining cat knows that because he’s the only one left we’re all obliged to be extra nice to him. So every night at 3 or 4 he comes to my door and claws at it asking to be let him.

I can’t say no because he’s the boss.

If I had that hoodie I’m sure I could show him who the real boss of the house is.

I had a hamster once, it’s name was Snuggles. The first and only time I tried to pet it it latched onto my finger with its teeth that I had to shake it off. Then the bleeding started… My finger healed eventually but my heart never did.

When we were camping we were careful to pack up all food and lock it in the car at night.. Well all except my 5 pound bag of peanuts by the campfire. About 5 in the morning something had gotten into it and was sniffing around our friends tent (right next to ours). The couple in the tent were woken by the sniffing and she was hysterical, crying, freaking out, etc! They eventually woke us up and it was quite amusing considering they went all these extra lengths zip-locking anything scented, etc and I kept all mine in my tent. It was her first time camping and she had been reading up on how to scare away bears that previous night while at the campfire. They slept in the car the next night. Guess you had to be there..

As a child, my older brothers would try to convince me that deer were bloodthirsty killing machines. I’d have nightmares about red-eyed carnivorous deer rattling their antlers against my windows, floating menacingly in mid-air outside of our house.

One year in Colorado at a family cabin they took it to another level entirely, dismounting a deer head from above the mantle and rattling the antlers against my bedroom in the night. But instead of standing idly by I swung the door into them and flew into the crowd, fists flying. I’d blackened two eyes and bloodied a nose by the time our parents could intervene, and we had to glue one of the deer’s antlers back into place before leaving the cabin.

I’ve still never shaken the deer-fear, though.

in my family we exchange names for Christmas….This year I have to buy for my 27 yr old cousin. He’s bringing a girl home for the Holidays this year….Since I only get to see him once a year….he would be forced to wear this.. my family would never let him live it down….so it would be so fun to give this to him…..i know he will seek revenge…but this is just too good

To be fair, this animal is fictitious, but the effect it had was all too real.

I used to work at a summer camp high up in the Sierras every summer up until the last summer before college. One of the old folklore stories we used to tell the campers was about the Grog. What is a Grog, you ask? A Grog is a man-sized frog. The story of its birth went like thus:

Shortly after World War Two, there was an accident involving a B-17 bomber that had crash landed onto the large reservoir next to camp during the winter. At the time of the incident, the water level had been lowered and a layer of ice had formed on top of the lake. The pilot of the B-17 had mistaken the lake for a large meadow and thought he could land atop it. Once the aircraft had come to a stop at the deepest end of the lake, it broke through the relatively thin ice and sank to the depths below. Two of the crew had managed to escape the sinking plane and survived the incident, while two did not. (The entire story of the bomber and it’s crew is true except…) The only thing not admitted in the newspaper articles that followed the Air Force’s accident was that the bomber was secretly carrying a payload of enriched uranium to be used in future atomic weapons development. This radioactive material leaked from it’s containers at the bottom of the lake and contaminated the water supply of all the animal life living around the lake.

Special forces units were dispatched to deal with the strange mutations that followed the contamination. We had two-headed bears, elephant sized deer, and all sorts of anomolies in size and viciousness. Everything was successfully eradicated except for one beast: the Grog. It had the ability to silently slip back into the inky water from which it came to escape the searches and purging done by the armed forces.

To this day the Grog will climb out of the alpine lake and roam the woods searching for appropriately sized prey. It was for this reason that the camp installed red flood lights at the campfire bowl facing the lake. They are turned on to deter the Grog from entering the camp. (In reality the lights are used to guide the late-night barge to the docks.)

The best part of the story lies not in how audacious it is to the adults (as you watch them roll their eyes when telling), but how believable it is for the really young campers. We teach the “buddy-system” and tell the kids not to go anywhere without a buddy. Unfortunately, one summer one of the staff told the story of the Grog so well that a kid in a large cabin full of fellow campers needed to use the restroom late one night. Every other child refused to leave the safety of the cabin to accompany him. Let’s just say, we had a mess to deal with the next morning.

I moved in with my mom and stepdad at the age of 14, in Lyle, WA. They lived up on the top of a hill outside of Lyle where there were bears, mountain lions, coyotes, owls, eagles, and of course, snakes. We learned growing up to always always always run over snakes and kill them. Why? Because they were probably rattle snakes. Sometimes they would lay across the road and appeared like sticks at night. If you accidentally hit one (or any other animal), the humane thing to do would be to kill it (unless it ran away or was a minor injury).

