*notcot in gratis , 15:39

NOTCOT Giveaway 31: Seagate FreeAgent XTreme 1TB- 12.17.08

5seagate.jpg TO WIN: Leave a comment here ~ with something to make the other commenters smile! ENTER BY 12/20. WINNER: Collin in Plattsburgh, NY!

Well, here we are at the final of the 5 Giveaways from our official Holiday Gift Guide Sponsor, Seagate! (and Giveaway #31!!!) ~ this is the top of the line FreeAgent external hard drive ~ the Seagate FreeAgent XTreme ~ in a sleek black case, this is 1 Terabyte of “blazingly fast data transfer” with USB 2.0, FireWire 400, and eSATA!

Sooo, since its been a loooooong day/week/month, and its completely grey, super cold, and pouring rain here, and we’re closing in on all the holiday shopping panic for those who are lining up at post offices to get things there by xmas ~ how about leaving a comment that will make people smile? Something fun and silly to amuse the other commenters?

P.S. You guys are the best ~ thanks for all the awesome comments so far (and on ALL the giveaways!!!) ~ i hope you have as much fun reading them as leaving them!

I even found a box and have this one packed up and ready to go!

TO WIN: Leave a comment here ~ with something to make the other commenters smile! ENTER BY 12/20.

Tags: - - - - -

480 Notes

uhhh…. wuzzle wozzle?

----- ann 20.12.08 22:43

Finding $20.00 in an old coat pocket…that makes me smile.

----- Colleen 20.12.08 21:20

“Ask me if I’m an orange…”


----- trevor Weimer 20.12.08 18:33

A wise man once said:
“A little song, a little dance,
a little seltzer down your pants.”

----- TieDyePie 20.12.08 17:22

Stolen from a t-shirt:

To err is human,
To arr is pirate

----- Van Francis 20.12.08 16:03

Bleh, Tina Fey’s already said everything smart I had in mind

----- Capitán Intriga 20.12.08 14:08

There should be more Christmas carols about drinking alone. I love the few non-busy, quiet moments in the midst of the craziness when I have the time and space to enjoy a glass or wine, a spiked eggnog or a couple fingers of Scotch.

----- laila 20.12.08 12:38

“Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got.”
- W.C. Fields

----- Bartal Jógvansson Djurhuus 20.12.08 10:47

Pointing to the large-toothed toddler smiling back from the pew in front of us, my 2-year-old niece cut the silence by exclaiming, “Look mommy, a nowring beava [sic] (gnawing beaver in a British accent)!” Bless PBS, but don’t bless the toddler’s mother who glared back at us with a matching pair of beaverish central incisors.

----- Steven 20.12.08 10:33

Be content.

----- Dawn 20.12.08 08:49

Without dolphins my life would have no porpoise.

----- brad 20.12.08 08:06


----- gregr 20.12.08 07:05

In my world there’s only ponies who eat rainbow and make poo butterflies!!!

----- Myriam B. 20.12.08 04:04


----- DS 20.12.08 01:00

Merry Christmas!

----- nikita 19.12.08 23:07

Interviewer: Do you have any problems with the alcohol?
Ozzy Osbourne: Yes I can’t find any open bar?

----- Christopher BP 19.12.08 22:36


----- Lorien 19.12.08 22:30

What is useful only if its broken?

An egg.

----- Arthur 19.12.08 22:04

He told me he loves me today, for the first time :)

----- LC 19.12.08 21:26


----- Scott 19.12.08 19:58

let’s put a smile on that face….

----- kenny ramone 19.12.08 19:52

What’s the difference between a horse and a train? There’s none, except that a horse doesn’t have windows. (I love absurd humour.)
Also, this comic of Wondermark makes my inner bibliophile smile.

----- Joanie 19.12.08 19:43

teenage mutant ninja turtles theme in german!

----- ann 19.12.08 19:36

Anything by Jack Handey makes me smile.


----- Mike Porter 19.12.08 18:47

this makes me smile, it’ll do the same to you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlfKdbWwruY&fmt=22

----- Turtle 19.12.08 17:59

Will 1 TB be enough 5 years from now? Obsoletely!

C’mon, I’ll never need more than 637 kb of memory.

----- Jonathan 19.12.08 17:26

jingam bells jingam bells jingam all the way!!! merry christmas, happy new year!!

----- chouco 19.12.08 17:20

In life you should fear 3 mothers: mother nature, mother-in-law, and mother fuckin’ mortgage payments

----- Diana 19.12.08 15:50

A shoe being thrown at President Bush’s head. Ha!

----- Carrie 19.12.08 15:38

You’re all the best people! Happy holidays!

----- Greg 19.12.08 15:31

thank god our ancestor decided to eat turkey for thanksgiving… for all we know if they choose a cat we’ll all be eating pussy this thanksgiving :P

p.s i know it’s past thanksgiving but it’s the only thing i can think of right now :P

----- bao nguyen 19.12.08 15:10

Follow these instructions and you are sure to break into a smile…

overly literal, I know. haha.

----- Haley 19.12.08 15:09

The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.

----- Tim 19.12.08 14:46

Lucy in the sky with diamonds.


It’s Jack in the box with burgers.

----- Alper 19.12.08 14:32

smiling is hard.

----- Carlos 19.12.08 14:15

PC is faster then a Mac…lol

----- Max 19.12.08 13:51

Christmas is in t-minus 6 days, so early Merry Christmas to all, and happy holidays :D

----- zach 19.12.08 13:25

I’ll be the “cat person” too. This video makes me so, so happy.

----- melissa 19.12.08 13:08

I gave the middle finger to a Google Street View Car, I’m just waiting for them to update to the new pictures.

----- Evan Doyle 19.12.08 13:04

Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One says “Geez, it’s hot in here.”
The other one screams “AHHHH! A TALKING MUFFIN!”

----- Danielle 19.12.08 12:56

beautiful little dots. I want it!

----- Nicole 19.12.08 12:33

Pick me!

----- tina 19.12.08 12:28

and the winner is… YOU!

----- W. 19.12.08 11:30

girL i know yOuR seCreT. yOu goT tHaT mCnuGGeT LoViN, wHy caN’t yOu sHaRe yOuR LoVe wiTh mE . . girL yOu goT a 1o PieCe doN’t bE sTiNgy LoL

----- Luis 19.12.08 11:09

This morning while shoveling the snow I hadn’t realized ice formed underneath. So hammering away at the incredibly stiff snow I slipped and fell. Luckily for me, the neighbor’s very handsome son was in town for the holidays and was there to witness the fall. I tried to get up quickly before he could help me up and I managed to tear the cuff of my jeans and the pocket of my coat in the process. So i will spend the New Year hiding out in the basement as my ego recovers.

----- Sjanette 19.12.08 11:05

Two atoms are sitting down in a bar when one says “I think I’ve lost an electron.”
To which the other atom replies, “Are you sure?”
“I’m positive!”

----- bethany 19.12.08 10:24


----- Kris 19.12.08 10:21


----- Adam 19.12.08 10:19

It took me 21 years but I’m finally where I want to be.

----- Denise 19.12.08 09:14

so… what are you wearing right now?

----- Mark 19.12.08 09:10

Dogs make me smile. A few examples:

Leo the Dog saves Kittens from burning Fire - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptB07IgPkG4
Argentine dog saves abandoned baby - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qs-B-_dA7Ek&feature=related

----- Aaron 19.12.08 07:55

I like and love you all :)

----- Alex 19.12.08 07:51

Why are French omelettes made with only one egg?
Because in France, one egg is un oeuf.

----- andrea 19.12.08 07:03

NOTCOT IS what Willis was talk’n about!

----- Scott 19.12.08 06:32

always stand still when a dog is chasing after you!

merry xmas!

----- Jeff 19.12.08 04:53

this picture makes this a wining post. i know it.

----- PetraHerman 19.12.08 03:40

because this made me laugh to the point where i snorted.



----- Julia 19.12.08 02:45

Haikus are easy
But sometimes they don’t make sense

[Why are there so many poems? Haha!]

----- Khoa P 19.12.08 02:21

hey macarena….

hey macarena, hey macarena, hey macarena.


----- patrick 19.12.08 02:08

happy holidays!

----- Nir Tober 19.12.08 01:37

A video says more than 25,000 words a second..

----- Benjamin A. Wendelboe 19.12.08 01:24

You’re kind of beautiful.

----- bearic 19.12.08 01:24

So a guy goes to the doctor and he says, “Doctor, I can’t get What’s New Pussycat by Tom Jones out of my head.”
The doctor says, “That sounds like TJS, or Tom Jones Syndrome.”
The guy asks, “Is that a common ailment?”
The doctor tells him that “It’s Not Unusual!”

----- Zach 18.12.08 23:50

savage chickens always manages to perk my day up. tuesday’s comic cheered me up to no end: http://www.savagechickens.com/2008/12/impostor.html

----- julie 18.12.08 23:30

Dear Notcot,
I am not witty enough to come up with a joke to make people smile, so instead, I am sending you a picture of a spider. I value the drawing to be worth a smile so I trust this settles the matter.

Regards, Stephanie

For those of you who don’t get it… http://www.techradar.com/news/world-of-tech/spider-email-drawing-offered-as-bill-payment-486872

----- Stephanie 18.12.08 22:48

I was nursing my three month old daughter when my two year old son walked into the room. He looked at me and said. “I’m hungry. Put away that boob, I need a sandwich.”

----- Sarah 18.12.08 22:48

What do you get when you mix a brown chicken with a brown cow?… “Brow-chika-brow-cow.”

----- Justin 18.12.08 22:30

An ambitious young blonde woman, in need of money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type. She began, door to door, canvassing a wealthy neighborhood for work. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

“Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?”