One night, I was driving home and hit what I thought was a stick in the road. As I kept driving I thought “hmmm…I wonder if that was a snake.” When I got home, my mom told me to go back and check, and run it over if it was. I went back, got out of the car, and heard a lot of rattling and hissing. Damn. I hate killing things. I got back in the car, and proceeded to run the snake over (forward and reverse) a few times. After I checked again to see if it was dead, I went home with a knot in my throat and belly, feeling sick that I had just killed an animal, even if it was poisonous and dangerous.

A bear walked into a bar full of hunters. The bear said to the bartender, “Give me a shot”. I didn’t say he was a smart bear.

“Look at that, a bear mining for coal.”
“Well, I never.”

Our dog Abbie was a beautiful white sled dog, fond of late night walks. My fiancee and I would walk her without a leash down our quiet country road while holding hands and debriefing about our days. It was Halloween night (really, we’re not making this up), and Abbie darted off to investigate a shuffling in the bushes. We heard a sharp hiss and a yelp—a penetrating odor like a face full of burning tires mixed with rancid grapefruit revealed the identity of the creature. Abbie took a direct hit of skunk in the face and another in the side. She was hard to catch as she lurched around frantically rubbing her face into the grass.

Abbie always slept by the side of our bed. Desperate for a remedy, we scoured our cupboards for tomato juice, and finding none, thanked our lucky stars for a can of V-8. Now imagine us squatting on our front lawn, drenching our long-haired dog with blood-like V-8 juice on Halloween night. We would’ve been laughing if it hadn’t reeked so gaggingly bad. What we hadn’t considered was that V-8 contains a high proportion of carrot juice, which acts as a semi-permanent orange dye. So our beautiful white dog became mottled orange…for weeks. The fragrance was not diminished in the least. The howling from the front porch was hard to endure that memorable Halloween night.

while i was serving in the Marine Corps i spent some time stationed in Iraq. one night, we were doing a convoy security operation out of camp al Taqaddam. i was the driver of an m1114 up-armored hummer. myself and the gunner (John) were the only 2 still awake in our truck. we had just entered through the main gate of camp Fallujah. he traversed his machine gun (mk19 grenade machine gun for those interested) to point forward, as is the standard on base. he was watching the road, to brace for any turns or bumps. we were driving along a straight stretch of road, just inside the inner perimeter fence. suddenly, i saw in the headlights something was running across the road. i yelled my customary “AHH!!” and hit the brakes as to not squash it. a 10,000 pound truck would have done some damage to it. the creature got about half way across in front of us, and dropped its head spun around and ran off into the darkness. John yelled down “What the FUCK was that thing?!?” i yelled back up at him “thank god! i thought i was the only one that saw it.” we talked about it once we arrived at the chow hall and could speak without screaming over the huge diesel engine. we both saw something running upright on 2 legs leaning slightly forward. about 2.5-3 feet tall, a little lower than the top of the trucks hood. it had very small front arms which were kind of pulled up in front of it and a large, boney head. it didn’t have any hair, it a sort of neutral brown, but not smooth like human skin. it was also incredibly fast, John told me he had tried to catch it in the spotlight, but couldn’t find anything in the direction it ran off in. John was convinced that it was some kind of dinosaur, but i’m still not sure what it was.

next time, maybe ill tell you about the dragon i saw on my way back from the Jordanian border… :-)

Kitty was orange, bitter (he lost his tail to a car), and very intelligent.

He didn’t care for extraneous effort but he did love newspaper. One day I’m sitting in the living room and Kitty approaches. On the coffee table sits a runner and upon that an unfolded newspaper and assorted knick-knacks. Kitty walks over, looks up, puts his claws in the runner, and brings the whole thing down. He settles onto the newspaper and promptly falls asleep.

Good night Kitty, wherever your kitty soul is.

Oh and: http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=LQ-jv8g1YVI

I would find it hard to look like a badass in this, but it’s still neat.

Perfect! My brother has a huge mascot-like bear head that he’s worn to a few parties, but he might like this better for every day wear. Anyways, he’s a zookeeper so we have an abundance of animal adventure stories!
My favorite was the day that I visited him at the zoo for my birthday. He gave me a behind-the-scenes tour of the cat house and I got to feed the Sumatran tiger. I shaped a wad of ground meat (ew) into a long cylinder and pushed it through a rigid chain link fence while the tiger ate it right out of my hand! At the end, he wanted more so he put his huge paw up and licked the tips of my fingers. That was one big kitty.