The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

“You’re finished already?” he asked.

“Yes,” the blonde answered, “and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats.” Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.

“And by the way,” the blonde added, “that’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.”

----- Mike O 18.12.08 22:14

Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted a whole day.
Mickey Rooney

----- Dree 18.12.08 21:55

I’ve been transferring all of our home videos onto dvd for my mom’s Christmas present. Unfortunately, that also means reviewing my young and uncivilized self. I could really use this drive to keep these memories safe forever. Thanks NOTCOT!

----- Megan 18.12.08 21:50

I don’t know if this makes anyone but me smile but a new hard drive = storage for pics and music!

----- Earl Hensley 18.12.08 21:25

I yearn for these spinning platters of magnetic-based storage.

----- Andrew Saliga 18.12.08 21:20

Here’s a fantastic short film that you can’t help but smile while you watch http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Cbk980jV7Ao

----- Emily N. 18.12.08 21:10

Merry Christmas! Good luck everyone, Jeff

----- Jeffrey Mayo 18.12.08 21:03

Hey there … Smile … Pleaaaassseeeee …. pretty pleassseee….

----- Nigel Sielegar 18.12.08 20:30

A few years ago we owned an adorable cocker spaniel named Sparky. Sparky was cute but not so bright. When Sparky was outside on her runner, she’d bark and whine to come back inside, it was so annoying. One day I put Sparky outside and she did her complaining thing for awhile and then it stopped. I went to the back door to check on her and there was Sparky, standing in the middle of the driveway and she was quiet and I swear I could see her smiling! Wow, she’s finally getting used to being outside without us. I called my husband to come look saying “Honey, come see..the dog is smiling, she’s happy”. My husband took one look and said “She’s not smiling, her collar is stuck in her mouth and the runner is pulling it backwards”. So now anytime I say something really “smart”..my husband says “Honey the dog is smiling”.

----- Michelle 18.12.08 20:16

My friend Julie just got a new phone… and somehow the names and numbers got mixed up while transferring from the old one. So one day she got a text message that said “hey, Tom and I are having a party, you should come!” (Tom is the name of my boyfriend). Julie couldn’t go so she texted back, and had a long text conversation with someone she thought was me, culminating with her planning to meet who she thought was me for lunch.

When Julie turned up she was very surprised to see her friend Allison. She greeted her and kept looking around for me… until she realized she had been texting Allison the whole time. And then she ran into me on the street the very next day! We’re planning to have lunch properly soon!

----- blu_stocking 18.12.08 20:07

wouldn’t everyone love to resort back to being a small tot again for Christmas?! Wearing a onezie, chock-full diaper, and a smile on your pudgy little, chocolate pudding face? Smell the sweet memories of childhood this holiday season:)

----- Shelley 18.12.08 19:29

I almost hate to be the “cat person” but come on -he’s a freak!

----- The Slapster 18.12.08 18:43

How I love NotCot. It’s the first and last thing seen. Day and Night Inspired.

----- Aaron 18.12.08 18:36

A bear walks into a bar, walks up to the bartender and says:
“Lemme get a gin…

and tonic.”
The bartender says:
“Why the big pause?”
The bear replies:
“I can’t help it. I’m a bear.”

----- Dan Pinto 18.12.08 18:35

This is a joke entitled: The Geography of Women.

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa, half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful!

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe, well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece, gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all conquering past.

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel, has been through war and doesn’t make the same mistakes twice, takes care of business.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada, self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.

After 70, she becomes Tibet, wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages…only those with an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge visit there.


Between 1 and 80, a man is like Iran,
ruled by nuts.

----- //austin 18.12.08 18:24

“life without you is like a broken pencil…pointless.”

----- Vivian 18.12.08 18:24

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“


----- Lancecore 18.12.08 18:03


A charity event that I co-hosted for my fraternity, where brothers dress up as girls to raise money as 50% of the proceeds went to TOMS Shoes (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DqrFG7xrE1I). This was one of my brothers talent portion of the competition

----- Justin Nguyen 18.12.08 17:41

If I get the Free Agent hardrive, the little lights will help expose all the little nocturnal animals that work around me.

----- pablo 18.12.08 17:21

pretty please.

----- Jordan 18.12.08 17:15


----- Dante 18.12.08 16:55

No matter what, there’s always someone who loves you. :)

----- Frederick 18.12.08 16:45

I made up a joke. An awful joke.

Q: What’s the worst part about being rich in 17th century France?

A: No matter how much money you have, you’re still Baroque.

----- Travis 18.12.08 16:35

my keys
your keys
I keys you

----- tam 18.12.08 16:10

So, if you don’t read my blog (and I’m guessing you don’t) you’ll be unaware of the fact that I live in the original moneypit. OK, a much smaller version of it. But I was really surprised yesterday to see that it was raining *inside* the loft. Oh yeah, I guess that line at the Post Office doesn’t look so long anymore, eh? Cos at least when you get home, it’ll be dry inside, right?

----- Jo - i dream i can fly 18.12.08 16:07

hahaha.. SMILEEE

----- David Levi 18.12.08 16:01

i hate it when you try to fart so you try to get away from people, and do it in a corner somewhere. then later on someone comes up to you and they get the deadly fart bubble. sucks for them, but when that does happen it’s funny because no one mentions the stench most of the time.

----- labraji 18.12.08 15:55

Monkey loves DUCK!!!!

----- Sean 18.12.08 15:45

It snowed for the 1st time in many years on the Vegas Strip yesterday. This morning the news was full of videos of kids playing in the snow. Nothing is cuter than kids playing in snow for the 1st time.

----- Emxero 18.12.08 15:37

My very first PC (running MS DOS 3.3) had a 20 MB hard disk. When I bought it, I was absolutely certain that that was all the diskspace that I’d need for the foreseeable future.

----- Steven 18.12.08 15:33

i just had a baby girl… every time she smiles everyone else smiles. she just smiled, so now you should be smiling.

----- jb 18.12.08 15:23

Our pug puppy

----- lucash 18.12.08 15:16

what are the two sexiest animals on the farm?


har har har

----- Kristen 18.12.08 15:15

Looks badass. I want one and look forward to loading it up with tons of music from all my friends :)

----- sarah tisdale 18.12.08 14:44

..for everyone who speaks german. here’s a realy nice poem: FRAU, AU!

----- pascal Kuhn 18.12.08 14:43

Anyone like pong? This makes me smile:
tag : Ouroboros, lets play Pong
Ouroboros : Ok.
tag : | .
Ouroboros : . |
tag : | .
Ouroboros : . |
tag : | .
Ouroboros : | .
Ouroboros : Whoops

----- John 18.12.08 14:42

roses are red, violets are blue….

----- Jason 18.12.08 14:39

You are beautiful. Truly.

----- grace 18.12.08 14:36

I just went through this huge bureaucratic process to turn some papers in, but by the the time I got to where I was supposed to go, the guy taking my papers was sitting there eating a candy cane. And that is when I realized that it’s the holidays.

----- Allison S. 18.12.08 14:35

i have a mybook harddrive that i think has broken since it randomly keeps restarting while plugged into my new macbook. the seagate would look great with it =)

----- carl 18.12.08 14:16

Dont lie to your friends online this holiday season
by saying LOL!

(especially when your not laughing out loud at all!)

Give them the wonderful gift of honesty by typing FNE.

Fast Nasal Exhale.


SEE! I told you! I was right!
fne. ha.

----- lin 18.12.08 14:04

No better yet … My grandmother is so old she pees when she laughs so I thought I would see what it feels like. It didn’t work, I crapped all over myself. Only old people can pee and laugh. So if you’re dry right now, know that you’re still young!

----- Joshua 18.12.08 13:59

let’s do this i’m running out of space!

----- bv 18.12.08 13:57

One day my mother and I got in an argument over whether peppers (like a bell or jalepeno) were fruits or vegetables. Knowing my brother was on the computer in the next room I yelled “Jake, is a pepper a fruit or vegetable?!”

He, being so engrossed in the video he was watching, just yelled back, “IT’S A SPICE!”

----- Laura 18.12.08 13:56


----- Christina 18.12.08 13:52

Check out The Lonely Island’s brand new music video (from SNL)…guaranteed to give you a laugh!

----- Lisa 18.12.08 13:50

So we all have our favorite genre of music….Some people are fans of gospel some are not….but i think we can ALL get behind this performance


enjoy friends

----- Scott Ortner 18.12.08 13:17

All your base are belong to us.

----- Knivez 18.12.08 13:12

Dear Santa,
This Christmas I’ll be specific. I really want the Seagate FreeAgent Xtreme 1TB external drive. Last year I overestimated your level of tech savvy, and was surprised to wake up Christmas morning with Tuberculosis. Not the TB I was looking for, though, you’re right, it is the gift that keeps on giving.

----- patguy 18.12.08 13:02

Just think, fellow northern hemisphere-ers — in a few days, the amount of daylight we get per day will begin INCREASING!

----- Shana 18.12.08 12:59


JANUARY 20, 2009!


----- jayson ramos 18.12.08 12:57

two silk worms were in a race.

they ended up in a tie.

----- metis 18.12.08 12:49

When I was about three years old, my mother, mentioned something about Mount St. Helens erupting in Washington. I grew up in the suburbs of Baltimore, and being three years old I didn’t know the difference between Washington DC and Washington state. As far as I was concerned there was a huge volcano about to erupt and incinerate everyone in my neighborhood. I didn’t learn that Washington state was actually a few thousand miles away until a few years later. people should think twice before giving two places the same name - it can be confusing.

----- rob 18.12.08 12:46

A festivus for the rest of us: http://tinyurl.com/2attro

----- PK 18.12.08 12:42

The job interview I have been waiting all week for was canceled at the last minute because of the weather. Now I can go play in the snow with my kids and I get another night to prepare. Wish me luck.

----- Pauley 18.12.08 12:38

This made me laugh for hours when I first watched it, and still brings a smile to my face when I find a good-quality link to it on Vimeo or Youtube - this is the original Quicktime version, let it load, turn up the volume and then watch it at least twice: http://tinyurl.com/4odc9y

----- pgn 18.12.08 12:38

someone help! i can’t remember the lines to humpty dumpty!!!!

tried singing it last night and totally forgot :(

----- Belle 18.12.08 12:34



I think it’s safe to say the Japanese are funny people…….or at least their TV is. I wish I knew more of what they were saying!

----- Jess 18.12.08 12:19

Who are you Conrad Nuccio? Sorry you got dumped. =(

Perhaps we could meet, reincarnated as cats, on our 6th life?


----- jenn Martini 18.12.08 12:18

I hope you win this other commenters… and you are pretty.

----- Matt Messner 18.12.08 12:18

…OUCH! I just fell off the chair!

----- Paola 18.12.08 12:07

if you are ever wondering if your internet connecting is actually working do a Google search for ‘Fish Sticks’ both for the memories, and I’m positive you haven’t searched it lately.

Image search highly recommended

----- Paul Prins 18.12.08 12:05

I’d prefer to receive this after Obama takes office. I don’t want to be prosecuted in the War on Terabytes.

----- a. thomas 18.12.08 12:03

Why does Father Christmas go down the chimney ?
Because it soots him !

----- mike martinjuk 18.12.08 11:53

I’m sure the thought of own this hard drive gives a curl to the lips of all who care to comment and few that don’t.

----- A.J. Grier 18.12.08 11:28

Smile, you’re on Candid Camera!

----- Tribeni 18.12.08 11:27


----- marieke 18.12.08 11:24

Bathroom grafitti:

Here I sit, cheeks-a-flexin’
Giving birth to a baby Texan

----- Jared 18.12.08 11:19

french kid telling a simple story.
that is all.


----- Brandon Sheats 18.12.08 11:16

What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud

----- PJ 18.12.08 11:06

A preoccupied vegan named Hugh
picked up the wrong sandwich to chew.
He took a big bite
before spitting, in fright,

----- raptrex 18.12.08 11:06

Giraffe walks into a bar and says, “The highballs are on me.”

----- Brent 18.12.08 10:59

Horse walks into a bar.
Bartender says “Hey! Why the long face?”

Thank you. Try the chicken. I’m here all week.

----- Ryan Booth 18.12.08 10:49

No matter how tough things get, no matter how much your heart is broken, and no matter what life throws at you, there is always hope. Life itself is hope, for a better tomorrow.

----- Michael Senkow 18.12.08 10:45

the warmth from a Hawaiian beach!!!

----- jayp0411 18.12.08 10:42

I believe that if I was given a Seagate FreeAgent XTreme 1TB external hard drive, then it would re-affirm my belief in humanity and I would become a better person.

This year, for instance, I suffered a terrible blow to my faith in the benevolence of the cosmos, via my spectacular failure to win the lottery. It has been my tenacious, yet perhaps unduly optimistic belief that the universe would furnish my meager life with a few gadgets here and there without any economic commitment on my part. But whichever deity lords over the distribution of prizes and unlooked-for boons, like wonderfully reliable external hard drives, seems to have scarcely looked in my direction all year.

I mean, I’m fair about it. I don’t go to engadget anymore, for instance; that just makes it impossible for me to walk past a church, synagogue or mosque without feeling compelled to go in an prostrate myself before the great iniquity of the universe and beg for some slick object of technolust as a mysterious prize in the mail.

I don’t ask much of the universe. And I try not to do any harm as well. To my knowledge I haven’t stepped on any ants lately. And I haven’t shot any politicians from afar with an Israeli-manufactured sniper rifle either, although admittedly this restraint on my part is owed more to my nervous fear of confinement, a politically apathetic temperament, a real uneasiness around guns themselves, as well as a firm commitment to the principles of pacifism.

So I don’t really think I deserve a Seagate external hard drive, but my heart beats a little quicker thinking about it. And though I wouldn’t claw myself over a seething tide of bodies in a wallmart store and crush the life out of any of you, i’d stand back out of your way and say ‘look, it’s just stuff, okay, people! we’re being manipulated by corporations! You’re all special - these ultra sweet drives will not enrich you! You’re better than this!’

Because that’s the sort of thing I tend to say. I don’t know why - it’s just the way I am. Righteous, they call it. A man of tremendous character, a famous bishop once remarked of me, though modesty prevents me from saying which. But in the meantime I’d be biting my lip with envy of anyone who walked away with the drive. I haven’t won anything in life, except a single jar of jelly beans when I was an insecure 15 year old. I mean, how fricking pathetic is that? People win all sorts of things, and I’ve won a jar of jelly beans. I’m not even sure I ever like jelly beans, but I can tell you that in terms of sweepstakes, I fail like it’s my job.

But if notcot gave me a 1TB Seagate Freeage Xtreme 1TB external hard drive, I’d have to revise it all, revise everything. My pessimistic expectation that the universe does not supply one with cool gadgets would be shaken. It would almost be like cool things happened sometimes, out of nowhere. It’d be cool - like Burt Reynolds cool. And I might be a better person for it, and all the lives of all those ants whom I didn’t crush will be vindicated.

----- kris 18.12.08 10:36


----- yonny 18.12.08 10:35

Necco Candy dancing always makes me smile. So I made this stop motion mini movie last year. Enjoy and i hope it puts a smile on every ones face :)



----- Armen 18.12.08 10:32

Worst Christmas Story Ever? Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

Seriously, think about the story. There is this reindeer who is different. All the kids make fun of him and tease him and then on that one fateful night, he becomes useful. “Hey Rudolph with your nose so bright! We found a use for you so we’ll like you now.” Honestly, is this what we’re teaching our children? Make fun of kids that are different, unless you find them a purpose that will directly benefit you, then you can be their friend.

Worst. Story. Ever.

----- Beth 18.12.08 10:30

If I ever walk by and see an amputee being hanged, I’m going to start shouting out letters.

----- Talbot Ridgway 18.12.08 10:28

Dude, to win this you can’t type “kitty” that’s stupid … you must type dog eats kitty and poops cat.

----- Joshua 18.12.08 10:26

“Quick! Staring contest! Me, you – NOW!………….You win. You always do.”
Will Ferrell doing a Robert Goulet. Comedic gold.

----- Michelle U 18.12.08 10:26

Happy birthday!

----- Allison 18.12.08 10:24

Barack Obama is in and George Bush is out. That makes me smile.

for an added snicker: Think of the image of the shoe being thrown at MR. Bush. *CLASSIC*

----- A.J. Grier 18.12.08 10:19

little cherub cheeks make me smile.. just want to pinch them!

----- tiffany 18.12.08 10:07

What did the murderer see before he killed?


----- Seth Clark 18.12.08 10:07

I write a blog about the spoken word scene in the Twin Cities, and go to a lot of slams, some cd releases, and some miscellaneous readings. The slam scene is rowdy, and what I’m used to- the art is interactive, people drinking, snapping or whistling in appreciation, shouting and cheering after a piece. Going to a literary reading is Not Like That.

“Attending a reading at the Loft after having been steeped in slam culture is a bit of a shock to the system, a little bit like going to an art gallery opening in your smock after having spent weeks eating saltines and drinking box wine out of a mason jar. Actually, it’s nice, but you feel a bit underdressed.”

----- Cole Sarar 18.12.08 10:03

my old co worker swears that the spanish translation of “packing peanuts”, means “nun-farts” in english.


----- Mat 18.12.08 10:01

If you happen to be having a bad day, don’t sweat it, there’s always tomorrow! = )

----- Matthew K 18.12.08 09:49


----- Jose Nunez 18.12.08 09:48

i’ll share my concept for the greatest device ever.
the panty cannon.
you know how girls throw panties at musicians? ever likes a musician SO MUCH that one pair of panties wasn’t enough? i have a solution. the panty cannon. much like the tshirt cannons they use at basketball games, the panty cannon can simply be loaded full of panties and shot at the musician of your choice. i strongly suggest this be used on david bowie.

----- kate 18.12.08 09:47

If I won this I would have to pop my collar because my desktop would “offically” be pimped!

----- Mike 18.12.08 09:37

Here is the only joke I can ever remember:

Two pretzels were walking down the street. One was a salted.

----- Leslie 18.12.08 09:32

Q. How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Let’s ride bikes!

----- Dave Stevens 18.12.08 09:30

^^^^ cutie ^^^^

vvvv sweetheart vvvv

----- David 18.12.08 09:30

Since fun facts make me smile, I’ll share a few interesting things I learned from TV yesterday.
- Dolphins are born w/mustaches and sleep w/one half of their brains at a time.
- Half of wild orangutans have suffered broken bones from falling out of trees.
- Certain turtles can get up to two-thirds of their oxygen through their butts.
- My cat reads NOTCOT every day. :)

----- tr 18.12.08 09:27

What happens when three cats jump off a bridge in France???

un, deux, trois cats sank.

(Get it? it just sounds like your counting to 5 in French!)

eh? eh?

----- Bailey Wiegel 18.12.08 09:24

The smell of fresh paper or fresh fabric.