I was pushing my box turtle Garfield on a swing when I was about seven. I used to feed him bugs, lettuce and even snuck bits of pizza out to him. I had a doodle bug on my finger to feed him while he was sitting on this swing and when he bit my finger it was the worst pain I ever felt. I don’t know what ever happened to that guy after I flung him off my finger and ran to my parents.

this would be the perfect attire for me as i commute along the Boise River every morning. it has particularly been cold this past week!

i have an awesome little bird and i have to wear a headband when we hang out or she ll rip my rook piercing out!

so. i saw this and squeeled.

i spent five years working at a theme park ( kings island ) as yogi bear, and loved the whole dress up atmosphere.

this makes me giddy. ugh i want it so bad.

i hope that doesnt make me a creep

Growing up, I lived in an area where there would be LOTS of toads out at night.
Despite the routine ‘poke at the toad-pancake the garbage truck left in front of the house’ though, I just never knew how many there could be.
One night, my best friend at the time and I were laying on the hood of my parents’ old clunky truck, talking about aliens of all things… thoroughly freaking ourselves out as it grew darker and darker.
Deciding it was time to go inside, we moved to climb off the truck… and FROZE.
There was something… no… SOMETHINGS… all over the driveway, bobbing around in the dark.
They. Were. EVERYWHERE.
Bewildered, my friend and I sat there on the hood… What should we do? It was obvious aliens had come to get us!
So we did what any ten-year-olds would do…

Screamed our freakin’ heads off.

Both of our parents came rushing out to see what was murdering their little girls… then laughed at us upon realizing what had happened. The field next to my house was being irrigated, and so all the toads had crawled out of the watery area and onto our property.
We ended up being frustrated that they were just laughing at us and not helping us at all.
Even today, my mom still goes “Remember that time you got trapped by the toads?” when we happen to see one.

We are all animals.

I am known as the mama bear, I spend my free time talking about, drawing and pretending I am a bear. I have even started a website, http://bearattacked.blogspot.com/, where you can submit a photo and I will draw a bear attacking you. Winning this would just add to my obsession. Oh, and feel free to submit a photo!

I have really stupid luck with mockingbirds dive-bombing and flapping on the top of my head. This happens on university campuses and other public places. Actually happened at night with a bat once, too o_o

Maybe bear ears or monster horns will make me more intimidating D:

I moved out into a more rural area to live closer to my boyfriend. Last night we were driving around and there were deer everywhere. I’m not used to hunting season being right in my face, so it was a bit of a shock. My boyfriend told me a story about how his grandpa had a pet coyote and how it was all like a dog and wore a collar and ran around and played with people. Then someone shot it.

Anyway, I have a sweatshirt with bunny ears and a bunny tail. My boyfriend is jealous of it. He needs one of these hoodies. :O

Well, I have no epic stories about bears…BUT, I do have a story about my Filipino mom and a dove.

One day, I came home from school and my mom had trapped a dove in the garage. Later in the evening, she chased it with a broom into a spare cage we had (I don’t know why my family had spare cages…), traumatizing both the dove and me. So…she brought the poor thing into the kitchen, and set the cage next to the dining room table. It was huddled in the corner of the cage; it was so scared!

My mom was in very good spirits. I got excited because I thought we were going to keep it as a pet. My mom told me she was excited because she was going to cook it for dinner.

…Yeah. Luckily, my shrieking and crying convinced her to let it go (AFTER SEVERAL HOURS). I don’t know if this is something that Filipinos do often, but it’s probably just that she’s insane.

***PLEASE PICK ME! It snows every day here and I’m very cold.***

When i was 13 I purchased a giant centipede online (Vietnamese Mau Chau- 9 inches long). I was able to convince my father i was breeding crickets (his food source, only thing visible above ground). Long story short, he wasnt satisfied by the crickets, and escaped…
I was scared out of my mind, not only at the prospect of finding him in my bed but that my parents would find out.
It took a week and one incident of my sister suffering emotional trauma at finding him bee lining toward her to finally catch him.

This is SO great. Looks incredibly warm, and it is so very cold here.

So this one time, my aunt was out walking her dog, in the condo community where she lives. She walks under this tree, and feels something fall on her head. Soon, she discovers that it is a squirrel which has jumped/fallen from the tree onto her head. Far from simply falling off and running away, however, the squirrel has gotten caught in her hair and has to scramble furiously before escaping. My aunt claims that she looked in her neighbor’s glass door and appeared to have a furry hat on. And the best part is, her neighbors (whom she does not know) could totally see the whole thing.