----- Thomas 18.12.08 09:23

My boyfriend and I just rescued a golden retriever/standard poodle (“goldendoodle”!) mix. He had been severely neglected and when we got him his hair was one giant dredlock. He’s the sweetest pup we’ve ever seen - we named him “Enzo” (for our love of cars). Here’s a ‘before’ and ‘after’ pic of him… the hairy guy is no longer hairy!! But he will be in good time. We are thankful to have been able to rescue such a gentle soul at Christmas.

Enzo before: http://photobucket.com/albums/v469/veedubgirl/enzo_before1.jpg

Enzo after: http://photobucket.com/albums/v469/veedubgirl/enzo_after2.jpg

----- Ashley 18.12.08 09:19

What did the vampire say to the teacher?

“I’ll see you next period.”

----- Phillip 18.12.08 09:18

i thought about you yesterday and hugged my stuffed animal tight.

----- drewie 18.12.08 09:14

I doubt that this is the real Christopher Walken, but https://twitter.com/cwalken CRACKS me up. Just imagine the posts with Walken’s voice. Hilarious.

----- Nadia P 18.12.08 09:13

A favorite quote: “Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy a more comfortable form of misery.”

----- Jessica P. 18.12.08 09:12

Two peanuts were walking down the street and one was a salted.

----- Cobalt 18.12.08 09:11

~Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings;) Hap-pee Holidays!

----- Cody L. 18.12.08 09:09

Lately, me heart warms to the idea that in the face of seemingly ceaseless horror in the world, we seem to (ever so slowly) be growing together as a world population - rather than apart. Here’s to 2009 - the beginning of the beginning.

----- kevin 18.12.08 09:07


----- Ben Yang 18.12.08 09:05

You are a NOTCOT Blog Reader, I like it!

----- Roman 18.12.08 08:59

“something to make to make the other commenters smile!”

----- no names 18.12.08 08:52

here you go, laugh away:


----- Taylor 18.12.08 08:48

Whatever you do… don’t think about duck butts.

----- Eric 18.12.08 08:46

“I thought the Rocky Mountains would be a little rockier!”
“Yeah, that John Denver’s full of s*** man.”

----- Danny 18.12.08 08:46

Did you hear about the man who snatched someone’s wig?

He’ll have toupee.

----- Josh 18.12.08 08:45

Ceiling kitten loves this site. He’s watching your terabyte box.

----- Phil 18.12.08 08:44

Useless fact of the day…
Someone once told me dolphins can manage to let half their brain sleep, while the other half is still perfectly awake. Now I’m sitting here in the studio, having slept only about 4 hours and still a bit hung over from yesterdays’ Christmas dinner, feeling a bit jelous…

----- Alex 18.12.08 08:38

my boyfriend was walking to class the other day and saw two blind people run into each other at the bus stop. it was cute because they were old friends and reunited :) haha

----- Tina 18.12.08 08:28

If you’re looking to brighten up ANY YouTube video, check out the Benny Hillifier and put the theme song “Yakety Sax” over whichever vid you please. Fun for hours.


----- Chris Reinhard 18.12.08 08:28

This always makes me happy. High School is like a road trip from Regina to Calgary, pretty boring, but it’s the friends and unexpected stops because someone drank too much that make it worth it.

----- Alyssa Bredohl 18.12.08 08:28

I want to balance a guinea pig on top of my head

----- Heidi 18.12.08 08:26


----- Cheryl 18.12.08 08:23

I’m a starving film student deeply in need of a FireWire compatible External Hard drive. So I wrote you a (Banksy inspired) poem:

Poetry scratched on a bathroom stall.
Signs of life in the city.
A yound man’s life painted on a wall.

If humanity would ever fall
grafitti would artifacts of our lives.
Poetry scratched on a bathroom stall.

The concrete sounds like a concert hall
with the streets taking center stage.
A young man’s life painted on a wall.

A homeless man makes a hopeless call
for just a little recognition.
Poetry scratched on a bathroom stall.

Its what keeps our lives from being dull.
Flashes of color in a solid gray world.
A young man’s life painted on a wall.

A world of poets are answering the call
to make the streets into their canvas.
Poetry scratched on a bathroom stall.
A young man’s life painted on a wall.

----- Jeff-O 18.12.08 08:19

Two peanuts were walking down the street, one was assaulted.

:::cue rim shot:::


----- Ricky C 18.12.08 07:57

Black is like the new black again. TB1 is like before T2, less the B. And yeah, i want it now. ^-^

----- Mathieu 18.12.08 07:56


----- joe 18.12.08 07:56


----- Mike 18.12.08 07:52

How do you make a Kleenex dance?


wah waahh

----- Carl Heindl 18.12.08 07:51

and happier if you win this seagate freeagent….
Santa..please let me win this…

----- Ac1d 18.12.08 07:45

everything’s going to be okay!

----- xue 18.12.08 07:38

sometimes you eat santa’s cookies, and sometimes santa’s cookies eat you.

----- Jonathan McCreary 18.12.08 07:34

Here’s the deal. We sat around for hours trying to come up with a few pithy, witty ideas to post up some holiday cheer. Let’s face it. The economy is in the toilet, the next “Pick Up Artist” is the one we didn’t like, and Britney Spears is still crazy. But we’re hopeful. There’s a brand new year ahead, full of gossip, new TV seasons and soon we’ll all be zipping around on those crazy Segway Human Transporters. In any case, next year is sure to bring more great opportunities for us to not only push the creative envelope, but even lick it. Happy Holidays from Julian Murray Photography.

Julian & Lacey - Minnneapolis, MN

----- Lacey Murray 18.12.08 07:28

Puppies, children AND Power Rangers!

----- penny 18.12.08 07:28

Hark hear the bells sweet silver bells all seem to say sing dong (m'kay)
<('-'<) <('-')> (^'-')> (^'-'^) <('-'^) (>'-'<) (^'-'<) <('-'^) (>'-'<)

Christmas is here briging good cheer to young and old meek and the bold
<('-'<) <('-')> (^'-')> (^'-'^) <('-'^) (>'-'<) (^'-'<) <('-'^) (>'-'<)

Ding dong ding dong, that is there song with joyful ring all caroling
<('-'<) <('-')> (^'-')> (^'-'^) <('-'^) (>'-'<) (^'-'<) <('-'^) (>'-'<)

One seems to hear words of good cheer from everywhere filling the air
<('-'<) <('-')> (^'-')> (^'-'^) <('-'^) (>'-'<) (^'-'<) <('-'^) (>'-'<)

O how they pound raising their sound or' here and there telling their tale
<('-'<) <('-')> (^'-')> (^'-'^) <('-'^) (>'-'<) (^'-'<) <('-'^) (>'-'<)

Gaily they ring while people sing songs of good cheer Christmas is here
<('-'<) <('-')> (^'-')> (^'-'^) <('-'^) (>'-'<) (^'-'<) <('-'^) (>'-'<)
merrymerrymerrymerry christmas merrymerrymerrymerry christmas<br/>
<('-'<) <('-')> (^'-')> (^'-'^) <('-'^) (>'-'<) (^'-'<) <('-'^) (>'-'<)

On on they send on without end their joyful tone to every home<br/>
<('-'<) <('-')> (^'-')> (^'-'^) <('-'^) (>'-'<) (^'-'<) <('-'^) (>'-'<)

Hark here the bells sweet silver bells all seem to say sing dong (m'kay)
<('-'<) <('-')> (^'-')> (^'-'^) <('-'^) (>'-'<) (^'-'<) <('-'^) (>'-'<)

On on they send on without end their joyful tone to every home<br/>
<('-'<) <('-')> (^'-')> (^'-'^) <('-'^) (>'-'<) (^'-'<) <('-'^) (>'-'<)

Ding dong ding dong (m'kay)
<('-'<) <('-')> (^'-')>(^'-'^)

----- Tony 18.12.08 07:24

The video of the dog who won’t go through a screenless screen door:
Makes me laugh everytime I see it.

----- Ed 18.12.08 07:22

Happy Holidays everyone! In the spirit of the season, I wish we could all win this… but if I do, I’ll share ;)

----- Allen 18.12.08 07:20

There are times when laughing may not be the best option but you just can’t help it…
My 3 yrs old baby bro once came running to me completely broken down in tears, and managed to wheeze out between hiccups:

“I loo-ooked everyyyy-hic-wheeere and she looooosst it”

Needless to say I didn’t really get it but followed him as he pulled me to the living room where my youger babby sister was lying on the rug naked and cooing with pleasure at the breeze on her diapper-less self.
My bro points to her privates and, between sobs, says:

“She’s lost -hic- her wee-wee”

The fact that I burst into laugher didn’t please him much and so, to make ammends and try to calm him down, I proceeded to search around the house for my sister’s wee-wee…followed by a little sit-down session of boy vs. girl anatomy ;-)

----- Ari 18.12.08 07:05

sneezing puppies

----- awolf 18.12.08 07:03

My mother has a little holiday train that spells out N-O-E-L. One year she wasn’t paying attention, she put it together as L-E-O-N. It’s now a running joke in our family. “The First Leon…” She hasn’t put it together as NOEL in years.

----- Suz 18.12.08 07:01

Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff…


Thank you, thank you. I’ll be here all week.

----- Joel 18.12.08 06:57

Six Truths of Life

1. You cannot touch all your top teeth with your tongue.

2. All idiots, after reading the first truth, will try it.

3. And discover that The first truth is a lie.

4. You’re smiling now because you’re an idiot.

5. You soon will forward this to another idiot.

6. There’s still a stupid smile on your face.

----- Aaron 18.12.08 06:50

Type these numbers into your cell phone with the music tones on:

123 321 21 1233 123 321 21 122

Happy Holidays.

----- Vince 18.12.08 06:49

John McCain & Sarah Palin did not win. They will not be in the White House for 4 years. If THAT doesn’t make you smile…I don’t want to know you.

----- Jere 18.12.08 06:47

My girlfriend has been in Africa for three weeks, and she gets home tonight. I just cannot wait to see her.

----- Alex 18.12.08 06:46

What disaster happened at the Swedish pop concert?

An ABBAlanche.

Ba-dump ching!

----- Rudy 18.12.08 06:32

Ho, ho, ho, even Santa could use a free Seagate. Or at least that’s what he was mumbling between gulping on cookies and gargling milk. So Merry Christmas, everyone!

----- EugenS 18.12.08 06:29

well, since you are giving away stuff. why don’t i give NOTCOT something? a free mix? well it’s my Farewell Summer mix, but maybe it could be something to listen to while sending out all those giveaways. http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?gfm2ywnwzmg

----- djbrigidope 18.12.08 06:25

One Christmas, Santa was having a really bad day. The local elves union was up in arms over their contract and were threatening a walk-out. Mrs. Clause was pissed that Santa was never around to appreciate all of the hard work she had been doing around the house. Santa decided he needed to go home, sit in front of a fire and relax.

When he got there, Miss Clause was all up in his face and wouldn’t let down. Then, there was a knock on the door. It was Rudolph. He said the reindeer were sick and tired of Santa not upgrading to the new lightweight sliegh and they were joining the elves walkout. Santa slammed the door and threatend “The next person who knocks on that door is gonna get it!”

At that time, there was a knock on the door. Santa flung the door open and there stood a tiny little angel. The angel had been searching for the perfect Christmas tree for Santa’s house all day long, until it found the perfect one. The little angel asked, “Santa, I was wondering where you would like me to stick this tree?”

And that is the story of how the angel atop the tree tradition began.

----- Adam 18.12.08 06:24

On my walk to work this morning, I saw a mannequin in a store window whose pants were falling down. I laughed out loud on the street. Passersby looked at me and smiled.

Happy holidays!

----- Natalie 18.12.08 06:20

tickle… tickle… tickle…

----- Paul 18.12.08 06:19

Do you know what happened with the one-legged chicken ? She took a step forward and fell.

----- Daniel Segatto 18.12.08 06:09


----- Simone 18.12.08 06:06

my post above looks horrible, its supposed to be ren and stimpy…i suck.

----- james gannon 18.12.08 06:00

It’s nice to have power in the North East again!

----- Benzino 18.12.08 05:55

I always like saying “haha, dangly parts”, it was my favorite quote from Harvey Birdman: Attorney At Law on adultswim and said by Phil Ken Sebben

The full quote is “Do you know what this means to the firm, the billable hours? I can finally build that lakehouse, and I’ll run around naked all day. Ha ha… dangly parts”

It was such a great show.

----- Lazarou 18.12.08 05:52


----- JB 18.12.08 05:44

----- Dave! 18.12.08 05:40

Hi, would you like to give me a smile. I just need your smile so i can win this HD, then i will gift it to you.
Now, i’m just kidding, are you smiling right now?

----- mikenj 18.12.08 05:33

Where is the best place for a one legged waiter to get a job?


----- tony 18.12.08 05:32

Remember the guy that threw his shoes at President Bush?

ha ha

----- Ray 18.12.08 05:29

What a beautiful group of commentors! You all are beautiful, seriously. Really feelin’ the love in the room.

----- spacewolf 18.12.08 05:19

I’m a cameraman for my 24 hour local news station here in North Carolina. My girlfriend has never been to a hockey game, so I pulled some strings and managed to convince my boss to let me borrow his season press pass, so not only will she enjoy her first Carolina Hurricanes game tonight, she will also be able to get a tour of the locker room, press row, and get to check out ice level. I’m excited about her being excited.

----- Ronny Nause 18.12.08 05:19

Sinatra was scamming on the chicks. I have proof.
“When I was seventeen
It was a very good year
It was a very good year for small town girls
And soft summer nights
Wed hide from the lights
On the village green
When I was seventeen

When I was twenty-one
It was a very good year
It was a very good year for city girls
Who lived up the stair
With all that perfumed hair
And it came undone
When I was twenty-one

When I was thirty-five
It was a very good year
It was a very good year for blue-blooded girls
Of independent means
Wed ride in limousines
Their chauffeurs would drive
When I was thirty-five

But now the days grow short
Im in the autumn of the year
And now I think of my life as vintage wine
>from fine old kegs
>from the brim to the dregs
And it poured sweet and clear
It was a very good year”

----- Sick Duck Design 18.12.08 05:13

You been given the gift of a new day; a chance to start over and make the world a better place. The yesterday is History, the Tomorrow is the Future, today is a gift that’s why it’s called the Present.

----- matthew aughey 18.12.08 04:57

Surely a seal is a cross between a fish and a dog?

----- Marc Lloyd 18.12.08 04:49

What do you call a cow with no legs?

“Ground Beef” of course!

Merry Christmas!

----- planetMitch 18.12.08 04:42

Change has come.

----- John Harm 18.12.08 04:35

What do snowmen eat for breakfast? - “Frosty Flakes”

----- Jeremy 18.12.08 04:26

Read the posts left by the commenters (above and below mine).

----- Gary 18.12.08 04:25

Did you ever notice: when you’re single all you see are couples, but when you’re in a relationship all you see are prostitutes.

----- CadeOne 18.12.08 04:17

smile, its not worth not doing it

----- jim 18.12.08 04:16

Just imagine this and it will make you smile: Golden Girls in IMAX.

----- Joseph L 18.12.08 04:11


----- svens 18.12.08 03:18

That one involves a bit of Schadenfreude…

About four months into my Sinology studies I went to the city centre of Trier with some friends.
On our way to a restaurant we saw a girl with a tramp stamp.
She had a Chinese word tattooed on her back without knowing its meaning (as we found out).
Well, it read 便宜 (pianyi), which means: cheap.

----- Alex 18.12.08 02:55

During my eight grade award ceremony, I won “Highest GPA in History”. People did not know it meant the SUBJECT history.

----- Anjeli Ricasata 18.12.08 02:46

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.

----- Dawn 18.12.08 02:28

I met my wife at a video game store, we fell in love over Pheonix Wright!

----- otumnite 18.12.08 02:25

Shirley, Shirley bo Birley Bonana fanna fo Firley
Fee fy mo Mirley, Shirley!

Marta, Marta bo Barta Bonana fanna fo Farta
Fee fy mo MMarta, Marta!

…i’ve never understand how this game plays.
i think there’s something wrong with my name…or with myself.

----- marta 18.12.08 02:24


----- Dustin 18.12.08 02:17

I currently live in Hong Kong but home is in Washington, DC. My girlfriend and parents each flew more than 24 hours to see me so I would be able to spend Christmas with loved ones, the way that it’s been every year since I was born. Love truly knows no bounds. Love you guys.

----- austin brown 18.12.08 02:15

you look like you could use a hug (:

----- Chel 18.12.08 02:13

YOU! deserve to win :)

----- HoodieFreak 18.12.08 01:55

What was the best thing before sliced bread? Is it only Americans who win the competitions?

----- steven 18.12.08 01:54

I don’t care if you guys smile but Happy Holidays everyone :D

----- Shant 18.12.08 01:44

My girlfriend and parents each just flew more than 24 hours to come see me in Hong Kong, so I wouldn’t have to spend Christmas alone in a foreign land. Love knows no bounds.

----- Austin 18.12.08 01:39

The next 5 commenters win a Seagate FreeAgent XTreme!
You’ll be receiving email shortly…

----- Not Cot 18.12.08 01:34

All those who left a comment here will win the 1tb Seagate Freeagent Extreme.

Now, imagine. Just imagine that. Now, that’d be Seagate Christmas. Wow.

----- bonks a. 18.12.08 01:22

go go power rangers

----- George 18.12.08 01:19

“The first thing was, I learned to forgive myself. Then I told myself, ‘Go ahead, do whatever you want, it’s ok by me.’”
Jack Handey

“Fear can sometimes be a useful emotion. For instance, let’s say you’re an astronaut on the moon and you fear your partner has been turned into Dracula.
Jack Handey

Next time he goes out for the moon pieces, wham! You just slam the door behind him and blast off. He might call you on the radio and say he’s not Dracula, but you just say, ‘Think again, batman.’”
Jack Handey

I hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people.
Jack Handey

If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let’em go, because, man, they’re gone.
Jack Handey

If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.
Jack Handey

----- John 18.12.08 01:10

a joke i will tell them

----- hds 18.12.08 01:03

Even though I will soon be 23, I am the youngest of four and I still wake up earliest on Christmas morning and whine at the others to get up so we can go open presents. Some habits don’t die young.

----- Vanessa 18.12.08 01:02

a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all exscaped jail.

They were running down a hill trying to escape being caught by the cops, when they see a barn and decide to hide inside.

The brunette sees a bunch of sacks and say “lets hide inside the sacks”, all the girls oblige and hide in the sacks.

The police eventually get to the barn just to see if the prisoners might be hiding inside.

The cop opens the door and sees a bunch of sacks, he opens one of the sacks and sees some corn, and another sack is filled with potatoes, the cop then assumes the other sacks are just filled with potatoes and corn, but just to make sure he kicks a few of the sacks.

The first sack he kicks has the brunette in it, the cop kicks the sack and the girl say “meow”…and the cop calls back to his partner and says, “oh its just a cat”…

he kicks the next sack which the redhead is hiding in, and she goes “ruff ruff”, so the cop calls back to say it was just a dog.