One day me and a friend of mine were skinny dipping in the creek near some train tracks that go through my town. It was all good fun, splashing, swimming whatever, enjoy the nice summer day. Suddenly without warning a whole stampede of cows and horses just ran at us while we were the water. We completely freaked out and swam as fast as we could away from them hoping they wouldnt hurt us. Thankfully they just wanted to cool off and drink the water, and actually didn’t even notice we existed.

one time, a duck flew into my windshield as i was driving. (very slow, 25 mph). it apparently had a death wish.. but as i looked back, it righted itself and waddled away.. =T

Accidental ground hog death.

Once when I was a teenager I was trying to learn how to golf on a local Tucson course. I sliced a shot under a large shrubbery and when I went to retrieve my ball, I encountered a ground hog with a bleeding head injury. He would stagger around and then fall down, get back up, stagger, fall, etc. I felt horrible. I left him there under the shrubbery to die alone in the heat.

I think that the ground hog cursed my golf abilities because, man do I suck at that game.

When i was a kid my uncle bought me a gecko as a birthday gift to piss of his sister, my mom. I named him Bruce and he was a bit of a bastard. One day we found him laying at the bottom of the cage and I thought he was dead. My step-dad pulled him out and attempted CPR. It sprung to life, took one cursory glance around, bit my step-dad on the thumb, and took off like a scaly rocket. We tracked him through the house for an hour and returned him sullenly to his tank. I can only assume he was passed out after sneaking out for a night of drunken reptilian debauchery.

OMG! Nothing would make my daughter happier than having a mama bear!

when i was little i used to sneak into my sister’s room while she was sleeping and meow in her ear and the next day she would always tell me that she was dreaming of cats coming to get her.

just imagine the possibilities with this…

I had really bad luck with small animals as a kid.

when i was 2 years old my parents bought me a turtle. being the genius i was at the time, i named it joey, after myself. anyway about 6-8 months after we got joey, apparently he began to stink real bad. my parents told me they were gonna take him to the aquarium on coney island to live with the other turtles. until i was like 8 or 9, i’d to to the bklyn aquarium every summer to visit joey the turtle.

…then the truth came out

one night my dad put the turtle out with the garbage, tank and all. he insists that since we lived in brooklyn someone came along and picked it up out the garbage before the trash guys came in the morning.

Then when i was 4, my parents bought me a bunny for easter. he was grey and brown so i named him scuffy. scuffy and i would play all the time. i’d take him for walks on his little bunny rabbit leash all around the neighborhood. it was epic.

…then disaster struck.

one summer sunday afternoon, we left scuffy outside on his leash tied to the big dogwood tree in the back yard. while we were at church, scuffy somehow managed to jump his leash up around one of the branches, effectively hanging him about 9 inches off the ground. we came back from church and the rabbit was strung up, all bloated from roasting in the sun. it was like bunny rodizio.

When I was 5, my grandmother bought me a hermit crab. My little brother went to play with it and it bit him, so he threw it on the ground. My grandmother, in her infinite wisdom, decided that the crab had gone into shock and opted to run it under hot water in order to get it back to life, effectively parboiling the poor thing

Needless to say, you probably shouldn’t give this to me for fear that i’ll somehow manage to find a way to murder an inanimate object. However, all my friends call me joeybear so if nothing else it would be fitting.

Wow, I have so many animal stories, I don’t know where to start!
When my sister and I were 7 and 8, we had two cockatiels. They would stick their heads out of the cage and chew on the twine that the cage was hanging from (my mom replaced it with wire). We named them Dummy and Stupid.

We also had two siamese cats and named them Siamia and Maria.

When I was about 12 my dad decided - since we had just moved to a 5 acre piece of land in the south sacramento area - to buy two horses, two llamas (one was pregnant!) and 6 emus. Two emus died, two escaped and were never seen again, and two my dad gave away. The llamas? Since we had a female and male, they had one baby almost every year. Sometimes we would sell them. Last year when my parents moved, they had to find a home for 6 llamas!

Sadly, I am living in an apartment that doesn’t allow pets. But my roommate and I found and kept a stray kitten. We got him neutered and got him shots, and named him Kitkat. It was about a year later when our apartment manager found him out. We had to give him to my roommate’s grandma!

I want that awesome jacket but I have no animal story. booo….

Very cool: It’s almost as if the horns and ears are for plausible deniability. “Be a bad ass but don’t look like one”

That’s awesome. I love it. I could use it to scare the shit out of my mother-in-law. It would make me look just like the bear she has been seeing up north recently.

My little cat, Spike, was the most playful, fearless boy when he was a kitten. We would play with feathers on strings with him and when we’d pull it back behind his head, he’d do a back flip to try to keep chasing it!! Sooo cute!