He then kicks the sack with the blonde girl inside and she goes “potatoes”…

----- Kirk 18.12.08 00:59

baskin robins

----- asa 18.12.08 00:58

I just farted…

----- Byron 18.12.08 00:55

…I’ve got this problem with my e-mail…

----- Matthew Bowers 18.12.08 00:55

If one synchronized swimmer drowns do the rest have to drown too?

----- Dominik Zach 18.12.08 00:48

There are several men sitting around in the locker room of a private club after exercising. Suddenly a cell phone on one of the benches rings. One of the men picks it up, and the following conversation ensues:

“Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?”
“Great! I am at the mall two blocks from where you are. I just saw a beautiful mink coat. It’s absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it?”
“What’s the price?”
“Only $1,500.00.”
“Well, OK, go ahead and get it, if you like it that much … “

“Ahhh, and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2001 models. I saw one I really liked. I spoke with the salesman, and he gave me a really good price … and since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year … “
“What price did he quote you?”
“Only $60,000 … “
“OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.”

“Great! But before we hang up, something else … “
“It might look like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank account and I stopped by the real estate agent this morning and saw the house we had looked at last year. It’s on sale!! Remember? The one with a pool, English Garden, acre of park area, beachfront property … “
“How much are they asking?”
“Only $450,000 - a magnificent price … and I see that we have that much in the bank to cover … “

“Well, then go ahead and buy it, but just bid $420,000. OK?”
“OK, sweetie … Thanks! I’ll see you later!! I love you!!!”
“Bye … I do too … ”

The man hangs up, closes the phone’s flap, and raises his hand while holding the phone and asks to all those present: “Does anyone know who this phone belongs to?

----- pelon 18.12.08 00:46

I can win

Leave your vote below this line ;)

----- Stoker 18.12.08 00:30

S.M.I.L.E. = Spiritually Minded Is Life Eternal

----- Kuulei 18.12.08 00:14

I feel a radiating warmth at my side,
Tiny padded paws knead my ribs.
A kitten dreams.

----- Masa 17.12.08 23:59

go out and make a snow angel

----- Norman Sherfield 17.12.08 23:59

It’s the holidays. Be grateful for everything you have, and smile. :)

----- Julia 17.12.08 23:57

( Y )
(^ ^)
(“) (“)

look a bunny!

i though this was the cutest thing ever in middle school

----- Kye 17.12.08 23:50

I’m giving my g4 to my sister to use for school and this would be perfect for transferring the weeks of music I don’t want to loose onto!

----- t 17.12.08 23:39

Studies have shown that the more you smile, the longer you live. Lets start living longer right now. :D

----- Patrick 17.12.08 23:35

bored or stoned or just up late: http://upl8.tv/

----- Alex Fischer 17.12.08 23:30

if these give aways were any easier to win i would still be waiting to win!


----- levi montez 17.12.08 23:21


----- travis 17.12.08 23:12

I’m not schizophrenic. My definitions are infinite….

----- Dario 17.12.08 23:10

OK I think mine is pretty good:

Our Operations Manager just joined *BBW 2009* Big Beautiful Women* Belles Rondes 2009* on Facebook. The group’s display picture is a big momma sitting on some rocks in lingerie. Please look it up!

The manager in question is one big dude himself.

Facebook sometimes can’t lie.

----- Jaime 17.12.08 23:04

Everything will be okay. :)

----- Jonathan B. 17.12.08 22:56

my smile will make them smile when i got this precious piece

----- ladislas 17.12.08 22:50

For your enjoyment, poetry:


! * ’ ’ #
^ ” ` $ $ -

! * = @ $ _
% * ~ #4

& [ ] . . -

Translated from ASCII to English this reads:

Waka waka bang splat tick tick hash,
Caret quote back-tick dollar dollar dash.

Bang splat equals at dollar underscore,
Percent splat waka waka tilde number four.

Ampersand bracket bracket dot dot dash,
Vertical-bar curly-bracket comma comma CRASH!

by Fred Bremmer and Steve Kroese

----- Anissa 17.12.08 22:50

Picture your worst fear.

----- Chrisco 17.12.08 22:49

NEW SHOES. Those make me smile… they should make you smile, too.

----- Phoebe 17.12.08 22:45


This video goes to show that people can still just care for each other and expect nothing more than a thanks in return.

DDB out

----- DDB 17.12.08 22:45

the seagate extreme internet porn archive

----- John 17.12.08 22:42

You may be a co-dependent—

if you write, “Dear Diary. Sorry to bother you, but—”

----- Jean D. 17.12.08 22:36

What is invisible and smells like carrots?
Rabbit farts.

----- Stephanie F 17.12.08 22:34

If you watch this, you will smile = )

----- Darrell Hipolito 17.12.08 22:32

Oh man, I totally could use this for video editing!!

----- Sunny Thaper 17.12.08 22:23

Winning this would be schweet.

----- Ice Pick 17.12.08 22:23

Best youtube video ever…. Cooking by the Book mashup with Lil’ Jon. If you haven’t seen it before Youtube took it down, you’re missin out!! Non stop laughter

----- Tom 17.12.08 22:22

so this one time i was trapped in a van filled with asian people and one white guy, and we were all talking about chinese food and the white guy says out loud “everything i learned about china i learned from watching tokyo drift”

----- toymaker 17.12.08 22:21

“People who say they sleep like babies usually don’t have them.” ~ Leo J. Burke

----- Jenn Chou 17.12.08 22:20

and then i just frowned seeing my misspelling of BARACK*


----- Denise 17.12.08 22:15

“What’s the upside?”

----- doctrgrlfrnd 17.12.08 22:12

kicking it old school.

/# /_\_ |\_|/__/|
| |/o\o\ / / \/ \ \
| \_/_/ /__|O||O|__ \
/ |_ | |/_ \_/\_/ _\ |
| ||\_ ~| | | (____) | ||
| ||| \/ \/\___/\__/ //
| |||_ (_/ ||
\// | | ||
|| | | ||\
||_ \ \ //_/
\_| o| \______//
/\___/ __ || __||
/ ||||__ (____(____)

----- james gannon 17.12.08 22:10

Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree.

After hours of effort he reached the top. Suddenly, he threw himself into the air, waving his front legs until crashing into the ground.

After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree, jumped, and fell to the ground again. The turtle repeated this process again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts.

Finally, the female bird turned to her mate.
“Dear,” she chirped, “I think it’s time to tell him he’s adopted.”

----- Brandon Johnston 17.12.08 22:10


----- Ong Jian'an 17.12.08 22:02

mmmmmmmm. Hot Chocolate.

----- brian kelly hahn 17.12.08 21:59

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

a fsssssshhhhhhh!!!

ah, i love that one

----- Anna 17.12.08 21:47

Giving a baby some Lemons, watching them give a sour face, and asking for more!

----- Ying 17.12.08 21:45


----- Jeff 17.12.08 21:44


If kittens don’t make you smile, you have no heart.

----- Alia A. 17.12.08 21:26

Barrack Obama will be inaugurated in 32 days, 23 hours, 40 minutes, and 45 seconds. SMILE!

----- Denise 17.12.08 21:19


----- robert 17.12.08 21:18

If girls with big boobs work at Hooters, where do girls with one legs work at?

----- vu 17.12.08 21:15

think of your first love :)

----- Christina 17.12.08 21:13

m - ;)
f - >(
m - ;)
f - >)
m - ;)
f - ;)

we’re all humans

----- ayush 17.12.08 21:02

Capuchine makes me smile every time!

Everyone’s probably already seen it, but it brightens my day every time I watch it.

----- Beth 17.12.08 20:49

What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?

Nacho Cheese

----- Jeremy 17.12.08 20:44

this image represents the economy now a days so any giveaway i can participate is awesome.

----- m_vice 17.12.08 20:36

Parce que j’ai le jeu, mes chiennes!

----- THARAYIL 17.12.08 20:35

I think this comic is a very good representation of many a conversation I’ve had with my friends Ryan and Michael…


----- Tom 17.12.08 20:29

happy holidays!

----- amy t 17.12.08 20:28

OM NOM NOM, Koala Bears are CUTE!


----- Collin Banko 17.12.08 20:28

Last night my dogs looked so cold outside in the miserable weather outside that I let them come and sleep on my bed. A little while latter when fast asleep I woke to the sound one of the dogs vomiting on my bed.

They were then hurried out whilst I spent 20min cleaning up.

I love them none the less!

----- Nicole T 17.12.08 20:18


Especially the first two videos in New Orleans and “New York, NY”. Makes me love people.

----- Jeremy Stern 17.12.08 20:15

big dry snowflakes and twinkle lights and hot toddies with friends :)

----- Emily 17.12.08 20:15


----- smurgle 17.12.08 20:12

old couples romancing

----- rachel 17.12.08 20:07

i think one of these things would cover all my data storage needs for quite a long time…

----- David 17.12.08 20:06

Baby seals!

----- thatkidthere 17.12.08 20:03

(1) Close your door.
(2) Put your favorite jam. (Just Dance — Lady Gaga)
(3) Smile whilst rocking it out. :)

----- freefallen 17.12.08 20:02

I opened my window and breeze blew in…

----- mark 17.12.08 19:58

Zoinks! I can always use more space for creating the ultimate HTPC rig!

----- Anthony 17.12.08 19:58

My three year old daughter constantly cracks me up. Her latest was: “I like Wonder Woman. She comes at night. She wonders where we are.”

----- Shelby 17.12.08 19:55

esata for life!

----- aldo 17.12.08 19:54

Finals week is nearly over!

----- Justin 17.12.08 19:54

Everyday our past grows longer and our future shorter,
but the sorrows of yesterday will never outweigh the hopes of tomorrow.

----- Jasper 17.12.08 19:53

Remember RedRyder and a 2400 baud modem?

----- Eric 17.12.08 19:44

Babies everywhere ^_^

----- Desiree Fawnd 17.12.08 19:42

Congrats, you are now debt free and here’s $1,000,000. Now go make your dreams come true.

----- Jason 17.12.08 19:40

I just sneezed - I am allergic to good times! Reading Notcot is a good time-ehhhh???

----- TQ 17.12.08 19:36

Interests include: burr grinders, pwnage, and CivIV

----- JB 17.12.08 19:36

Happy Christmas…

----- James D. LaCroix 17.12.08 19:35

I’m king of the world!

----- Daniel Gizo 17.12.08 19:31

(A terabite! I would just die)

As I left the store yesterday I was walking past a woman in a trapeze dress announcing proudly (and LOUDLY) to someone on her cellphone, “I found God!” and literally at that very moment, a gust of wind blew her dress chin high. And I saw Heaven. lol. True story.

----- Emily 17.12.08 19:26

Wocka Wocka Wocka

----- Sean C. 17.12.08 19:24

frown then turn yourself upside down.

----- Matt 17.12.08 19:23

If you believe in psychokinesis…raise my hand.

----- chris 17.12.08 19:16

SMILE!!! If you are reading this things can’t be all that bad…pass it on! :)

----- Robert W. 17.12.08 19:13

the muppets had a christmas special tonight, and gonzo’s song made me cry. it was beautiful and it made me smile!

----- kathryn 17.12.08 19:11

How do you make a hormone?

Read it aloud. heh heh

----- Helen 17.12.08 19:08

My cat is covering her eyes with her paw and gently snoring =]

----- Kerrie 17.12.08 19:05

I accepted the invite to go lobster fishing in the north atlantic today. I spent 18 hours at sea in a small boat, being tossed around while throwing up for the entire 18 hours. Not to mention it was below zero so while I was on deck clinging on to a barrel of chopped up fish guts and throwing up I was also cold. Why should you smile? cause you weren’t there with me.

----- Josh 17.12.08 19:05

if you don’t believe in Christmas, or if you are insanely love it, there’s probably one thing most of us can agree on about the holidays.

It’s a great time to not be at work!

----- Josh 17.12.08 19:01

Oldie, and goodie, and points if anyone knows where this conversation allegedly took place, and love for MT accepting HTML entities and run-on sentences:

<Eurakarte> RETORT

----- Michael 17.12.08 18:58

So there’s these two muffins in the oven,
one muffin turns to the other muffin and says:
“Gee, it’s getting kinda hot in here, huh?”
to which the other muffin replied:

----- Iain 17.12.08 18:57

So this one time it was me, a rabbi, and Jesus were sitting around a campfire.

----- Ariel 17.12.08 18:56

I would give them this freeagent :)

----- polszki 17.12.08 18:54

An atom walks into a bar, gets wasted. As he’s leaving, he checks his pockets and says, “Darn, I’ve lost an electron”.
The bartender said “Are you sure?”
So the atom says, “I’m positive.”

A piece of rope walks into a bar and the bartender says, “We don’t serve your kind.” The rope goes outside, ties himself in a knot and frays one end of himself. He walks back into the bar and the bartender says, “Weren’t you just in here?” The rope replies, “No, I’m a frayed knot.”

----- Gabe 17.12.08 18:53

What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snow Balls! (giggle, giggle)

----- Jeremy 17.12.08 18:43

240 dollars worth of pudding.

----- jason 17.12.08 18:29

You look pretty.

----- Rachel 17.12.08 18:27

brahms, any brahms, really

----- Daniel 17.12.08 18:26

Don’t panic! Everything’s going to be OK.

----- Allison S. 17.12.08 18:23

say cheese!

----- Allison 17.12.08 18:16

Hey baby, I’m glad you finally gave me your email address. I’ve been wanting to tell you for a long time how I feel about you. It was so great running into you the other day at Dave’s house. I was a little worried you might not right back after that little jäger incident, I really thought I could handle that stuff better. Anyway, I’m really looking forward to seeing you tomorrow, but what was that address again? I’m sure we’ll hook up. Did Jim get you home okay? I haven’t been able to reach him since the party. Well, okay, write back soon! Xoxoxo

----- Doug 17.12.08 18:13

What did the ocean say to the sea?

Nothing, it just waved.

----- jackie 17.12.08 18:10

Ok, so I had a list of youtube videos and clever sayings but I thought this is better.

This is my friend Pat http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Z28J_d-gMk&feature=channel_page , he was diagnosed with Leukemia recently. Its hard to think of him like this since he was the one who always made me happy.

I havent seen him or the rest of my friends for months because we all go away on coop and the one way I get to smile is by watching his video he made while working at Fisher Price. I miss them! Check out his videos, I guarantee you, he’ll get you to smile!


Better yet, your views and hopefully some encouraging comments for him will make him smile.

----- Jon M 17.12.08 18:10

I forgot my mantra.

----- David Lewis 17.12.08 18:09

seagates are awesome

----- Chris C 17.12.08 18:04


Pretty much everywhere… it’s gonna be hot.

----- Dave 17.12.08 18:04

Curds & Whey

----- pablo 17.12.08 18:00

a dyslexic man walks into a bra

----- moldovan 17.12.08 18:00

gigaty gigaty gigaty

----- jacob 17.12.08 17:58

so get this, U R beautiful. You dont deserve the shit people hand you. Hand it back at them. Get that? XD

----- insolv1niac86 17.12.08 17:56

I’m not Rick James?

----- Evan 17.12.08 17:51

My students arguing about the way Santa gets into houses.

----- Keri 17.12.08 17:48


now that’s a great video

----- Justin 17.12.08 17:48

If all you ever do is all you’ve ever done, then all you’ll ever get is all you ever got.

----- NS 17.12.08 17:46

What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner. ~Colette

----- brian 17.12.08 17:45

On a cold winter’s day—snow flakes falling softly, a warm fire in the fireplace, the smell of something spicy baking in the oven, a pot of hot homemade soup and warm bread.

----- Melanie 17.12.08 17:44

A few weeks ago i received the most peculiar information from an all knowing fortune cookie… Upon breaking open the delectable cookie of fortune, i was greatly surprised to find out that it said “You are going to Hell”. So, why should that make you smile? Well, it turns out that all of your fortunes are better then mine! Merry Christmas!

----- Jonathan 17.12.08 17:44

i once saw a dude puking so much it made me have to pee.

----- bobdot 17.12.08 17:43

If the little lights are color coded by type of data I am screwed unless my GF believes the red lights stand for “really good work spread sheets” and not “porn”.

----- Josh 17.12.08 17:40

Winning makes people smile! :)

----- Shelly 17.12.08 17:37

arrrrrrrg matey!!!

----- Vadhym 17.12.08 17:35

what do you call a cow with 3 legs? LEAN BEEF!

----- Eric A Stratton 17.12.08 17:34

Juvenile & sometimes smelly, but always funny…

----- Ela 17.12.08 17:34


----- lindsay 17.12.08 17:33

A very cheesey conversation:
“Oh hey Jack, how are you?”
“Ohhh, Gouda. You?”
“Feta nice, thanks. Might I ask the make of that watch?”
“Swiss. Why?”
“Oh, I just like the blue in it. Well, gotta go! havarti a good one!”
“Oh hey, why provolone when we can prov-together?”
“Well, ok, let’s go explorateur!”

----- Casey McGrath 17.12.08 17:32

What is the difference between a salad fork and a soup fork?

A soup fork is a spoon.

----- Scott McColl 17.12.08 17:30

Flight of the Conchords are back!

----- Michael 17.12.08 17:28

kittens and puppies drinking chai latte’s in a cashmere sock.

----- evan 17.12.08 17:28

Yo Dawg! I heard you like hard drives so we put a hard drive in your hard drive so you can store while you store!

----- Zac 17.12.08 17:20

sAy “CHeese!”
see, you smiled :)
picture came out great too.

i took it with your Canon 5D Mark II

no wonder…

----- mark 17.12.08 17:20

How can this not make you smile =^.^=


By the way love the use of the golden section to adorn the lights. Very elegant design!

----- Lilit Pilikian 17.12.08 17:19

the muppet christmas special is currently on, which is one of the only christmas specials that make me smile

----- Erik Dahl 17.12.08 17:19

snow days

----- mikey 17.12.08 17:17

Sometimes I say, “what’s the story morning glory?” to random people on the street. :)

----- Victor 17.12.08 17:17

SMILE if you are not wearing panties! :)

----- Lawrence 17.12.08 17:15

Now that I learned my current external is going to die I am in need of a new large external to back up all of my art school work before it all gets wiped away.

----- Adam Brodowski 17.12.08 17:13

NOTCOT…I can’t help but smile when its loading in my RSS reader.

----- Joshua 17.12.08 17:10

Imagine if it held a TERRORBYTE of data!

----- Jeremy 17.12.08 17:08

Where does the King keep his armies?

In his sleevies!

----- darren 17.12.08 17:08


----- John Allison 17.12.08 17:07

So I heard this joke when I was working a crappy summer job.Iit’s kind of long, but trust me it’s funny… at least to me.

John was working at a grocery store when a man comes up to him and asks “Can I buy just a half a head of lettuce?” John is some what annoyed by this question so he just says “Let me go ask my manager.” As he walks across the store to his manager he doesn’t realize that the man has followed behind him. John says, “Hey, I’ve got this jerk over here who wants to buy half a head of lettuce!” John soon realizes that the man is right behind him so he quickly says “and this guy wants to buy the other half.” the manager says that is fine and sends the customer to the register.

The manager then commended John, “Hey that was pretty quick thinking there, I like what I saw. Where are you from again?” John replies, “I moved out here from Minnesota but the only thing there are hookers and hockey teams.” The manager furiously says “Well my wife is from Minnesota!” to which John replies “Oh, really? what team does she play for?”

Okay so maybe you’ve heard it… did you smile though?

----- leslie 17.12.08 17:07

If this is not the most pure representation of being silly and funny or doesn’t make you smile and feel all warm inside, I truly don’t know what does it…

Like the song goes, “Her name is Lola, she was a showgirl…”

----- Sandra 17.12.08 17:06

super cute penguins

----- Alison 17.12.08 17:01

My co-worker just got engaged in a puppy! Oh wait, will that make everyone happy or is it too cheesball? ;)

----- Stacy B. 17.12.08 16:56

True Story:

I met my wife while we were both living in Ukraine for 2 years on a humanitarian mission. Neither of us chose to go to Ukraine but instead signed up for the program and were sent there, I from California, and her from Virginia. We ended up falling in love.

When we got back to the states, it was discovered that we had attended Sunday School each week together when we were 8 years old. Our families knew each other and some of our siblings had been good friends years ago but due to her dad’s military service, they had moved away. We had known each other since we were 8, but we had to be individually sent to the other side of the world in order to fall in love.

----- Worth Dayley 17.12.08 16:56

Q: Where does a King keep his armies?

A: In his sleevies.

----- Steve 17.12.08 16:54

(゚、 。 7
 l、 ~ヽ
 じしf_, )ノ

Look! A kitty!!!

----- Finch 17.12.08 16:50

I like to eat ice cream even in the winter time.

----- zee 17.12.08 16:45

The office park where I work is covered in ice. The parking lot is pretty much a skating rink right now. Most people parked outside the lot to avoid actually trying to drive on the ice. My car has 4-Wheel Drive, so I made it all the way to the front door of my building just fine. I managed to slip as soon as I got in the building on the freshly waxed floors. Turns out the janitor got iced in and got bored and waxed the hallway 5 times before falling asleep. He bought me a coffee and some advil.

----- Sean 17.12.08 16:44

(; ・_・)―――――――――C

----- andrew 17.12.08 16:43

There are three types of people in this world: those who can count, and those who can’t.

----- whatBENwatches 17.12.08 16:42

free homemade cookies and cheese cake on Friday!

----- somerset walmsley 17.12.08 16:42

I’ve got a couple. following the theme:

roses are red,
boogers are green,
leave you message,
on my answering machine.

and of course winnning the drive would make any of us smile! :)

----- Benjamin 17.12.08 16:42

This always gets me every time:


----- Twiggy 17.12.08 16:41

Well its funny to me, but the last picture in the post looks like a cake at first glance. Mmmm pretty HDD cake..

----- Mark 17.12.08 16:40

Smiling is contagious, so :).

----- Wes C 17.12.08 16:39


----- Matt 17.12.08 16:39

Best pick-up line ever-

Does this rag smell like chloroform?

----- Brent St. Amant 17.12.08 16:36

33 days 16 hours, and 26 minutes til Bush is OUT OF OFFICE!!

----- Sam D Christian 17.12.08 16:34

instead of the Mahi Mahi can i have just the one Mahi, i’m not that hungry.

----- Jennifer 17.12.08 16:33

No matter what the best is yet to come

----- Charles 17.12.08 16:31

LOT 23: Pandora’s Box.

‘I knew a girl called pandora … She never showed me her box though’

----- Andy pearce 17.12.08 16:31

see, i’m smiling already!

----- ili 17.12.08 16:30

Keep calm and carry on watching streaming video of puppies:

----- Kendra N. 17.12.08 16:29

I don’t want the drive… but this guy does. Considering he had my last drive for dinner. gizmo

----- John 17.12.08 16:27

mmmm…Christmas Cookies… :)

----- Valerie 17.12.08 16:26

A buddy of mine got a fortune cookie yesterday that said: You are faithful in the execution of any public trust.

----- Jen Goldberg 17.12.08 16:26


----- jeff cheung 17.12.08 16:25

“….they say 60 percent of the time, it works every time”

----- Tom Venanzio 17.12.08 16:24

Rodney Dangerfield once had a car so bad, he took it out for a Sunday push. But my car… IS EVEN WORSE!

----- Alex Marshall 17.12.08 16:24

Only 1 month, 3 days, 11 hours, and 37 minutes until Dubya get’s gone.

----- Wyley S 17.12.08 16:23

smile if you don’t wear underwear

----- james 17.12.08 16:22

….and the captain said, “Why do chum the waters with your ignorance?” The buxom deck hand felt her chest heave with desire……………..

----- Shane™ 17.12.08 16:22

Okay, this is so silly, but it is my favorite joke:

Two muffins are baking in the oven.
Muffin #1: Wow, it sure is hot in here!
Muffin #2: Yikes, a talking muffin!

Okay, if that didn’t do it for you, check out these pictures from the “Let There be Light” exhibition that I was in last weekend. It involves outdoor light-focused art installations to celebrate the winter solstice. Just by coincidence it was also the brightest full moon of the year that night.

----- Harrietsayshi 17.12.08 16:21

Here’s hoping!! :)

----- Chris 17.12.08 16:21

I liked the one with the cat on the treadmill.

Today I bought my dog a bone that is as long as my forearm.

I’ve got a case of the anhedonia.

----- Josh 17.12.08 16:21

George Bush will soon be out of office, and the last thing people will remember about him is that a journalist threw 2 shoes at him. Beautiful.

----- robert q 17.12.08 16:20

you deserve it,
you’re amazing,
you’re wonderful,
you look great!

----- Don 17.12.08 16:19

this year, santas claws will bring me chiliroasted oysters and puppets made out of butter…

----- will 17.12.08 16:18

leaving the dentist makes me smile.

----- brad 17.12.08 16:17

I got one of these in silver for my mom’s iMac. She loves it.

----- Brian 17.12.08 16:17

May Notcot never let the crumbling economy get in the way of fulfilling my Christmas list :)

----- jeanaymeri 17.12.08 16:15

My’s stupid. She loves to eat rubberbands. She’ll eat as many rubberbands as she can get her paws on. We didn’t know this at first, and one night she ate 7 rubberbands and threw them up one at a time. That was fun. She also eats my clothes. I hate my cat.
So instead of a cat video, here’s some Japanese milk commercials!

----- rem 17.12.08 16:14

smile. -really

----- dylan 17.12.08 16:14

I know I’m supposed to write something to make you smile, but I just got dumped and this would make me smile… anyway here is my attempt at making you smile…

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Peanut butter is sticky…
and I can’t swim.

----- Conrad Nuccio 17.12.08 16:08

Young children, toddlers, infants. They always do something funny.

----- Jack 17.12.08 16:08


----- Jason 17.12.08 16:07

What is love? What is this longing in our hearts for togetherness? Is it not the sweetest flower? Does not this flower of love have the fragrant aroma of fine, fine diamonds? Does not the wind love the dirt? Is not love not unlike the unlikely not it is unlikened to? Are you with someone tonight? Do not question your love. Take your lover by the hand. Release the power within yourself. Your heard me, release the power. Tame the wild cosmos with a whisper. Conquer heaven with one intimate caress. That’s right don’t be shy. Whip out everything you got and do it in the butt. By Leon Phelps

----- Denys 17.12.08 16:06

My cat’s breath smells like cat food.

----- Emmie 17.12.08 16:06


----- LMD 17.12.08 16:06

Puppies and kitties….how much simpler can it get? ; )

----- SuzyCat 17.12.08 16:06

Happy Holidays!

----- Jason 17.12.08 16:05

Rearrange Merry Christmas and you get Scram, Merry Sh!t. Happy Holidays.

----- GT 17.12.08 16:04

I totally hate christmas (misanthrope) but the last frame of santa makes me laugh vigorously.

----- Matt H 17.12.08 16:01

There once was an elf from Nantucket…

you finish :)

----- Jon Stone 17.12.08 16:01

One day I was driving down the street and saw a “rotund” homeless man pushing a shopping cart full of cans. On top of this rotund gentleman’s head was a baseball cap that said…No Money, No Honey. For the rest of the day I kept thinking about that hat, the bizarre sight and that rotund person. Was he an angel from God sent to remind me to appreciate what I have in my life or a sad soul who’d fallen on hard times and maybe wasn’t even aware of what the hat said. Either way, it didn’t matter cause all I wanted was that hat.

And I still do.

----- Ed 17.12.08 16:01


Pirate walks into a bar, his tallywacker tied around a steering wheel.
Bartender says: “What the hell is THAT???
Pirate says: Arrrrr, I don’t rightly know, but it’s driving me nuts!

----- Michael Parisi 17.12.08 15:59


----- Dustin 17.12.08 15:59

It’s time to grab a bowl of chili and get a great big warm hug from the inside of your belly. Slip on those Uggs (yes New Yorkers they’re ugly but oh so cozy)
and sit by the fire.

----- monica 17.12.08 15:58

Happy Holidays from Sydney, AUS everyone! Obligatory lolcat =)

----- Will 17.12.08 15:55

“I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my children, they just about throw up.” - Barbara Bush

----- Tracy 17.12.08 15:55

(YES, I’M FIRST!!) well… what make me smile is the felling that all my family and my friends are happy

----- Joel 17.12.08 15:53


----- Joe Wasserman 17.12.08 15:53

Whenever I am in a bad mood, this video makes me giggle until my sides hurt:

----- Kim 17.12.08 15:52

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I have multiple personality disorder
And so do I.

----- Aaron Haifley 17.12.08 15:49

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